What's in a name???

Annnnd it's Wednesday - good day people, good day!  So the Chicago area has been SWELTERING for the past few days (although I dare not complain as winter is surely a'coming and faster than I would like)... Sometimes the first thing people miss in the heat is staying hydrated - so please lay off the sugary drinks and make sure you drink plenty of water.  That's my PSA for the day.

So today we're going to talk about names.  Not as in baby names (although I do fondly remember those days), but more along the lines of what your name says about you.  That was the subject of the eulogy at Mrs. Harris' funeral that I attended over the weekend and it's stuck with me ever since.

When it comes to names, I've had a love-hate relationship with mine.  As a child, it was very difficult living with a nine-letter name that your mother had made up as opposed to just opening a book and chose.  It was a mouthful to say and to this day, whenever I'm in a new environment, I always know when people get to my name because they pause to try and wrap their minds around the pronunciation of it.  My response?  I usually smile and say "that's me."  Then when asked, I say it for them and immediately shorten it to my nickname to make it easier for them.  They are, more often than not, visibly relieved for the reprieve...
As I've gotten older, I've embraced my name and the time that my mother took to really think about it all and giving me such a unique name - thanks, mom!  I am almost 100% guaranteed to NEVER run into anyone with the same name in any setting; it belongs to me and me alone. 

But even acknowledging that, the question remains - what's in a name?  I'm talking beyond the superficial cuteness of the name or your different spelling of a common name.  I even mean beyond what society has determined that your particular name means (and if you want to check yours, you can do so here).  What I'm talking about is the real nitty-gritty; as in when people hear your name, what does it mean to them. 

Ouch.  Yeah, I know that for some people, that is a matter that they don't even want to think about.  But the reality is, whether you think about it or not, it is a valid assessment and it will be made, with or without your permission. 

I grew up in my grandparents' house on the far south side of Chicago.  My grandmother was the matriarch of our family (both sides, imagine that!).  Additionally, she was very active in her church, serving continually on the board of trustees, the missionary board and until her death in 2010, as the "Church Mother" (some of y'all have no IDEA what that is, lol!).  Besides all that, she served as a confidant, friend and advisor to many people far and wide.  Reflecting on my life in my grandparents' house (I lived there from 1979-1995), there are several things that stick out:

1) Our door was always open.  Literally.  As in our front door was unlocked from 9am- 10pm every single day.  That used to freak me out sometimes, but in reflection I understand that it was two-fold:  a) my grandmother's name carried so much weight in our community that no one was going to enter our door for harm and b) the door was always open and anyone was welcome to enter.

2) Many people relied on the advice and counsel of my grandmother:  relatives, friends, neighbors, church members, past co-workers, her children, their friends, her grandchildren and their friends.  At her funeral, person after person stood up and said how they had a personal relationship with her, how wise she was and how she gave advice without judgment, no matter what the circumstance.  She logged many, many hours on her phone talking to people late into the night about whatever issues they were sorting through, again, without judgment but just offering advice.

3) One could always gather 'round our table for a meal, family or not.  If you walked through our open door for some of her advice around dinner time, you were going to be offered a plate.  Now, we weren't rich or even middle class (got that rude awakening in high school, but I digress), but we always had food on the table and a plate to share (it may have been mismatched, but it was a plate).  I watched my cousins' friends enjoy the holidays with us, and as I grew up and brought friends over during high school and college, they joined us at the table also.

I hope you see where I'm going with this - the value of a name.  My grandmother had a good name.  It meant something, no matter what circle she was in.  It meant something on our street - no one was going to bother "Ms. Givens" (because no one could figure out how to pronounce our last name, lol!  For the record, it is spelled Givhan and pronounced "Give-ahn").  Additionally, everyone knew that they could go to Ms. Givens' house and get a meal, get a few dollars, or get a ride.  At church, everyone knew they could count on Mother Givens to support the ministry, to be fair and decisive on the trustee board, that she could be trusted with the money and that she would give sound counsel without judging.  So when she became sick and subsequently died, we were flooded with visits, calls, food, cards and money from all of the people she had touched during her life.  Most of them always led with the same thing:  "I heard and just had to come and see about Ms./Sister/Mother Givens."  At the funeral, there was standing room only and even the vestibule was full of people who felt that they just had to come and pay their respects to Ms./Sister/Mother Givens. 

I felt good and proud to be related to such a person; someone whose name alone held such esteem and value in her community.  People still ask me if I'm "Ms./Sister/Mother Givens'" granddaughter.  And I always smile and say yes, knowing that is a good thing.

It's also how I felt while sitting at Mrs. Harris' funeral on Saturday and listening to her family, her daughter's friends, her church family and the eulogy.  Mrs. Harris had a good name - it was epitomized by how she carried herself:  in kindness, in gentleness, with a smile, through helping others - all characteristics that will live on longer than she did.

This is also something I've spent more and more time thinking about as I get older - what does my name mean?  I've done good things, great things even, and some not so good things.  I've had successes and failures.  I've given kind words and I've given harsh words.  Yep, I'm pretty much human, just like everyone else!  But the real question is what will the lasting effects of my name mean, and that's what I try to work on every day.  I work daily on doing more good than bad things, having more successes than failures and more kind words as opposed to the sometimes harsher words that are having a party in my head!  I am a work in progress!  But know that I am working...

I've said all of this to make one simple statement:  you control what your name means.  You alone.  Even if it is less than you want it to mean at this moment I have good news:  you still have time to change that!  Every day that you wake up is a new opportunity to work on changing it.  So if your name currently means bad attitude, selfishness and negativity, you can change it to pleasant, generous and upbeat.  If you are the type of person who makes people cringe when you walk into a room, you can work on becoming a person that everyone is happy to see.  If your name is associated with dishonesty and untrustworthiness, you can change that too.  At the end of the day, it's all up to you.  Know that your name is indeed your legacy.  So I ask you - what's in YOUR name???

Has anyone else ever thought about this or am I by myself? Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed!

          

When you need a little break...

Happy Monday! 

Yes, I realize that Monday is almost over and that I have totally missed my regularly scheduled posting.  Truth?  I have had an emotional two weeks and the time that I normally set aside to write just didn't happen and so I got behind.  Yep, it happens.  So, this post is actually being written in real time and not ahead of time (as many of them are).

For the past two weeks, the media has been full of images and news stories about the deaths of Sandra Bland, Kindra Chapman and Samuel Dubose,  and other emotional-filled events (including the very recent deaths of Bobbi Kristina Brown as well as Sherman Hemsley).  The death of Sandra Bland has been particularly emotional as she was my sorority sister and I just feel some kind of way about the police violence.  And I had all this stuff planned that I wanted to write concerning it, but I'm still sorting out my emotions.  So, that's not this post.  But it will come - soon.  To add more emotions to the mix, I attended the funeral of a very nice older woman who I used to work with who died less than 8 weeks after being diagnosed with bone cancer.  Add my regular assortment of day-to-day stressors to the mix and I needed a break!!!

So today, we won't talk about anything heavy.  Instead, I'm just gonna share with you some things I worked on/got ahold of recently that made me happy and gave me a much needed break.  So into Darvi's happy place we go:

1)  Books.  I've finished reading three more books:  Seven Year Switch by Claire Cook, The Hurricane Sisters by Dorothea Benton Frank, and Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close.  Reading is one of my favorite de-stressors!  Here are the books (forgive the dark photos, wasn't planning to use these photos here):

 

 

2) New crafty goodies:  I got some new beads in the mail that I ordered from Dollar Bead and just the sight of them made me happy!  You be the judge:

 

Yes!!! Can't wait to play with those babies!

 

3) Last week I spent a lot of time outside on the forest preserve trail.  I try to go first thing in the morning after I've dropped the Teen off at work.  It's 3.6 miles long, and I just put on my headphones and walk, talk to God, think (and sometimes sing out loud!).  Another thing I do sometimes while I'm out there is take photos of interesting things I see.  So here's what I saw last week:

 

Real live sunflowers!

 

Bull rushes and a marsh!

   

Random day lilies - I love those!

                   

Just liked these flowers!

                                





4) Helping my friend with her 40th birthday invites and using an old technique, embossing:


  Preparing for my first cut...

 

 Post-cutting and punched into circles...

   Stamping my image with the embossing ink...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pouring the embossing powder over the stamped image (it's been a long time, had to practice first)...

Testing out the embossing...

Success!  I still have it...

And here is an actual embossed circle! 


 

  Last but not least, the finished product!

 

 

5) Worked on a wall hanging project for the grandbaby (got another one to do for the new baby):

 

 

 

I LOVED how this turned out!!!

 

 

6) I made sure to go to church yesterday.  I really needed to be refreshed and my pastor gave a very inspiring message about friends.  And oh how I do appreciate and love mine!  (I'm sure that will be a post eventually).

 

Yes, this post was full of fluff, but the fact is that sometimes we just need to take a break from all of the bad news, bad times and just everyday stressors and find our happy place.  Not saying that going to your happy place solves anything, but you should definitely leave happier, lighter than when you arrived.  I needed a break and so I took one.  What am I saying?  Find your happy place, whatever strikes your fancy, and make sure that you GO THERE! 

 

So what do you do when you need a break?  Holla @ Darvi and let me know!  As always, be blessed!

 



 





Check Ya Girls!

Every woman over 40 has a particular doctor's appointment that fills them with dread and trepidation - - the dreaded mammogram.  Or, as I like to call it, the annual boob smashing!

Now, I started having mammograms in my mid-30s because my grandmother had breast cancer so all of my female family members had to start having baseline mammograms at that age.  So one would think that I'd be used to it after 10 years.  But guess what?  Not so much...

So anyway, I hustle on over to the Advocate Center for Breast Care, an affiliate of Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn: 

When I arrived, I was greeted as usual and informed that I was slated to have my mammogram done with the new 3D machine.  The rep explained that the 3D machine took photos more like a CT scan and would give the doctor a more complete reading.  I was very impressed!  When I got to the exam room, I asked the technician if it would be ok for me to take some pictures of the new machine to use in a blog post.  She agreed, so I snagged a few photos before my exam:

Now those of you who know, the exam itself is a bit uncomfortable, but not painful. Unfortunately, that part hasn't changed.  But, with the new 3D machine, I noticed that we didn't have to redo any scans because it moved back and forth twice to get a full picture. After the exam, the technician gave me a handout about the machine, which uses Genius 3D mammography and is manufactured by Hologic.  According to the handout, the 3D mammogram "detects 41% more invasive breast cancers and reduces false positives by up to 40%."  It is also "the first and only clinically superior 3D mammography approved by the FDA."  Very cutting edge technology and I'm glad that Advocate CMC is using it.  More info here.  

Why am I telling you all of this?  Because it is a very important screening that many women don't have done for various reasons.  Although I am vigilant because there is a history of breast cancer in my immediate family, 8 out of 9 diagnosed women have no family history of breast cancer.  It is proven that early detection saves lives. Early detection is the key.  So go check ya girls!  No excuses!

So have YOU checked ya girls yet this year?  Questions or comments?  Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed!!!

My first professional soccer game - Go Chicago Fire!!!

Hump day, hump day!  

Ah, so it is Wednesday and summer continues in Chicago!  The best part about summer is all of the wonderful outdoor activities going on in the Chicago area: food festivals, jazz in the grass, walking and boat tours, golf, music and arts festivals, races, drive-in movies, picnics and sporting events. Summertime in Chicago is truly a wonderful thing; we have a beautiful city!

So far this summer I have been to some picnics (see my post on the Chosen Few picnic here), played in a golf outing (see my post on the Omega Open here), and participated in my first 5k (see my post on the Divine Nine 5k here), among other things.  A surprise outing a few weeks ago was to my first professional soccer game featuring our very own Chicago Fire.  

We were invited to go to the game because our little niece, who plays in a soccer league, was going to be on the field before the game during the national anthem and she walked one of the Fire players onto the field!  She was uber excited and I was excited for her.  So off we all went to the game.  

Here is her little cute self (she's wearing the pink socks):

It was my first (professional) soccer game; I have done my stint as a soccer mom to the Teen and Tween so I wasn't unfamiliar with the game, just meaning it was the first time I've seen it played well.  (Not that the kids weren't cute, but watching a bunch of toddlers run around in the grass very early on a Saturday morning, sometimes in the rain is not my idea of fun!  I recall once when the Teen was little and playing soccer all of the kids stopped playing in the middle of the game to chase a butterfly.  But, I digress...)  And what did I learn?  Soccer games can go a really long time without either team scoring!  

The game was on July 11th and the Fire played the Seattle Sounders.  There was such excitement in the air and it was crowded!  We were seated near the Seattle peanut gallery who were excitedly cheering for their team and diss chanting (is that a word?  if not, add to the growing list of Darvisms) us!  Like I said though, the game went a long time without scoring.  There were lots of near scores for both teams, but no cigar until overtime.  There was such a charge of electricity in the air, you couldn't help but be excited too!  

I learned several things that night:  

1) Soccer games do NOT stop the clock!  Not for injuries or anything.  I was shocked at first, but then someone explained to me that they add time to the end of the game for all the momentary pauses during play.  They added 5 minutes to this particular game and we won during the over time!  Go, Fire!

2) Soccer players are very hardy athletes!  They got hit, knocked down, kicked, stomped on, chest butted, and hit that hard ball off the tops of their heads several times and just got up, shook it off and kept playing.  Go soccer players!

3) Soccer is actually a very diverse sport.  I had no idea; that might inspire me to pay a wee bit more attention to professional soccer.

4) You can't take an umbrella into the stadium.  Learned that one as I was going into the checkpoint to enter.  Apparently, you can't take anything in that could possibly be thrown onto the field.  You also can't have tops on your water bottles (even those purchased inside the stadium).  Who knew?

5) Sometimes the Chicago Fire peanut gallery is pretty lame... this was the case on the night we went.  They were being trumped all night by the Seattle peanut gallery, boo, hiss!

6) Tailgating at a soccer game is EPIC!  Again, I had no idea!  I want to go back just to tailgate!

7) Bumper soccer during the intermission is the funniest thing ever!!!

8) There will be fireworks at a Chicago Fire game.  Do not be alarmed, lol!

9) Leaving a soccer game at the end can take a looooonnnng time!  We sat around the parking lot for awhile before we attempted to leave, and it still took awhile to actually get out of the lot, and then we were rerouted.  So be patient!

Photos?  You know I have photos!  Take a look:

   

So am I the only professional soccer newbie?  What's your home team?  Holla @ Darvi!  Be blessed!

My first 5k - The Divine Nine 5k: I made it!!!

Happy Monday, everyone!  

So summer has FINALLY arrived in Chicagoland, going from 60-90 in a single bound!  Well played Mother Nature, well played!  

So in the heat yesterday I completed my very first 5k, The Divine Nine 5k! Let me start from the beginning... 

One of many hats I wear these days is the Co-chair of the Community Outreach Committee of the National Panhellenic Council of Chicago (NPHCC).  Learn more about the NPHC here.  At our March meeting, Neecy Roney spoke to the Council about being a sponsor for an event she was planning, The Divine Nine 5k, which we overwhelmingly agreed to do.  As the outreach co-chair, of course I was going to participate!  

The Divine Nine 5k was slated to be a walk/run race that would bring together members, family and friends of the Divine Nine organizations (you can learn more here).  The idea for the race was created by Chicks with Kicks, Inc., Ms. Roney's organization, and ultimately sponsored by Chicks with Kicks, Inc., the NPHCC, Que's Got Sole, State Farm Insurance, At Your Service Home Care, Villa, American Family Insurance and donations from Jewel-Osco. The proceeds from the race will fund scholarships for high school seniors.  (See a theme here with the things I choose to participate in????).

Anyhoo, the race was held on yesterday at the beautiful Montrose Harbor park in Chicago. There were over 400 registrants (not bad for the very first race) and it was an awesome morning!  Two of the objectives of the race were unity and fellowship among the greeks, which definitely occurred. Everyone represented and supported one another.  It was a good day to be greek in Chicago!  There was also an additional opportunity for service in the form of donating gently used shoes to Que's Got Soul, which in turn will donate them to third world countries.  There were also vendors on hand during the post-race celebration, as well as performances from a drum line and a cheer squad.  Great, great morning!  

Each participant received a goodie bag with a t-shirt and other goodies, as well as a racing bib (my first!) and a medal at the completion of the race.  I felt super official once I got my bib, lol!!!  Kudos to the Divine Nine 5k Committee, all of whom worked very hard in putting this race together and their work was evident!  Kudos to the NPHCC for supporting in full force; the kids will appreciate our efforts!  And kudos to all of the participants, because you made it happen!

Am I inspired to do another 5k?  Absolutely!!!  Might even work my way up to a bigger race (uh, not this year though!).  Here are some photos from the race:

Banners:  

The beautiful organizer, Ms. Neecy Roney of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.:

Me, pre-race (with my official race bib), and a group shot of some of my sorors (the ladies of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.) pre-race:

The beautiful Chicago lakefront and skyline:

Race participants/volunteers/sponsors:

I even took a few selfies and photos with folks I haven't seen in awhile:

Me & Angie Porter-Wooten; we went to high school together!!!

 

Me & LaShaun Randle, my Sigma big sister!!!

Me & Teresa Mathis, my picnic/bowling buddy!!!

Me & urban dude!

Me and my soror, Pamela Sanner; my race buddy for the day!!!

Last but not least, at the end of every race, you get the coveted prize; your race medal that says I saw, I ran/walked, I conquered!  Well done, Divine Nine, well done!!!

What about you - have you participated in any races this year?  Are you a newbie like me? Tell me about it - Holla @ Darvi!!!  Be blessed!