Hello, 2016!

Happy New Year, Blogland!  Like the graphic?  It is from "Graphics by Pininkie at Mygrafico."  I thought it was pretty cute!  The end of 2015 found me in church with the tween (she had to dance at Watch Night Service).  It was the first time in a long time that I brought in the new year at church (I wanna say the last time was NYE 2003...)!  The young people did a wonderful job!  We were home before 12:30 and I didn't even try to stay up much later than that.  Times have definitely changed...

The end of 2015 was bittersweet in so many ways; if you will allow me to be transparent for just a moment.  This week has been a tough one.  Number 1, my heart is heavy for my friends/family who lost loved ones this week (right after Christmas and before the new year came).  So often we take for granted the things we "plan," often forgetting that the future doesn't belong to us... The worse part of it all is that each of these lost loved ones were only a year or two older than I am; no one was older than 50.  That is very sobering to me- this thing called life can be very fleeting...  And I just found out Natalie Cole died!  

Number 2, my heart is heavy for all that I have lost over the past few years in this season of loss in my life.  I don't do change well (remember that?  I wrote about it here).  I have been in this season of loss for 10 years now.  There have been big losses as well as little losses. The losses have been relational, personal, health, material, financial, professional, friendships, my grandma - you name it, I've lost it!  Some of those losses have knocked me down (on the inside, sometimes physically manifest on the outside).  And as difficult as it's been, I keep getting back up to try and pull it back together just one more time.  Although each time it seems like I stay down a little longer, I keep getting back up.  That could mean many things:  that I am a fool or a glutton for punishment or maybe, just maybe there's something better out there if I keep pressing on.  A lot of times I do feel foolish and I just want to quit and I let myself have a pity party for a few (kinda like now) but eventually, I get back up.  For as down as I might be, there is something in me that won't stop believing that there is "better" and that I can have it!

2015 was a year filled with some low-lows. I can't say high-highs; just mid-range highs.  I am happy to see it go, quite frankly.  There were lots of lessons learned, some I didn't want to learn, but they came anyway, whether I wanted them or not.  My beliefs were tested and some shattered.  My world was shattered and I'm still picking up the pieces and trying to find the glue to put it back together in a way that fits for what my life looks like now.  Let me be honest- it's downright frightening!  And what makes it even more frightening is that there are two not so little people looking at me to see how I manage all of this (the tween and teen) because surely that will shape how they manage hurts, disappointments, change and loss in their own lives.  For with each loss that I have had, it has affected them too.  And more than anything, I want them to be ok...

So here we are, on the first day of 2016, and all is quiet in my house.  Literally the only sound is me pecking away at this keyboard, and I'm doing that from the comfort of my bed! My mind and my emotions are all over the place - I've put off thinking and writing because I've been trying to get a handle on it all!  And it's just hard.  I was so disappointed in 2015 that I'm almost afraid to want anything in 2016 but survival.  There are things I want, sure, but I've been beat down so much that I'm scared to even put them in the universe lest they be taken away from me too...which is certainly not how I intended to start the year, but it's how I feel at this particular time.  That being said, I'm not quite ready to say any of that stuff yet, but I might be tomorrow - depends on how the rest of today pans out (real talk).  

All of which brings me to my 2016 Word of the Year.  For the past 10 years, a group of friends and I have participated in the One Little Word Challenge.  I originally learned of this in 2006 from Creating Keepsakes Magazine (one of my favorite scrapbooking magazines that has since gone on to glory) and we started doing it in 2007.  The concept is that you choose a word at the end of the previous year or beginning of the new year to guide and reflect on throughout the year as you go about this thing called life.  The concept was coined by Ali Edwards, and you can read more about it here.  Something that she wrote I wanna share here:  

"A single word can be a powerful thing... It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything.  It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow."  

I encourage you to go read the post, google it, and maybe you will be inspired to choose a word for your year.  Anyway, I've been doing this since 2007 and some years my words were spot on, other years I missed them like the Cubs missed going to the world series last year!  But, good, bad and otherwise, here are my past words:

2007 - Transition

2008 - Perseverance

2009 - Optimism

2010 - Reality

2011 - Renewal

2012 - Excel

2013 - Embrace

2014 - Restore

2015 - Be...

 And without further ado, my word for 2016 is:  WISDOM.  

Wisdom is defined as the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.  Webster's defines it as knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life; the natural ability to understand things that most other people cannot understand; the knowledge of what is proper or reasonable.  That's how I want to live 2016- as a wise woman.  One who has learned from her many life experiences and applies those lessons to her current life.  My grandmother was a wise woman and I strive to be like her, when it's all said and done.

That's it, that's all.  2016, we are here!  Ready to tackle all that you throw our way (I think)! So what about you - anyone else do a Word of the Year/One Little Word Challenge and is willing to share your word here?  You know the drill, Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed and enjoy this first day of the new year!

xoxoxo

Chicago, my kind of town!

Welp, it's Wednesday again.  I finished my one-on-one discipleship class at church last night; 10 weeks actually went very fast.  I truly enjoyed the class - it was exactly what I hoped it would be- a renewing of my spirit (wo)man.  I feel different (in a good way) even though so much is still in disarray around these parts and I have so much yet to do.  I have a move coming up next week and it's shaping up quite differently than it was initially supposed to.  Not sure how I feel about that.  All that change I talked about?  Coming at me fast...

 

Anyhoo, today I figured I would write the post I was supposed to do on Friday.  About Chicago, my hometown.  I love Chicago (even though technically I've been a suburbanite for more than a decade now).  I first fell in love with Chicago and its rich history back in the 6th grade in my Options for Knowledge class at Kellogg Elementary School.  Each quarter our teacher, Mrs. Scannell, would pick a new topic for us to research and study and then we'd pick our individual topics from there, put on a teach-in for the whole school (in costume) and go around to the different classrooms to "teach" our subject.  It was the best experience of my life and I'm so glad I got the chance to experience it.  Anyway, our last topic that year was Chicago.  I studied George Pullman and the Pullman Porters, go figure.  Sidenote, in college I did a research paper on the history of blacks in Morgan Park/Beverly, so my love of Chicago lived on... Anyway, our teach-ins for the school took the form of a play with teaching built in.  It was actually ingenious, I must say, in looking back.  For the Chicago teach-in, we learned a number of songs that I still remember to this day. 

 

"If someone ever asked me what Chicago is, it might take me an hour, two or three.  'Cuz I'd take time to tell them what Chicago is, and all the things Chicago means to me.  My kind of town, Chicago is, my kind of town, Chicago is, One town that won't let you down, it's my kind of town... Each time I roam, Chicago is, calling me home, Chicago is, One town that won't let you down, it's my kind of town... Each time I leave, Chicago is, tugging my sleeve, Chicago is... the Wrigley Building, Chicago is, the Union Stockyards, Chicago is, Comiskey Ballpark (at least it was in 1982), Chicago is, one town that won't let you down, it's My Kind of Town!!!!"  (Ad libbed from what I remember of one of our teach-in songs)

 

Then there's Chicago that toddlin' town and just plain Chicago.  There's also the group Chicago (who I LOVE, by the way)... But I digress so very much...

 

Last Thursday I had the opportunity to check out the "Open Air" exhibit at the Field Museum (the last day was Monday).  I loved it!  It was a great day, although it was very hot out.  The exhibit was a free, outdoor exhibit featuring the photography of Walter Iooss, Jr., the "poet laureate of sports," and his subject?  His Airness, himself - Michael Jordan!  What a great, great collection and it was so peaceful to explore!  It made me smile all day.  I thank the Field Museum, Mr. Ioos and the Jordan Brand for bringing it to Chicago!  Did I take pictures?  But of course... Without further ado, Open Air!!! *Be forewarned, there are 31 photos...*

 

Ok, for real, wasn't that something to see????  I truly loved this exhibit (I'm an exhibit-kinda girl, but I really did love this one).  The last photo features a life size photo of his hand - I put my hand in it and it was just swallowed up!  I hope you enjoyed this slice of Chicago; there's more, I took more photos that day that I love, but for today, sharing "Open Air" with you is enough to make my day brighter.  I forgot to tie it all back to the post- this is just one reason that Chicago is my kind of town - free exhibits for the public to enjoy!

So what's special about your hometown (or your current town if you have relocated)?  Share it with me, would love to know!  Holla @ Darvi.  Have a wonderful Wednesday and Be Blessed!



Sometimes the truth is...

Happy Monday and Labor Day to you, blogland!  I hope that everyone has had a happy and fun holiday weekend.  So yeah, I missed posting on Friday.  It happens.  In fact, lots of things happen, most of which are out of your control (a lesson I keep experiencing time and time again).

I wish I could say that I had some thought-provoking post today - some witty comment on world events or some upbeat motivational piece that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  But the truth is, I don't. 

Today I could care two figs about world events because all I can focus on are the events in my world and they loom larger than life at the moment.  I can't write a motivational piece because today I need someone to motivate me.  Remember that change thing I talked about a few weeks ago and how much I didn't like it?  Well, funny thing about life; things have changed even more than I initially thought they would and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me.  So today I gots nothing.

Sometimes the truth is that you just feel blah.  That is probably the understatement of the year, but it's the best I have right now.  I'm actually not sure when I'll post again because I have to wrap my head around these latest of life changes. 

I'm not sure who actually reads this stuff, I just write.  To the people out there who do read, thank you.  And might I trouble you to pray for me and my children and that some good comes out of all of this change?  Thank you in advance for that.

And just so this entire post isn't doom and gloom (even though that's how I personally feel at the moment), check out these beautiful photos I took last Thursday from the vantage point of the Field Museum in the south loop. Now, I took them with my crap cell phone because my latest camera was broken a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to replace it, but I still think they came out pretty good:

The Chicago Skyline

 

Navy Pier and Monroe Harbor

 

A boat in the distance on Lake Michigan

 

 

See?  Even though I feel blah today, these photos make me smile a teensy, tiny bit. 

 

No question, just have a great week everyone.

 

xoxoxo

 

~ Darvi

 

I don't like change...

Happy Friday to you all!  This weekend I am looking forward to celebrating my friend C-Rob's entry into Club 40!!!  She is such an awesome person and I hope she has the best birthday ever!!! 

I remember when I turned 40.  For the two years leading up to 40, I was so looking forward to it, planned a HUGE celebration and was looking forward to the next chapter of my life.  Until the week of my actual 40th birthday came.  That week found me super down, doubting myself and the many life choices I had made up to that point, and just dreading my birthday.  I felt like I wanted to go to sleep on the eve of my birthday and not wake up until the day after.  I had planned all this stuff and I didn't want to see anybody.  I just wanted to curl up in my bed and watch television.  That's when it first hit me - I don't like change.

I have never been fond of change, yet I've had to endure constant change during my life.  I had to change houses when we had a fire at our house when I was 8 and move to my grandparents house.  I had to adjust to wearing glasses in the 4th grade when rarely anyone else did.  I had to change schools in 6th grade to go to a new school, with new people, in a new neighborhood and take a bus.  My whole world changed when I went off to college.  My world changed again when I graduated from college and came back home to attend law school.  My world changed yet again when I got engaged, got married, bought a house and had a baby.  You get the idea.  Change happens. And yet, I'm almost never prepared for it and fight it every step of the way.

What is change?  Change is defined on dictionary.com as "to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion."  See the full definition here.  So I suppose it would look something like this in picture form:

Now, I'm not a moron. I understand that everything changes and everything has to change.  It just takes me a while to adapt to it and I don't like it.  I also don't like reprogramming my kids for whatever new change lies ahead.  It simply makes me tired...

Let's take moving as an example.  In my life, I've moved 16 times (this includes moving each year for college).  In the past 6 years, I've moved 2 times and am gearing up for another move now.  That's a lot of packing and unpacking.  It's also an adjustment to a new neighborhood, a new house and leaves me feeling unsettled.  I think that's the part that I dislike the most. 

There's also changes like watching your kids grow up.  That is the hardest pill to swallow.  When they are babies and small children, you just love them to pieces and pour everything into them.  Then you have to watch them grow up and change into tweens (and that is more than a notion if you have a daughter), then into teens and then prepare yourself for them leaving you and going off to college.  That's where I am now; the Teen is entering his junior year, so the time for him leaving the nest is close at hand.  And I don't like it one bit!  As much as I want him to grow  up and experience life and everything that comes with it, part of me still longs for the little boy who was my pride and joy, my baby.  In short order, I will go through the same thing with the Tween and I can't even begin to process THAT yet! 

But, when the time comes, I will adapt.  That's one of the two things that happens when change comes; you either adapt or you wither and die (not literally, but figuratively).  I just ran across a quote that I think befitting:  "The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists."  ~ Japanese Proverb  I'm striving to be more like the bamboo than the oak.  One of my favorite songs is Everything Must Change by Oleta Adams.  Others have sang it, but her version is my favorite.  She has a beautiful voice; you can listen to it here. 

So as I gear up to enter yet another new season in my life and the inevitable change it brings, I hope to embrace it rather than resist it.  At the end, I want it to look something like this:

 

I hope you will pray for me and wish me luck.  My mantra for this time of change is the serenity prayer; maybe it will help you as you go through your own seasons of change.

Am I the only one facing change?  Holla @ Darvi! Be Blessed and have a great weekend!!!