Hello, 2016!

Happy New Year, Blogland!  Like the graphic?  It is from "Graphics by Pininkie at Mygrafico."  I thought it was pretty cute!  The end of 2015 found me in church with the tween (she had to dance at Watch Night Service).  It was the first time in a long time that I brought in the new year at church (I wanna say the last time was NYE 2003...)!  The young people did a wonderful job!  We were home before 12:30 and I didn't even try to stay up much later than that.  Times have definitely changed...

The end of 2015 was bittersweet in so many ways; if you will allow me to be transparent for just a moment.  This week has been a tough one.  Number 1, my heart is heavy for my friends/family who lost loved ones this week (right after Christmas and before the new year came).  So often we take for granted the things we "plan," often forgetting that the future doesn't belong to us... The worse part of it all is that each of these lost loved ones were only a year or two older than I am; no one was older than 50.  That is very sobering to me- this thing called life can be very fleeting...  And I just found out Natalie Cole died!  

Number 2, my heart is heavy for all that I have lost over the past few years in this season of loss in my life.  I don't do change well (remember that?  I wrote about it here).  I have been in this season of loss for 10 years now.  There have been big losses as well as little losses. The losses have been relational, personal, health, material, financial, professional, friendships, my grandma - you name it, I've lost it!  Some of those losses have knocked me down (on the inside, sometimes physically manifest on the outside).  And as difficult as it's been, I keep getting back up to try and pull it back together just one more time.  Although each time it seems like I stay down a little longer, I keep getting back up.  That could mean many things:  that I am a fool or a glutton for punishment or maybe, just maybe there's something better out there if I keep pressing on.  A lot of times I do feel foolish and I just want to quit and I let myself have a pity party for a few (kinda like now) but eventually, I get back up.  For as down as I might be, there is something in me that won't stop believing that there is "better" and that I can have it!

2015 was a year filled with some low-lows. I can't say high-highs; just mid-range highs.  I am happy to see it go, quite frankly.  There were lots of lessons learned, some I didn't want to learn, but they came anyway, whether I wanted them or not.  My beliefs were tested and some shattered.  My world was shattered and I'm still picking up the pieces and trying to find the glue to put it back together in a way that fits for what my life looks like now.  Let me be honest- it's downright frightening!  And what makes it even more frightening is that there are two not so little people looking at me to see how I manage all of this (the tween and teen) because surely that will shape how they manage hurts, disappointments, change and loss in their own lives.  For with each loss that I have had, it has affected them too.  And more than anything, I want them to be ok...

So here we are, on the first day of 2016, and all is quiet in my house.  Literally the only sound is me pecking away at this keyboard, and I'm doing that from the comfort of my bed! My mind and my emotions are all over the place - I've put off thinking and writing because I've been trying to get a handle on it all!  And it's just hard.  I was so disappointed in 2015 that I'm almost afraid to want anything in 2016 but survival.  There are things I want, sure, but I've been beat down so much that I'm scared to even put them in the universe lest they be taken away from me too...which is certainly not how I intended to start the year, but it's how I feel at this particular time.  That being said, I'm not quite ready to say any of that stuff yet, but I might be tomorrow - depends on how the rest of today pans out (real talk).  

All of which brings me to my 2016 Word of the Year.  For the past 10 years, a group of friends and I have participated in the One Little Word Challenge.  I originally learned of this in 2006 from Creating Keepsakes Magazine (one of my favorite scrapbooking magazines that has since gone on to glory) and we started doing it in 2007.  The concept is that you choose a word at the end of the previous year or beginning of the new year to guide and reflect on throughout the year as you go about this thing called life.  The concept was coined by Ali Edwards, and you can read more about it here.  Something that she wrote I wanna share here:  

"A single word can be a powerful thing... It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything.  It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow."  

I encourage you to go read the post, google it, and maybe you will be inspired to choose a word for your year.  Anyway, I've been doing this since 2007 and some years my words were spot on, other years I missed them like the Cubs missed going to the world series last year!  But, good, bad and otherwise, here are my past words:

2007 - Transition

2008 - Perseverance

2009 - Optimism

2010 - Reality

2011 - Renewal

2012 - Excel

2013 - Embrace

2014 - Restore

2015 - Be...

 And without further ado, my word for 2016 is:  WISDOM.  

Wisdom is defined as the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.  Webster's defines it as knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life; the natural ability to understand things that most other people cannot understand; the knowledge of what is proper or reasonable.  That's how I want to live 2016- as a wise woman.  One who has learned from her many life experiences and applies those lessons to her current life.  My grandmother was a wise woman and I strive to be like her, when it's all said and done.

That's it, that's all.  2016, we are here!  Ready to tackle all that you throw our way (I think)! So what about you - anyone else do a Word of the Year/One Little Word Challenge and is willing to share your word here?  You know the drill, Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed and enjoy this first day of the new year!

xoxoxo