One of every parent's worst nightmares...

Happy Monday, blog land.  Hope that everyone had a great weekend. 

Not a lot of fluff today, so going right into today's post.

Nightmares.  Have you ever had a nightmare?  One that jarred you awake in the middle of the night, heart racing, sometimes sweating, disoriented and looking around as you try to calm yourself?  Nightmares so bad you were afraid to go to sleep at night?

It used to happen to me all the time when I was young and foolish and insisted on watching horror movies with my sister.  Let's just say that I learned that lesson for good more than 30 years ago...

But nightmares don't just come from horror movies.  If you're a parent, there are things that happen in this world that can rock you to your core and have you looking around corners during the day.  And those are things that happen to or threaten your children.  A sick child.  A dead child.  A missing child.

Separation from your child in a public place, especially when they are very small, is one of the most terrifying things that can ever happen to you as a parent.  Especially when you're a fairly new parent.  There is a panic that overtakes you first, then fear as the seconds turn into minutes.  You backtrack through the store, surreptitiously looking around, your eyes darting from side to side, silently praying as you scan every aisle, looking for your child.  As fast as your heart is beating and as panicked as you are, you try to stay calm as you search.  And usually just before you reach full scale alarm and are on your way to the service desk to have the store placed on lock down, you hear your name over the PA system as a lost parent who should report to the service desk.  You rush to the service desk and let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding, and a sense of relief fills you where panic just lived.  When you get there, you see your baby and you grab them into a big hug.  You check them out first to make sure they are ok and you thank the employees for finding him.  Then while you fuss at them about the dangers of wandering off and for scaring you half to death, you put them inside the back of the cart for safekeeping.  All's well and you continue on your day.

A happy ending to what isn't always a happy story; we all know the horrible things that can and have happened when a child is separated from a parent in this big scary world.  We know that there are bad people in the world who seek these situations (and create them at times) for no other reason than just being evil.  And we know that most of such stories don't have happy endings within a few minutes, if at all.

As your children grow and you can no longer put them in the cart to keep them safe, you still try to keep them tethered to you somehow, so you can keep an eye on them.  That works for awhile, until one day they are teenagers.  At that time, you provide them with cell phones and set curfews so that you do your best to keep them safe, even as they are growing and exploring the world and trying to find their place in it.  But what happens when you can't?

As I sit here writing this at 2:15 am, I am pondering that question.  You see, I am living one of every parent's worst nightmares right now - teenage edition.  The teen has stormed out in a huff after we got on his case and has been missing for about 4 hours now.  It's funny,. no matter how old they are, when they are separated from you, you still go through the same stages you did when they wandered off as preschoolers.  Your breathing is shallow and your heart is beating out of your chest.  You silently plead with God to bring your child home safely.  You wait, hoping they will just turn up.  You drive around and look for them.  You set up camp on the living room sofa, close to the front door with a lamp on, so you can be there when they come back. 

As more time passes, your panic grows.  Three hours in, you break down and finally call the police to file a report.  You find a recent photo of your child to give to the officer - the first one you find is from their last birthday.  In just a few minutes, your kid is now in the LEADS system as missing and you calmly sign the report.  On the inside, you are screaming.  Some tears come, but you wipe them away as you wait.  You sit, you unconsciously rocking back and forth as you wait.  You sit near the front so you can hear them if they come in.  If.  A small word with a host of unmentionable and unthinkable outcomes dangling on the other side of it.  Like I said, one of every parent's worst nightmares...

You figure you should read the bible or something as you wait, but you can't think of anything but the 23rd Psalm.  It doesn't comfort you.  You offer up dozens more prayers for the safe return of your baby while you are nursing a headache that threatens to become a full-on migraine.  You sigh and you take pen to paper instead (or maybe that's just what I did) as you wait...

To the casual observer, you probably seem overly calm for the situation as you scribble in your notebook.  You're not.  Your mind races through every moment of your child's life and you try to convince yourself that you've been a good parent while simultaneously trying not to be overcome by the things that go bump in the night and your baby out among them.  Without you to keep him safe.  You are truly at your wits' end as the time creeps towards 5 hours...

Rap, rap, rap - you hear a peck on the window.  You sit up quickly from where you must have dozed off on the sofa and you see your child's head peeping in the window.  You jump up, open the door and let your baby in.  It's now 4:30 am, and now you are finally breathing again...

You both sit down in silence.  You call the police back so they can take your child off the list, but he is now in the system.  The officer comes back and gives your child the same lecture you've been giving him for the past few years.  You wonder if it's sinking in this time.  When the officer leaves, you send your child to bed (it is now 5:20 am and the alarms start going off at 6 am to begin the day) and everyone collapses in bed, exhausted.

Blog land, I hope that none of you have experienced this teenage version of a parent's nightmare.  Believe you me, it is NOT fun.  In fact, it is even more frightening than the toddler edition.  I pray that all of your babies are safe and sound - give them an extra helping of love today and do your best to always keep them safe.

No question today; I'm wiped.  Just have a blessed week. 

xoxo  - Holla @ Darvi

Goodbye, Summer TV...

You made it - it's FRIDAY!!!!  High five yourself for getting to the end of another week!

As usual around these parts, the weekend is going to be a busy one:  a fundraiser tonight, a picnic tomorrow (one of the last of the year), and I'm thinking of supporting a childhood friend who coaches a pee wee football league in his first game of the year on Sunday (at least for a little while, not sure how long I'll be able to do bleachers...).  So it's a little busy.  Next week is the (unofficial) last week of summer and I still have stuff I wanted to get in!  Like getting down to the Field to see the open air MJ exhibit.  And then there's finding someone's house to crash for Labor Day (LBVS)!  Kinda makes you wonder where the summer went and what did you actually do all summer (and in some cases, what you didn't get done...).

One of things I was supposed to do this summer was catch up on TV.  Yeah, about that... So I recorded all of "summer" shows and I haven't actual watched much of anything.  And we're less than a month out from regular TV returning - Yikes!  I don't remember summer TV when I was kid being this exciting - I never watched it!  I was too busying trying to get outside and play!

So in our farewell to summer, we're gonna chat a little about summer TV:

Now I'm sure most of you never guess in a million years what I did spend time watching this summer.  Time's up:  Charlie's Angels and The Love Boat. 

Yep, you read right.  Those are my guilty TV pleasures - two of my favorite shoes from when I was a kid (my sisters and I used to act out our favorite TV shows, including Charlie's Angels:  I was Jill/Chris, Kim was Kelly, and Mia was Sabrina; when my brother came along he was Bosley by default).  I know the plot lines weren't great, some seasons have been downright painful to watch with 2015 eyes, but sometimes you just need mindless TV that concludes in an hour, you know?  The Love Boat - I love singing the theme song and just reliving my youth (it's definitely how we spent Saturday night - there was only one TV...).

Now I did watch my regular summer History and Discovery Channel reality TV staples also, just not as much as usual:

 

 



I also added three new ones to the mix: 

 

And we actually watched ALL of this show (except the last 4 episodes, still trying to finish this before regular TV starts):



 I got in some of these two also, both on On Demand:



I plan to upgrade the Goldbergs to part of my regular TV watching this fall.  I'm almost caught up on Tyrant, but I didn't get to Power, Mistresses or Devious Maids.  So, I have a few more weeks to play catch up before my attention is drawn to premiers.

So how about you - do you watch much TV in the summer or do you take a break and wait until fall?  Holla @ Darvi!

*Sidenote:  I know my posts have been "deep" this week - but know this, I strive to always be my true, authentic self here and believe it or not, you are walking with me on my journey:  highs, lows, stumbles, triumphs, defeats.  I'm not always sure where it's gonna end up, but I'm documenting the ride and sharing any lessons I learn along the way in the hopes that they may help someone else should they find themselves in similar circumstances.

Enjoy your weekend and be blessed!!!

Footsteps in the Dark...

Happy Hump Day!  Yes, I know technically that it's after midnight, but since I'm not asleep yet, it's still Wednesday to me!  Guess what?  Remember that "sweltering" weather I was talking about just a few short weeks ago?  Um, yeah.  So now it's fall.  Like for real.  As in jacket weather.  As in I made chili for dinner weather (you know that's fall food, right?).  Tomorrow allegedly it will be warmer and then back to swelter next week.  Gotta love Chicago and its ever-changing weather, right? 

So today  we're going to talk about footsteps in the dark (like the Isley Brothers, reference, eh?).  Or more appropriately, walking in the dark.  Have you ever done that - get up in the middle of the night and stumble around in the dark to go to the restroom or go get a drink of water?  Invariably you walked in to something because your eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness and it was hard to see.  Maybe it's just me...  
 

The idea of this topic came to me yesterday as I sat in the church parking lot before class doing my homework (don't judge me!).  On the drive there from my contract assignment in the western burbs, me & God had a little chat.  Ok, so it was more like me whining "why, why, why" and God responding back to me through music (which happens a lot when I listen to Gospel music) and then by dropping scripture and other things into my mind.  So I was driving along, had my phone plugged in and on my Pandora station (isn't that the greatest?) and as I whined, a litany of songs came on with His answer.  Next came scriptures.  When I got to the church, I had to write everything down so I wouldn't forget.  And so here we are.

So anyway, I got some bad news yesterday that is a step backwards from where I'm trying to be.  Then another bit of bad news came and I was discouraged.  So as I said, I was whining, literally crying out loud about things, asking why all of this stuff was continuing to happen and asking what in the world was I going to do now??? Have you ever been there? Before I could even finish, a song came on, "It's Only A Test" by Bishop Larry Trotter and Sweet Holy Spirit Choir (you can hear it here).  That made me stop.  Quickly.  That used to be one of my favorite songs back in the day, and what I thought about was how it's sometimes so easy to sing about tests and whatnot when things are going well but we forget about that stuff when we are going through said tests... I'll just drop that right here.

The next song was one I had never heard before, "Joy Will" by Charles Jenkins and it Fellowship MB Church Choir (you can hear it here).  The gist of it is that joy will come in the morning (even when sometimes it feels like one long eternal night and you are stumbling along in darkness most days - see how I tied that in???). 

More songs came on, mostly worship songs:  Amazing by Hezekiah Walker, God is Great by Rickey Dillard and New G, Step Right In by Earnest Pugh, Here I am to Worship by William McDowell, Total Praise by Donnie McClurkin, He Turned It by Rickey Dillard & New G, and Lift Him Up by Hezekiah Walker.  So what do you think happened?  I got so caught up in singing that I stopped whining, number 1, and number 2, I arrived at the church.

But that doesn't mean that my issues were completely out of my mind, as I was working on my homework (stop judging...), I started questioning again. So scriptures arrived next: 

1. Thy word oh Lord is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path - Psalm 119:105
2. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all things will be added unto you - Matthew 6:33
3. All things work together for the good of them who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose - Romans 8:28
4. Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not to thine own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path - Proverbs 3:5

Ouch.  So I take all of that as a not so gentle reminder to get out of my own head and keep focused.  Sometimes that is a very difficult thing to do, especially when things are not going as well as they could be.  So if anyone else out there is going through a rough patch, I hope that you find some comfort in these things like I did yesterday.  I told y'all- the struggle is REAL.

A few months ago my big brother Delvin (remember him?  He writes the blog "My Relationship Lessons" and he's on WVON in Chicago.  You should check him out; his blog can be found here)  mentioned a book he was reading, "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On" by Stormie O'Martian.  He suggested it for anyone who was going through.  I made a note of it; thought I had it in my library, but did not.  Had to order it from Amazon, but I got it.  Didn't actually pick it up though until last week. The subtitle of the book is "Trusting God in the Tough Times."  Yeah... Here is a photo of it so you can see it:

I'm not done yet, because it's not fluff and I'm reading for understanding, not just content.  I'm only in Chapter 2, but I've already noted and highlighted several things.  It isn't my first book by her; she also wrote Power of Praying Wife and Power of a Praying Husband (those are both great books too, by the way).  I recommend this book for anyone going through tough times and it feels like you are just walking around in the dark with no clear path in front of you.  Kinda like me right now.  Remember that whole work in progress thing? Yep, still progressing...

Let me be clear, I'm not a preacher, evangelist, missionary or any of that stuff.  But I am just a girl (say NOTHING about my age!) who is working on this Christian walk thing one day at a time and who is thankful each day for another opportunity to get it right (because I get it wrong so many times!) and learning, very slowly apparently, to yield.  That is so hard to do, but I'm working on it just the same.

So what should we do?  We keep walking, even though it feels like there's darkness all around us and sometimes the only light is the size of a pen light, certainly not enough to light your whole path.  But that's kinda the point - walking and waiting for the light to guide your next step...

Is there anyone else out there who feels as if they are walking around in the dark, no light in sight?  Or maybe you all have it all together already and I'm by myself.  Perhaps you found your way out of the dark already and want to share your story.  I'm all ears!  Holla @ Darvi - be blessed!!!

When "they" smile in your face...

Good glorious Monday to you, blog world!  I hope you all had a great weekend!  I had a blast at my friends' anniversary party on Saturday!  The only bad thing was I got home so late that I didn't make it to church on Sunday and I hate missing church because I really need the message to guide my upcoming week. 

I was able to sneak in some creative projects on Friday night/Saturday afternoon.  I finished the wall art for the new baby (finally!  she was born last week and has a name, yeah!) and quickly put together a jewelry project that I wanted to wear Saturday night.  They both came out pretty nice, I think:

This is the framed page for the new baby; since the last photo I added her name
 in glitter cardstock and another butterfly (thinking of adding some photo corners).

This is a quick necklace and bracelet combo which used dyed howlite in the necklace
(wasn't happy with the pendant I got from Michael's though; might have to talk to them about
it) and reconstructed turquoise in the bracelet (loved how it came out!).

So onto the subject of this post, when "they" smile in your face.  Um, yeah.  You know what that's all about.  The O'Jays had a word for it:  BACKSTABBERS.  They even wrote a song about it, listen to it here.

 

 

 

No one likes it when they discover that they have fake friends.  Haven't met a person yet who counts that as a good day. 

 

 

 

 

How does this happen???  Most times, the "friendee" is oblivious to what is going on around them because folks do a good job masquerading (so totally off subject, but I love the song "This Masquerade" by George Benson.  You can listen to it here).  Oftentimes, the "friendee" learns quite by accident that their "friends" are fake.  A situation arises and a good Samaritan brings it to the "friendee's" attention what is really going on.  Let me tell you this:  when one finds out that people who pretended to their friend is not, it can knock the wind out of them.  There are a lot of thoughts and emotions that run through one's mind:  hurt, disappointment, anger, but the biggest of them all is BETRAYAL.  And that's a bit harder to overcome.  It also can sometimes take a long time to get over.  One doesn't know who to trust or how to move in their social circle anymore because of fake friends and sometimes it can lead to a lonely existence.  

 

So how do you know how to spot a fake friend?  Believe it or not, the Bible offers some guidance on this, so let's go:

 

1)   Psalm 55:21 "His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war"

 

2)  Proverbs 26:23-25 " Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot."

 

3)   Psalm 41:9  "Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me."

 4)   Psalm 55:12-15 "For it is not an enemy who taunts me then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng. Let death steal over them; let them go down to Sheol alive; for evil is in their dwelling place and in their heart."

5)  Jeremiah 20:10 For I hear many whispering. Terror is on every side! “Denounce him! Let us denounce him!” say all my close friends, watching for my fall. “Perhaps he will be deceived; then we can overcome him and take our revenge on him.”

Who knew, right???  So the question becomes what to do when you discover that you have been betrayed by someone you thought was your friend?

This is a tough one actually.  But I will do my best to answer that question:

1) DO feel.  It's ok to feel; you don't have to act like Teflon in that everything rolls off of you.  You get cut, you bleed. Everyone does, and it's ok to feel.  If you journal, you might want to write about it or even write the offender a letter explaining how you feel (don't send it; it's the exercise itself that is cathartic). 

2) DON'T seek revenge.  It's so very hard because you feel wronged and you want to make it stop.  But will that really solve the problem or create new ones?  Usually that will create new ones, so as hard as it might be, you really do have to turn the other cheek on this one...

3) DO seek wise counsel from a true friend.  You will want and need to talk about it, so do.  But be sure that the person you are talking to is wise and will listen without judgment and offer good advice.

4) DON'T put yourself in other situations to be hurt again or taken advantage of by the same person(s).  Be smart about your associations in the face of the situations and make adjustments where necessary.  You may have to leave your social circle altogether depending on how bad the situation is.  While that is sad on the one hand, if all of your so-called friends aren't true friends, have you really lost anything?

5) DO find solace in the Word.  If you've been betrayed, take heart, you're in good company!  Jesus was betrayed by one of his disciples and taken to a bogus trial that ended in His death.  Luke 22:47-48 While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”

6) DON'T feel bad for cutting your ties with the offenders.  You have every right to surround yourself only with people who like, love, support and uplift you.  Those are the kinds of people you want in your life, not fake ones anyway.

7) DO give yourself time to heal.  It will likely take a minute and that's ok too.  You don't owe anyone any explanation about why you need to step away from certain situations or people, just do what you need to do in order to feel better.

8) DO pray about it.  Whether you think you are experiencing such a situation or you know that you are, pray that God will open your eyes, grant you discernment and protect you from your enemies.  Also pray for guidance on how to deal with it.

9) DO forgive them.  I know this is the hardest one of them all, but you have to do it.  Remember that part of the Lord's Prayer I cited last week?  It still applies; you need to forgive your trespassers.  I know it hurts, but forgive them anyway.  If you say it every day (whether out loud or in your heart) that you forgive [insert fake friend's name here], eventually you actually will and it won't even matter anymore.

10) DON'T keep thinking about it.  This is hard.  As much as you might want to put it behind you, you won't be able to right away.  Because you will be angry and hurt.  Eventually though, it will fade away (it might take a long time though, it definitely won't be overnight).

I hope that this has been helpful; Lord knows I had to dig deep to write this one!

So what do you do when "they smile in your face?"  Am I on the right track with what I'm suggesting here?  Holla @ Darvi!  Have a great week and be blessed!!!

Straight Outta...

Happy Friday!!!!  Congratulations, you made it!  Here's to a great weekend ahead of you!

So I went to see a movie this week.  Probably not a big deal for most folks.  But for me? It is. The last movie I saw was for the Tween's birthday back in January, and it was Night at the Museum (3?).  I like movies, I just don't go that often.  I have trouble sitting there that long.  I prefer to watch at home where I can take a break if I need to.  (Back in the day, watching Malcolm X and The Hurricane almost killed me!  I had to leave the theater several times during both of those movies.  But, I digress.)

So anyhoo, I keep a list (imagine that!) of movies that I want to see, whether at the theater or at home.  Among my action flicks (I can't wait to see Terminator, Mission Impossible, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and Hitman 47), I was stoked about seeing Straight Outta Compton. Say what? Yep, you got it.  Here's why:

1) In addition to being a house head, I am also an early-80s to mid-90s rap head.  For a person who loves music as much as I do as well as loves the written word, I was intrigued by rap when I first heard it and the poetry style lyrics.  The first rap song I remember hearing was Grandmaster Flash's The Message.  I was in 6th or 7th grade (can't remember exactly now) and I remember all of us on the bus on the way to school singing it (as much as we could remember).  I kinda left rap for the most part in the mid-90s because things had changed and it was less about being a talented lyricist as it was about things I couldn't relate to anymore...

2) My favorite rap artists/groups from "back in the day" are:  Grandmaster Flash, Run DMC, BDP, Heavy D, LL Cool J, MC Lyte (she's my sorority sister as well), Eric B & Rakim, Doug E Fresh, Slick Rick, A Tribe Called Qwest, De La Soul, Black Sheep, Public Enemy, MC Hammer (don't hate!), Salt N Pepa, Kool Moe Dee, Whodini, EPMD, Big Daddy Kane, Digital Underground, Biz Markie and of course, NWA and later Ice Cube & Dr. Dre when they went solo.  I liked some songs from the other groups/artists out there, but these are the ones that dominated high school, grammar school and college for me.

3) I remember the first time I heard an NWA song.  It was on a Friday night, my grandmother was at church and I had the radio blasting (as I did every Friday night that I didn't have to work) and it was around the time that they shifted house music to later in the evening and had rap hour or something like that.  I was already familiar with the New York rappers but then this song came on that sounded totally different from what I was used to hearing; it was NWA's "Dopeman."  I was like, "Whoa, that's new."  And so, using the best of the 80s technology and resources, I learned all I could about this group and their sound.  I learned that they were from California (who ever heard of rappers from California???) and they lived in the 'hood.  I was hooked. 

Now, I was not allowed to buy their music - who was?  But, I listened to it on the radio as it got more and more air play.  And when I went to college I was able to buy the music, but I digress again...

What I liked about rap music the most (back then anyway) is that it was music that told a story.  In a creative way.  Whether or not you agree with the lyrics or the language (and for the record, not all rappers cursed in their songs), you have to admit that they were some talented young people who wrote about the things that they saw and experienced every day. Whether you agree with how they expressed their experiences, you have to give it to them that they were indeed talented.

So onto NWA specifically.  I lived in the era of videos (do they even still make videos???) and when I went to college, videos were our primary entertainment and how we found out about new music as we didn't have any "urban" radio stations in my college town.  So I remember all of their videos as well.  Now, being a kid myself, I can honestly say that I didn't really understand how pivotal they were to the industry and all that at the time, I just know that I liked the music and understood where they were coming from.  And thus began my love affair with them.  

That being said, I was SICK when I found out that Ice Cube had left the group!  But, when his album dropped, I bought it.  And loved it.  The voice I had grown to love was still there. Can you tell he's my favorite?  Not saying that I didn't like the rest of them but his voice was and is amazing!  Kinda like my obsession with Chuck D's voice; there is nothing like it!!! 

Needless to say, I followed all of their careers as they matured beyond rap and into other pursuits (acting, directing, producing, beats!, etc.) as I aged along with them.  So when I heard about the movie, I was uber excited!!!

I purposely didn't read too much about the movie or get anyone's opinion before I saw it; I wanted to fully experience it.  And so on Monday, Urban Dude and I checked out a matinee of "Straight Outta Compton."  And I loved it!!!  

From the opening scenes, I was mesmerized (and I managed to make it through the entire 2 hours and 27 minutes without leaving out once).  It brought back so many memories of that time from 1986-1995 which for me was the time period from mid-high school until 3 years post-college.  Like it or not, the reality of the mid-80s was poverty, gangs and drugs.  I grew up on the south side of Chicago in a relatively decent neighborhood back then, but we were not immune to the effects of poverty, gangs and drugs.  While we never had the police issues that seemed to plague other communities in Chicago and across the country like Compton, we definitely experienced the shift that came with the influx of gangs and drugs. Who didn't have a "hype" in their neighborhood or their family?  (That would be a person hooked on crack).  And so I understood perfectly where they were coming from; it was a reality in Black America at the time.  As a now 40-something year old looking back at it all, in my opinion, they were in reality the antithesis of Public Enemy, who rapped about politics, society, poverty and drugs, from an East Coast standpoint.  Different methods, similar message.  So if you haven't seen it, keep an open mind and remember back to those days and what was going on at the time.  You will then appreciate how they captured it.

After watching the movie, I googled the group and each member individually to learn more about them.  And I learned a lot.  They were truly trailblazers for others looking to "make it" with a different sound.  Moreover, as you look at the members of the group, everyone had a persona within the group:  Eazy was the money man turned rapper, Dre & Yella were the men behind the music, Ren was a writer/rapper and Cube was the main writer/rapper.  In their neighborhood, they had a persona as well:  Eazy was a drug dealin' thug, Dre & Yella were dj's, Cube was being bussed to a better school in a different neighborhood, (not sure about Ren's neighborhood persona).  And at that time, their personas/roles, if I may say, is what identified them and kept them relatively safe in a volatile environment.  Because, as Jerry Heller said in his book, if you weren't a student, athlete, thug, drug dealer [or dj (in Dre's and Yella's case)], there was only one role left for you:  Victim.

I can relate to that, even though my neighborhood was nowhere near as bad as Compton, but we still had roles.  Even the girls.  There were the hype girls (crackheads), drug girls, fast girls, thug girls, quiet girls and school girls.  I was a school girl.  Which meant that I had safe passage and an escort if needed to make sure I got to and from school safely.  It also meant that no one bothered me or tried to pressure me to use drugs, drink, have sex or join a gang.  Because that was my role.  And if someone didn't know and would try to put me in a precarious situation, the folks in the hood would say, "Naw man, that's school girl. She's going to college, so leave her alone."  When I went to prom, the whole neighborhood came out.  When I left for college, the whole neighborhood came out.  Why?  Because they felt just as invested in my future as I did.  It was my role.  

Same for NWA (and in thousands of other neighborhoods across America) - they were kids with dreams of making it.  As they made it, their neighborhood was proud because some of their own "made good."  I can respect that (whether or not I personally agreed with each and every song they made, which I did not). Nor did I agree with everything they did and said outside of their music- that's not the subject of this post either.

I have to Additionally, all of the actors did an OUTSTANDING job of capturing the group's members personas.  Kudos to them all.  Ice Cube's son, O'Shea Jackson, Jr., looks just like his dad (a fairer skinned version) and sounds so much like him, it's creepy!  Also the other talented main character actors were awesome:  Corey Hawkins (Dr. Dre), Jason Mitchell (Eazy E), Neil Brown, Jr. (DJ Yella), Aldis Hodge (MC Ren), R. Marcos Taylor (Suge Knight), and Paul Giamatti (Jerry Heller).  

I predict that Straight Outta Compton will become a historical piece, for it is indeed a piece of history.  It doesn't depict America in its best light, but in a true light, nonetheless. Whether you are a rap fan or not, there is no question that NWA's "reality rap" was a true sign of the times.  And if you are a student of history as I am, you know that those who do not know their history are destined to repeat it.  

Speaking of which, can you really say that we are so far today from where we were in the mid-80s (police brutality against people of color, rampant poverty in neighborhoods of color, excessive gang violence/terrorism in neighborhoods of color, kids just looking for a way out)???  Look around people, I'm just sayin'...

What say ye?  Have you seen it? Do you think it effectively captured the backdrop of America at the time while simultaneously telling the story of the group?  Holla @ Darvi! Have a safe weekend and Be Blessed!

EVERYONE in my house is FINALLY Back 2 School...

What day is it???? It's Hump Day - Wednesday!!!  Take a moment, wipe the sweat off your brow and take a deep breath because your week is half over!  

So I want to begin today by sharing a bit of good news- I start a new project assignment on Monday.  It may not seem like much, but it's actually HUGE around these parts!  So I am happy about that.  It's going to be a little hectic to prepare and I will have to leave home super early to get there, but I am ever so thankful for it!  

I also want to thank everyone who reads my posts.  That means so much to me and your comments make me smile!  I know they sometimes run the gamut (I warned of that in the intro that anything was fair game) but I try to always be my true, authentic self, even when it's not so pretty... So thank you!!!  I think I wanna do some sort of Random Act of Kindness (RAK); gotta figure that out a little more; stay tuned!

Back to the topic at hand - everyone is GONE!  *Doing my happy dance while seated at the computer with a cup of joe*  It's so quiet here after the flurry of morning activity.  And I can breathe and think without anyone calling my name or demanding something.  Lovely.

The Teen started school on Monday (which is actually late this year).  He is now a JUNIOR, making him officially an upperclassmen!  He's real laid back about it, and because he elected to go to public school instead of the fine private school I wanted, he gets to wear whatever he wanted (I relented since he's been in uniforms since he was 3 and the trek to the City for school would have been brutal on both of us... and I actually love his school).  I am so proud of him and hope that this is his best year ever!  I am looking forward to the things we have on deck for this year: continuing our driving lessons so he'll be ready to get his license come December, his 17th birthday next month, beginning our college visits so we're ahead of the curve for next year, those very rare moments when we connect over music, a television show or he actually wants/needs my input/advice - all of that!!!  So here's what the Teen's first day looked like (and I DO NOT understand this outfit at all, but he looks like all the rest of them from what I've seen):

So yeah.  Who knew that tall socks with shorts would make a comeback????  But there's my junior!  His first day went off without a hitch, except he was overly obsessed with whether the bus would come on time (it didn't last year...).  But all was well.

Today baby girl, otherwise known as the Tween, started school.  She's in 6th grade now, so the end of middle school (our schools are a little weird, her current school goes from 4th-6th grade, then the next school is 7th-8th grade, where most middle schools either start in 5th or 6th through 8th).  Did today go smooth? Hecky naw!  She is defiant to a fault sometimes; no matter what I say, she either does nothing or the complete opposite.  Drives me nuts!  Like yesterday (early, mind you) I told her to decide which bookbag she was going to use and take it to the office so we could start loading it up.  At 7:30 this morning, do you think it was done?  Nope... Told her to set the clock for 6:00, at 6:58 she was just getting up.  School started at 8:00... Then I realized I never got confirmation of her school schedule - which meant that I had to drive her today (now of course I was going anyway because I have to meet the teacher and all of that first day stuff, but still).  Then because she was moving so slowly, I didn't have time to fix her hair the way I wanted to.  *sigh*  But, we got the bag packed and her out of the house reasonably on time (we had to stop in the office anyway). So without further ado, here's my 6th grader:

Yes, I know the picture is fuzzy.  My camera was broken over the weekend and so now I'm relegated to taking photos with my phone until further notice.  And if she looks tall to you, she is!  She is officially taller than me and about the same height as her teacher!  Don't believe me?  Here she is with her teacher:  

See?  She is catching up to her brother; she is about to his jawline at the moment.  I'm hoping that her height slows down some.  I call her my Amazonian princess... Her school has a dress code, so that's why her outfit is so nondescript.  We are counting it down to when she can wear her own clothes to school!  I still find it hard to believe that she's in 6th grade sometimes; it seems like just yesterday we were starting Nursery 3 back at SCA (Salem Christian Academy) - the good old days!  I'm looking forward to more time with her also, as we explore our creative pursuits together (she's very talented, it's amazing sometimes).

So that's it.  Both of my not so little people are officially back in school!  No more shuttle service all over town going back and forth to summer camp and summer jobs, nope!  No more lazy evenings and late nights.  Back to bus schedules and early rising.  Back to life, back to reality (an ode to Soul II Soul, wanna listen?  Do so here.)  I pray that my children, and all of the other students, have a productive and safe year filled with learning new things and that they are fully prepared for what's to come.

So now I'm off to finish buying school supplies that I did not get and organizing the rest of my week.  Plus I have to start purging and packing and all of that good stuff in between the regular stuff I need to do (even though I haven't found a house yet).  Joy.  Back to reality for me too, lol!

Have all of your young people gone back to school (or are you yourself going back)? Either way, make it a great year!  Don't forget to "Holla @ Darvi!"  Be Blessed!

The Last Vestiges of Summer...

Good day, blog land!!!  So as much as I hate to admit it, we are in the last vestiges of summer.  *sigh*

Why do I say that?  Well, the external as well as the internal signs are there.  Internally, there is a quickening as you subconsciously "pick up the pace" when fall comes.  Slowly you shift from the "lazy" days of the summer into a more-structured schedule.  Your clothing choices shift as well, as you slide from the loose, flowy gear of summer back to the more structured, tailored clothes of fall.  

Externally, the stores have changed their displays to include back to school specials, fall harvest themed decorations and in some cases, Christmas decor.  There are more school buses out as the drivers start practicing their routes for when school begins.  If you live in the burbs, school actually starts this week, so there is a flurry of shopping going on:  school supplies, unforms and shoes.  Bed times are earlier as children shift from summer back into fall.  Soon nature will change too, as the leaves start turning shades of red and brown.  

Now, for me, I LOVE fall! And spring.  Those are my two favorite times of the year, as the temperatures are milder and it is just beautiful outside!  Because I have an affinity for school/office supplies, I look forward to the sales to stock up on pens and paper for my various journals and such and just the beginning of a new school year for the children.  But, I do always try to capture those last vestiges of summer as much as I can, because, before you know it, they will be gone...

That being said, the other day I had the opportunity to spend some time at one of the most beautiful parks I have encountered away from the City; Centennial Park in Munster, Indiana. See more information about the park here.  I have been there on several occasions; several times to use the driving range and last summer I visited the formal gardens. This time I walked through the park in general, just taking in the view.  I even saw a wedding taking place outside and they took photos in the formal gardens.  As soon as you make the turn into the park, you begin to feel as if you are a million miles away from the world and you are mesmerized by the peace, quiet and tranquility of the park.  Of course I have some photos to share, because I am a self-proclaimed "nature freak;" I love taking photos of landscapes, butterflies, flowers and interesting plants and trees.  Go figure.  So in my effort to freeze frame the last vestiges of summer, here's what I saw:

The view from the walking path - beautiful!

A butterfly that stayed still long enough for me to capture the image!

A sculpture situated in the park.

The plaque for said sculpture.

The view of the fishing pond from the bridge.

Another view of the other side of the pond.

Some cool-shaped cactus plants growing along the pond.

The beautiful and picturesque clubhouse!

Do you agree with me?  Isn't it just beautiful??? I stayed out there for about an hour, just taking it all in and people watching.  The next time I go, I will venture across the street to the other part of the park which houses the Veterans' Memorial.  

So that's it, my ode to summer 2015.  I am looking forward to the last few picnics and bbqs as we try to fit it all in before football and sweater weather.  I will have those lazy conversations with my friends before our schedules really pick up and we won't have time. Yes, I will capture the last vestiges of summer so that I can reflect on them in the middle of the winter, lol!!!

So how do you capture the last little bit of summer?  Holla @ Darvi and let me know!  Be Blessed!

I don't like change...

Happy Friday to you all!  This weekend I am looking forward to celebrating my friend C-Rob's entry into Club 40!!!  She is such an awesome person and I hope she has the best birthday ever!!! 

I remember when I turned 40.  For the two years leading up to 40, I was so looking forward to it, planned a HUGE celebration and was looking forward to the next chapter of my life.  Until the week of my actual 40th birthday came.  That week found me super down, doubting myself and the many life choices I had made up to that point, and just dreading my birthday.  I felt like I wanted to go to sleep on the eve of my birthday and not wake up until the day after.  I had planned all this stuff and I didn't want to see anybody.  I just wanted to curl up in my bed and watch television.  That's when it first hit me - I don't like change.

I have never been fond of change, yet I've had to endure constant change during my life.  I had to change houses when we had a fire at our house when I was 8 and move to my grandparents house.  I had to adjust to wearing glasses in the 4th grade when rarely anyone else did.  I had to change schools in 6th grade to go to a new school, with new people, in a new neighborhood and take a bus.  My whole world changed when I went off to college.  My world changed again when I graduated from college and came back home to attend law school.  My world changed yet again when I got engaged, got married, bought a house and had a baby.  You get the idea.  Change happens. And yet, I'm almost never prepared for it and fight it every step of the way.

What is change?  Change is defined on dictionary.com as "to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion."  See the full definition here.  So I suppose it would look something like this in picture form:

Now, I'm not a moron. I understand that everything changes and everything has to change.  It just takes me a while to adapt to it and I don't like it.  I also don't like reprogramming my kids for whatever new change lies ahead.  It simply makes me tired...

Let's take moving as an example.  In my life, I've moved 16 times (this includes moving each year for college).  In the past 6 years, I've moved 2 times and am gearing up for another move now.  That's a lot of packing and unpacking.  It's also an adjustment to a new neighborhood, a new house and leaves me feeling unsettled.  I think that's the part that I dislike the most. 

There's also changes like watching your kids grow up.  That is the hardest pill to swallow.  When they are babies and small children, you just love them to pieces and pour everything into them.  Then you have to watch them grow up and change into tweens (and that is more than a notion if you have a daughter), then into teens and then prepare yourself for them leaving you and going off to college.  That's where I am now; the Teen is entering his junior year, so the time for him leaving the nest is close at hand.  And I don't like it one bit!  As much as I want him to grow  up and experience life and everything that comes with it, part of me still longs for the little boy who was my pride and joy, my baby.  In short order, I will go through the same thing with the Tween and I can't even begin to process THAT yet! 

But, when the time comes, I will adapt.  That's one of the two things that happens when change comes; you either adapt or you wither and die (not literally, but figuratively).  I just ran across a quote that I think befitting:  "The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists."  ~ Japanese Proverb  I'm striving to be more like the bamboo than the oak.  One of my favorite songs is Everything Must Change by Oleta Adams.  Others have sang it, but her version is my favorite.  She has a beautiful voice; you can listen to it here. 

So as I gear up to enter yet another new season in my life and the inevitable change it brings, I hope to embrace it rather than resist it.  At the end, I want it to look something like this:

 

I hope you will pray for me and wish me luck.  My mantra for this time of change is the serenity prayer; maybe it will help you as you go through your own seasons of change.

Am I the only one facing change?  Holla @ Darvi! Be Blessed and have a great weekend!!!