Today (Saturday the 27th), I was going through the notes in my Evernote account (I love that app by the way, it was created for nerds like me who live by notes and whatnot... check it out, it is online and has apps that sync across devices! Check it out here). Anyway, I digress. I was going through the notes in my Evernote account and I ran across something I wrote just slightly more than a year ago, February 3, 2015, to be exact. I reread it, and it scared me. It scared me for a number of reasons: 1) just how bad things were, 2) that I had the courage to even admit some of those things to myself, and 3) the level of despair/hopelessness that I felt. Today I am so far from that dark place that it feels like it was a whole lifetime ago, but it really wasn't. All I can do is just thank God, for I know it was truly by His grace that I survived those dark times. Reminds me of another old-school gospel song that we used to sing at my childhood church, "How I Got Over." The lyrics in a partial form (as I recall them, I'm not going to look them up): "How I got over, How I got over my Lord. My soul looks back and wonder, how I got over my Lord." That's what I'm feeling right now.
Anyway, something else jumped out at me in that note that I want to talk about today. Something that most people don't like to talk about and is certainly taboo in most African-American households: FINANCES.
Now, don't run and hide in the corner, I'm going to share my personal testimony with you and my reflections on Bishop TD Jakes' Grounded in Finances sermon with you today and hopefully someone will be blessed by it. I'm going to break from my normal format and share my testimony first, then the Bishop's sermon. This will be kinda long, so I apologize in advance, but I'm being led to share it, so here we go...!
In that note from just over a year ago, I had written about the severe financial crisis that was ever present in my life at that time, and I decided to share that here to drive home the topic of this here post. I am warning you in advance that some *SUPER TRANSPARENCY* is about to happen, but I am sharing it, ok, I might edit some things because I do know some of you in real life..., but here I am, embracing my imperfect life):
"I owe you lots. For starters, I lost my job in 2013- my last 'official' day was July 31, 2013. I haven't had a job since. I have applied to jobs, had two interviews in the course of a year and a half. I have been temping off and on since November.
There was more, but you get the idea. Maybe I'll share the rest one day. Anyhoo, just reading that today, gave me pause and all I could do is look towards heaven and say "Thank You." I'm not where I want to be, but I certainly ain't where I've been! And thank God that I don't look like what I've been through!!! I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with being grounded in finances, right? I'm glad you asked! Let's go to the sermon, from January 24, 2016, "Grounded in Finances." If you want to see it for yourself, here is
the link. His text came from Ecclesiastes 10:19, 7:12.
He started out with one of the most profound truths I have heard about money (especially in this country): "We have a culture of buying what we want and begging for what we need."
Ouch! Ready? Let's go!
Check out 1 Timothy 6:5-10, and here are Bishop's points on the subject of money:
- we have to follow purpose, not profit;
- -there must be BALANCE in our attitude towards money;
- -we have to learn to need money without loving it;
- -tithes break the curse of loving money - it makes your "stuff" bow down;
- -God is looking for people to bless:
- someone who will worship Him with their resources;
- your profits bow to purpose when you pay tithes and offerings;
- when we worship through our resources, we are saying that He is worth more than what He has given us;
- when you say the giver is more valuable than the gift, He will always give you more things! (he had an awesome example in here of a time when he bought his wife a gift, and her appreciation made him want to buy her even more things)
- God doesn't need, but our financial gifts show what He's worth to us
- See Haggai 1:5-11
- Hidden idols lead to hidden judgment: when you leave God out of your finances, holes are cut in your pockets...
- you can only be blessed by divine permission
- if you approach this year emotionally, instead of intellectually, you will miss His blessings this year
- get your heart of money and put your mind to money!
- (And here is the thing that made me cry as I heard it, because I have lived it): When the enemy brings a curse, he sends the spirit of depression;
- God will give you a strategy; for every problem in finances, you need a strategy;
- He gives you the resource, what you do with it is your gift back;
- (And then he finished with this): Be awesome on your level - don't try to keep up with the Joneses (or anyone else)!
What a sermon, right? Once again, I'm sure I didn't do it justice, so if it peaks your interest, you can check out the whole thing using the above link. If you still don't get where I'm going yet, go back to the very beginning of this post when I said "I have been able to start saving money again (imagine that!)." Then go back and re-read the excerpt from my post from last February... Those are two distinct situations, one on each end of the spectrum (well, I'm not quite at the opposite end of the spectrum, but a lot closer than I was on that day when the burden of financial hardship was weighing heavily on me). And let's keep it real, in order for us to "save" money, for most people that means that we have taken care of EVERYTHING else first... So how did I get here? That's where the rest of the testimony comes in...
So over the time I've had this blog, I've been pretty transparent with things going on in my world. Although I would wager a guess that not very many of the people who know me knew that all of that was going on. And that's ok, everything isn't always to be shared with other people, however, I believe that testimonies are to be shared, for the purpose of help, encouragement, upliftment and just general thanks and glory to God. So that's why I do it (am doing it).
The middle of February 2015 brought some financial ups: I took on an hourly client with a retainer (about a week after that post), and that brought about some immediate financial relief; my real estate clients/closings picked up a bit, which also brought some relief. Some, not all. But it did help to restore my faith and get me out of that dark place. Fast forward to the move (early/mid September). I was in a panic, not sure how I was going to take care of the finances at the new place and I was anxious. On a particularly bad day (I mean full of tears, the ugly cry kind) out of sheer desperation, I called my church and made an appointment with Pastor Varnado, who is in charge of our help ministries (I believe this is correct). Anyway, I sat in her office and tried to explain to her everything that was going on, what I was feeling and I remember crying. A lot. She in turn shared some things with me from her own life, situations that were just as difficult, if not more so than the ones I was facing, all to illustrate where God has brought her and her family from. Being honest, I heard her, but sometimes when you are in the middle of life drama, you can listen without hearing because the depth of your issues are clouding everything over. At the end of our talk, she asked me if there was anything in the world she could do for me, what would that be. And I told her my concerns about being able to pay the October rent, because although there was "future" money in the pipeline, I didn't know if it would be here in time. Now, I had no idea I was going to say that nor was I prepared for what happened next. I got a call in the next few days that Pastor Singleton had been told of my situation and that they were going to take care of it. I was in complete shock and could do nothing but cry and thank God.
Meanwhile, I had just finished up my One-on-One Discipleship Class, which I discussed with Pastor Varnado, and she encouraged me to go back through the prayer lesson and begin to pray specific petitions (again). We talked about other stuff, but today we're just focusing on finances... Anyway, I did, and in my prayers, it came back to my remembrance how I had strayed from being a consistent tithes-payer over the years, and I cringed a bit. I used to have it in my budget and do it like clockwork, no matter what. Then things got tight financially and I stopped being consistent. Then I just stopped. Then I started back on a percentage basis. (Yeah, all types of foolishness...) Then I had nothing to pay tithes with... And then I did everything I could think of, which didn't work... (more foolishness).
So I repented. And I promised God that going forward, I would pay tithes on everything I earned and that I would just "stop" and rely on Him. That was in the middle of September, I believe. I had two phone interviews with recruiters, both on the same day (about the end of September) and I got a call back from one of them the next day, indicating that they wanted me to come in for a face-to-face interview, which I did. Forty-five minutes later, I was called back to say I had been selected for an upcoming project. That project started in October, and I've been with them ever since (on different projects, but the same company). And I've kept my word to God, cheerfully and thankfully, and He's kept His Word to me: I have been blessed financially beyond belief! Need specific examples? Here you go:
- I was able to prepay 6 months of my rent in a lump sum in November 2015;
- During such an extended period of unemployment, some things ended up in collection; it happens. I've been able to get most of those things paid off in full;
- I've been able to do "extra" things for the kids;
- I've been able to be a financial blessing to others;
- My bills are paid;
- I've been able to put money in my savings account, which had a balance of $22 in September 2015...; and
- I haven't had to balance my checkbook or pennypinch at all; I've been able to do the things I want and need to do, with 80% of my take home (I do 10% tithes and 10% savings).
Why am I sharing all of this? Good question, I am generally not one for sharing all my business, but God has taken me outside of my comfort zone in this medium. But I don't mind sharing if it helps someone else. So what I believe my testimony is with this post is to a) show you they physical manifestation of where God has brought me from, so that you will know that no matter the depth of the financial crisis you find yourself in at the moment, He hears and He still delivers; and b) the blessings of tithing and changing my attitude towards money (and jobs, for that matter). So to anyone in blogland who is facing a financial challenge (I mean when you really don't know where your next dollar is coming from), keep praying. As Pastor Singleton has said, sometimes God allows things to happen to us so we stop relying on ourselves and learn to rely on Him for everything. Because He is the source of, well, everything! And also so that when He delivers you from it, you will know it was Him that did it.
That's where I am. I know that for all of this to happen in the course of a year, it was nothing but Him. And so today I stand (ok, really sit in front of my computer) before you and unequivocally say that I am "Grounded in Finances."
I apologize for such a long post (and I'm supposed to be getting ready for hostessing duties at the moment but I had to finish), but I think it's important to share our testimonies. This is new for me, but I pray that someone reading this will be encouraged and will share their testimony when their breakthrough comes.
So how about it - did this help anyone??? Holla @ Darvi and let me know! Have a great week and be blessed!
xoxoxo
