While You're Waiting...

Happy Friday, Blogland!  I hope that the Autumn season has been kind to you all!  There's been all sorts of things happening around these parts!  The teen got an early admission and partial scholarship into his first choice college, so I'm gonna be an HBCU Mom!  He also got his driver's license (finally!).  The tween got promoted to honors math and is taking high school level Spanish. So the kids are doing ok (we still have some challenges, but they are ok).  October has been especially busy; unfortunately, I have not been able to squeeze in a Family Fall Outing (but I may be able to sneak one in on Sunday afternoon; we shall see).  It's my second favorite time of the year (Spring is my favorite); I love to watch the leaves change colors.  Here is one of my favorite fall photos:

Anyhoo, y'all know I'm from the Chicago area, right?  Something major is going on up this way - the Cubs are in the World Series!!! Hasn't happened in, well, let's just say a few years... I snapped this photo the other day to show how Chicago was celebrating:

And last but not least, last Saturday would have been my dear grandmother's 99th birthday if she were still living.  It wasn't a sad day; I spent a lot of it just reflecting on her and her legacy.  She loved baseball and would sincerely be over the moon about the the Cubs in the World Series right now!

But, onto our topic (side note:  I hate when I haven't written in awhile; I have so much to catch you all up on and then these posts are incredibly lengthy!  Working on it... I promise!). I have a confession to make:  I. HATE. WAITING.  Ok, wait. Hate is such a strong word. How about this:  I'm not very good at waiting.  Now, I can wait reasonable amounts of time in line, at a restaurant, to vote, to get a gas pump.  But in general?  I just really have a hard time waiting.  Case-in-point:  last week I sent my friend a text message and when I didn't get a response in about 20 minutes, I sent back this:  "Uh, hello?"  And he (gently) reminded me that he was, as I was, in the process of leaving for work and getting those things done and called me impatient. All I could do was laugh, because it's certainly the truth.  I'm not as bad as the man in the Fifth Third commercials (have you seen it?) but still, I'm not a very patient person.  Not even, dare I say it?  With God.

Yeah, I said it.  Look at me, owning my truth!  I am not patient, not even when I'm waiting on God.  Now this isn't all of the time, but it certainly happens when I figure, in my own mind, that it has been long enough and surely He has come to a decision by now!  I know, laughable, right?  But let me give you a very real example.  So, it's been a whopping 1186 days, or, 3 years, 2 months and 28 days since I lost my job (I didn't know those exact numbers, had to use Google to find a calculator for it).  And I'm no closer this year to having a full-time gig than I was a year ago, two years ago or even three years ago.  It's been very frustrating, but also a situation that fuels my impatience.  Because you see, I figure that He has had enough time to move mountains and send me a job!  But, it just hasn't happened like that.  And I won't lie, I am at the edge of worry about the whole thing, because, let's face it, that's a mighty long time to not have a steady income in your household, right?  But, on the other hand, He hasn't failed me yet, so why would he start now?  The Lord's prayer reminds us to ask for our "daily bread" - remember that post?  Here it is if you need a refresher.  So I try to remember that and not worry about days that haven't come and just focus on each new day.

But what do you do while you're waiting?  Real talk - what do you do?  When you look around and it seems like everyone else is getting a new job, a new house, a new car, engaged (and you can't even keep a boyfriend/girlfriend), pregnant, travelling - it can make you feel bad or worse, it can spark feelings of envy or resentment, especially if you feel you are just as "___" fill in the blank as they are.  Bottom line?  You want to know when it's going to be your turn.  Or worse still, you think that God has forgotten about you.  And your shoulders slump and you just want to give up.

This here thing?  I'm speaking from experience.  I've felt all of those things, even as recently as yesterday.  True story, I was on social media, scrolling down my timeline, and ran across a friend celebrating an anniversary and while I was happy for them, I felt some kind of way. Why? Because I'm divorced, and the marriage I thought I would have had by now didn't happen and because I want to celebrate anniversaries too, darn it!  Funny, but true.  

So for real, what should you be doing while you are waiting for your breakthrough, blessing, miracle, testimony, answered prayer - whatever you call it - what should you be doing while you are waiting????  I'm pretty sure that feeling envious and resentful aren't on the list, although those are both very real emotions for when you feel that God has forgotten you. Ouch.  Who wants to feel like they are forgotten?  Unloved?  Abandoned?  No one!  It's not a good feeling at all!  

Know that God doesn't want you to feel those things either; those negative feelings are the trick of the enemy to get you off course and to stop you from a) praying and b) believing in the power of your prayers.  Another trick the enemy uses is the trick of comparison, and social media is a powerful tool that feeds into that (hmm, I will write about that another time). You with me?  Stay with me.

The first thing you must do is to remember these things:  1) God never forsakes you.  2) God is good all the time.  3) Nothing is impossible if you believe.  4) God's word endures forever.  5) It's ALWAYS God's timing, and not yours.  6) Continue to pray. 7) Trust God no matter the circumstances.  8) Stand firmly on his promises.  9) Never give up or give in. 10) Give God praise while you're still waiting on the answers to your prayers.  I also found a blog post devoted to this very topic, entitled "Helpful Ways to Wait on God When You Don't Want To," that did an excellent job of providing some Do's and Don'ts.  You can read it here.

All this is well and good, right?  But the reality is that while you are praying, you will need to add some scriptures to those prayers to help you to stand firm in your faith.  Here are are few you can use for that purpose (these should go right in your war room - whether that's a closet, poster board or notebook):

Psalm 37:7-  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him (NIV).

Psalm 27:13-14- I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord (NIV).

James 1:12 - Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him (NIV).

Hebrews 6:15 - And so, after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised (NIV).

Hosea 6:3 - Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him.  As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth (NIV).

Psalm 13:5 - But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation (NIV).

Psalm 62:5 - Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him (NIV).

1 Peter 5:10 - And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast (NIV).

Last week, I was listening to Steve Harvey on the radio ('round about 5 am, at the beginning of his show, he provides some very real, spiritual motivation for his listeners), and he said something so profound that I had to make a voice note so that I wouldn't forget what he was saying.  What did he say?  Here it is:  "Pray for strength for the journey while you are waiting.  Don't get knocked off course because oftentimes the blessing comes after the test.  Don't pray for obstacles to be removed, because they are part of the journey.  Both the heavens and the imps hear your prayers, and they will try to knock you off course."  How about I was ready to shout in my car???

I was sharing some of my anxieties with a friend yesterday over email, and she wrote back to me:  "Remember delayed is not denied God is working on some things in your life. God see & know everything you're going through and if you just hold on things will change for your good. God want to do a new thing in your life and a fresh thing in you. You must be grounded to realize the season you're about to come into."  It brought tears to my eyes, and just confirmed that I was supposed to write this post (the topic came to me a few weeks ago but I'm just getting around to it) and also gave me the will to go on just one more day.  

Last, but not least, I found a prayer on Pinterest (yes, Pinterest) that I encourage you to put in your war room as well (I certainly intend to).  It is originally from here, https://heathercking.org/, and it is called "A Prayer for When You Are Waiting" and it goes like this:

My Father,

I know I am impatient, so prone to worry, to give up, to lose hope.

Help me to rest in Your promises today.

In this season of waiting, renew my joy in this moment so that I do not miss Your presence in this place.  Thank You for being with me and for never giving up on me.  Thank You for always working for my good and for Your glory even when I can't see.  

In Jesus' name, Amen.

So hold on just a little while longer and wait on the Lord.  I'm waiting - and praising Him while I do.  What about you?  You know what to do - Holla @ Darvi and let me know what you do while you're waiting!  Have a wonderful weekend and as always, be blessed.  Here's some music to take us out:

xoxoxo 

~ Darvi

Adjusting to Suddenly...

Greetings, Blogland!  I will apologize for not being more consistent this year, but if I can just be my usual transparent self for a minute… For one thing, there’s been so much going on that both makes me happy and that has broken my heart (personally as well as in our turbulent world) and I do have a partially written post about all of that.  But seriously? For real, for real?  I’ve been hurt and angry, and busy and bitter.  I’m pretty sure that’s not what you were expecting to read, huh?  But, it’s the truth.  Before I go further, let me say this - to my readers who actually know me in real life, I hope that you can read without judging; this is me talking about where I am, not disparaging anyone else.  K?  Great, let's keep going.

You see, the days after my last post marked a year since life as I knew it changed (I want to be dramatic and say "forever," but of course I don't know that. I only know what it felt like at that time, but I digress - as usual), and I fell into a severe funk.  The move, the feelings, the uncertainty, the abandonment, the memories, the feelings, the tears - they all came back. And not in a just for a moment and you move on kind of way.  No, it was like I was reliving it all over again and let me tell you, it has been awful!  What's worse is that it's not something you can just share with anyone, because people feel like after a year you should be well-adjusted and "ok." But who determines what is "ok" and how long it takes you to get there????

Approximately a week after my last post, my cousin died - suddenly.  There was no lengthy illness, no prognosis and no warning.  One minute he was here and then, suddenly, he wasn't.  And we've struggled with it.  I'm sure no one has struggled more than his wife and daughter, but it impacted us all.  I can honestly say that the full weight of it didn't hit me until the funeral last Friday. I have an aversion to funerals, ever since my grandmother died, I can't fully explain it, but I'll try.  When it's a member of my family, there is a terror that grips me the moment I pull up to the church.  As I get closer to the church, I start breathing hard. Before I walk in, I have to take a deep breath and talk myself into actually going in.  Pause again in the foyer, take another deep breath before walking inside.  To get to the front where the rest of my family was assembled, I had to walk down a long aisle and the whole time, there was a conversation going on in my head, where I willed myself to keep walking and to not duck out before anyone saw me (I purposely skipped the wake and the group family walk in thing).  I stopped short of going all the way to the front; I settled on the third row back. Too late, my cousin saw me and had me move up, closer to the fold.  So I did, ended up sitting behind my mother and aunt, who were on the first row.  

My cousin was a military man (USMC) and a policeman. The photo above is the keepsake that was given to his wife at the repast by the Village he served for 21 years. Flanking the (beautiful) casket were two photos that had been blown up to poster size; his boot camp photo from 1977 and his police officer photo.  I tried to concentrate on the singing, the words being spoken, but I ended up just looking at the ceiling and trying not to have a full scale panic attack.  I did alright for awhile, then it was just too much and I needed an escape to collect myself. I went out and found one of my first cousins in the foyer, unable to walk back in.  Eventually we did, arms linked and leaning on one another.  What had us so messed up?  I'll tell you. It was looking around at our little family cluster and knowing that it wouldn't be long before we'd be back again and that it never gets any easier.  

Anyway, the minister who gave the eulogy being apprised of the circumstances surrounding my cousin's life and sudden death, aptly titled his sermon "How do we adjust to suddenly?" That caught my attention, and as he spoke, the wheels started turning in my head and I took my phone out and started making notes (that's been happening a lot lately, probably seriously weirded my cousin out), I figured I could use them for something later (and here we are).  This is what he said in reference to my cousin:  don't allow grief to be the representation of his life; don't allow grief to tarnish who he was or take it into our future. Instead, he told us to stand on his legacy and memories.  He really had my attention now. He used Romans 8:18 to encourage us to look towards the future:  "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" (NIV). He further encouraged us to always thank God, even when we don't understand the "suddenly."  Psalm 34:1 says:  "I will extol the Lord at all times, his praise will always be on my lips" (NIV). Then he said perhaps the most profound thing of all, the thing that has had me thinking for the past five days - he said, "don't let a moment convince you that there's no God."  

Whoa.  That was deep, right?  I mean, nobody really does that, do they? I don't do that, do I????  That's what has been on my mind and I've come to the conclusion that yeah, maybe I have.  Just a wee bit.  Not in a my whole worldview has been shattered and the foundation of my faith is shattered kind of way, naw, not like that.  But, if I'm being honest (and that's what we do, right?), I have to admit that at certain moments, the "suddenlys," if you will, I may have had the question of whether He saw me.  Whether, in this huge world with all that's going on, He actually had time to see and hear me too.  

Am I the only one??? I'm talking about the times when a suddenly or two comes up on you and you don't have time to catch your breath and you're in a corner with your back against the wall and you have a constant stream of tears rolling down your face and you are full of fear and panic, and you can barely even get the words to a prayer out in between your sobs - those kind of suddenlys. Because you see, framily, those are the kinds of suddenlys I've had.  The kind of suddenlys that make you cry yourself to sleep, then wake up with a fresh set of tears that have you in sunglasses and reapplying your eye makeup in the office bathroom, only to cry it back off throughout the day.  Job loss?  Suddenly.  Relationship loss?  Suddenly.  Friendship loss?  Suddenly.  Pulling the last few dollars from your savings account and you have no further resources?  Suddenly.  The loss of a loved one? Suddenly. When you really and truly don't know what to do, it could be very easy to fall in the mindset that there is no God or that He has forgotten about you.    

And you know what?  That is just what the enemy wants you to believe, that you don't matter, that you are not important and that He doesn't have time to worry about little old you. Don't believe it!  The word says, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV). Maybe you weren't destined to be a prophet like Jeremiah, but the point is that, He knew us all befor we were born, and He has a plan for us, even in the midst of suddenly.  "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."  Luke 12:7 (NIV).  If you're like me, you've probably heard that verse many times, but maybe you never understood the full weight of what it actually means.  It means that He cares about you so much that He knows how many hairs are on your head, and that you are worth to him than whole groups of His other creations (paraphrasing of course)!  It means that, like the Israel and New Breed song, you are NOT forgotten, God knows your name!  Great spot for a song, don'tcha think?  Go check out the song, you know you wanna!   

What a great song, right?  It always makes me happy!  And it reminds me.  Even in the bad times.  Because here's the flip side, just as a "suddenly" can change things for worse, a suddenly can also change things for good.  Don't believe me?  Let's look at 2 Chronicles 29:36:  "And Hezekiah rejoiced, and all the people, that God had prepared the people: for the thing was done suddenly." (KJV); "Hezekiah and all the people rejoiced at what God had brought about for his people, because it was done so quickly" (NIV).  Or how about in Matthew 15 where the Canaanite woman approached Jesus for help because her daughter was demon possessed; and Jesus replied that it was not right to tkae the children's bread and toss it to the dogs. Her response was that even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table.  And in verse 28, Jesus answered:  "Woman, you have great faith!  Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed at that moment (NIV) or "suddenly" if you're reading KJV.  

All well and good, right?  How does this apply in your real life?  Heck, in my real life? I'm glad you asked!  What it means is that we shoudn't lose hope in the face of tragedies that suddenly occur, whether in our own personal lives or in the world.  God is still God despite the bad.  Instead, we are to keep our praise always (in the words of one of my favorite Fred Hammond songs) - may as well drop it here, right?  Here you go:

And know that just as suddenly as tragedy happens, God can open the floodgates of heaven and bless you beyond what you could ever imagine!  From job loss and unemployment to multiple job offers! From relationship loss to a better relationship! From friendship loss to new friends that truly understand the true meaning of friendship! From the loss of a loved one to the birth of a new loved one (true story, my nephew was born a year to the day after my grandmother's death).  

But we still haven't answered the question, have we?  The question posed by the minister and inherent in the title of this post - How do we adjust to suddenly?  My answer can be summed up like this:  getting into God's word for direction and trust.  And here is my scriptural authority:

Psalm 119:105:  "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (NIV)

and

Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight" (NIV) or "He will direct your path" for the KJV people.  

It's not easy, not by a long shot.  But, every day is a new day to try again.  And who knows? Today could just be the day that your "suddenly" comes!

Anybody else out there either adjusting to a suddenly or suddenly been blessed?  Holla @ Darvi and let's talk about it!!!  Be Blessed! xoxoxoxo

Farewell, Cousin Felton!  I'm glad God saw fit to have us be family.  Your legacy of serving and protecting will live on.