Reflections on being 45…it has been the best of times and the worst of times!

Happy Tuesday, Blog Framily!  I hope you’ve had a wonderful three weeks!  I have been enjoying my birthday... The big 45.  I paused for a minute to let that sink in (I've been letting it sink in for the past 3 weeks...).

I am truly grateful to God for allowing me to have 45 years on this side and to experience all parts of life, the good, the bad, the ugly!!! Because, face it, it is all parts of life that have shaped me into the me of today (the good, the bad and the ugly…).  Here’s a recap:

I was born – May 25, 1971!  Not born under the ideal circumstances at the time, but I was born.  Here’s a baby picture, not newborn, we had a fire and my baby book was destroyed, but an infant photo just the same:  

And I was given the blessing of being raised by my maternal grandparents, who were to me, simply “Gramma and Gran-deddy” (you have to get that phonetic pronunciation going).

I attended an awesome preschool at Triedstone Full Gospel Church, where I learned to read very early and my love of reading was born (I was reading my mom’s books when I was in kindergarten)!  This is where I had my first graduation; I still remember us singing and performing “10 little Indian boys and girls” (I had forgotten that, it just came back to my remembrance today).  Here’s a picture of my graduation, it’s from 1976:

I attended Bates School (which no longer exists) where I had some awesome teachers that recognized my academic potential and jumped me after a week or two in first grade to second grade.  It was at Bates where I met some folks that would become eternal friends, where I developed my abhorrence for chocolate (milk, ice cream, pudding, frosting, egh!), where I was encouraged to just keep reading and writing, where my fear of worms and dogs was tested to new heights, where I had my first fight and my first crush.  It was also at Bates School where my 5^th grade teacher recommended that I (along with 3 other students) go to Kellogg School to be part of the options for knowledge program, a move that changed my life.

1981 found me being bussed to Kellogg and it was such an important part of my life journey!  I was in the options program in 6^th grade, and it was there I learned to research and really develop my writing.  It was a small school, only one class for each grade, and we were relatively close.  My graduating class had 32 people in it!  It was there I had access to physical science and biology classes, made lifetime friends, participated in “teach-ins” and plays, went to the opera, and was exposed to different things outside of my neighborhood, like a progressive dinner (which I SHALL recreate one day!).  I wish I had pictures, but we were busy living life, not photographing it!  I do have some pictures from my 8^th grade graduation; this is one with me with my mom back in 1984 after the graduation:

The next phase of my life was high school; from 1984-1988, I was an Honors Student at Morgan Park High School right on the south side of Chicago!  There I started my 4-year journey with a small group of students who were in the Honors Track with me and met some others along the way; again, lifetime friendships were formed.  It was there that I had experimental haircuts (asymmetrical bob, anyone?), survived neon and an obsessive fascination with pink during 1985, went on college tours, had sleepovers, played sports, went on dates (once I was old enough), learned how to drive, had my first heartbreak, had my first job (Brown’s Chicken on 116^th & Western), had many excursions to Evergreen Plaza, and enjoyed the heck out of my senior year, including prom.  Those were some of the best years of my life!!!  Here is my "official" senior year book picture:

After that was college; from 1988-1992 I was a student at the University of Illinois in Urbana –Champaign, where I attended on full scholarship.  It was there that I joined my sorority (Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.), learned that I actually needed to STUDY to get good grades, traveled up and down I-57 more times that I can count, gained and lost the freshman 15, went on road trips, learned to truly live on my own, lost my grandfather (1992, 3 weeks before graduation), grew up and made lifelong friends.  My college graduation was one of the best days of my life, May 17, 1992 (I graduated just mere days before my 21^st birthday):  

Then that came my first forays into real adulthood (1992-2000):  I entered law school (I left law school; took a gap year then went back again), I got engaged and married (later separated and divorced), bought a house, became a mother (to the Teen), went back to school and graduated again, and met who would then become my second husband.  Here are my two graduation photos from John Marshall in 1997 and 2000, respectively:

Just before my 30^th birthday, I got married again and experienced a wonderful honeymoon in Italy.  I had my 30^th birthday twice, once in Rome and then again in Chicago when I got home where my grandmother had prepared all of my favorite foods!  Then just after my 30^th birthday, all hell broke loose.  I was pregnant at the time and ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery on June 19, 2001, when my (unknown) ectopic pregnancy burst my fallopian tube.  I almost died.  To say that was a life-changing event is truly the understatement of ever.  I was hurt and angry.  I had lost my baby and almost my life.  But on the brighter side, I was able to spend that whole summer with the teen before he started school in the fall and we had many adventures!

Fast forward (2002+): We had a house built in the suburbs, was pregnant again in 2003 (after a miscarriage in 2002), gave birth to the tween in 2004 and was generally ok in life… until it changed again!  I turned 35 in 2006 and was feeling rather blah with things.  So the next few years found me separated (again) and moving with my babies in 2009.  Life still went on; I went back to school again (2009), lost my grandma (2010), turned 40 (2011), began a relationship I thought would be my last (it clearly wasn’t), moved again and life was good.. until it wasn’t.  Here's my 2011 graduation picture from Governors State:

The rest of the story you already know:  lost my job in 2013, lost some friends and my relationship (2015), and lost my house (2015), but here I stand.  I gained an awesome church family (Victory Apostolic), began working on several ministries there, became a board member for Habitat for Humanity South Suburbs (2015), joined the Top Ladies (2016), reconnected with some wonderful people and developed some new friendships as well, and am slowly, but surely, righting my balance. 

And that brings us to today, just three weeks after my 45^th birthday, which I celebrated with 50-60 of my friends and family with a Kate Spade-inspired party!  Wasn’t I cute????  

When I look back over my life’s journey, like everyone else’s, it’s not a straight line, but a series of ups and downs as I experienced the best of times and sometimes the worst of times.  But I can truly say that I’ve been blessed and I indeed have a testimony.  I can also say that I’m content and have joy! No, things aren’t perfect where I stand right now, not by a long shot.  But I can see the hand of God at work in my life, from having me skip 1^st grade to living with my grandparents to sending me to U of I on a full scholarship, to passing the bar exam on the first try under truly egregious and mostly non-existent study conditions, to every unhappy ending and each new beginning – brand new mercies everyday!!! Looking back gives me even more hope for the future!  My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades!!!

Scripture says:  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path – Proverbs 3:5-6.  I don’t know about you, but I am learning more and more each day to trust God with EVERYTHING, even the things that seem small, and to listen to the urgings of the Holy Spirit in telling me what to do.  And you know what?  He will indeed direct your path!  It is a learning curve, for sure, but it gets easier and easier the more you do it.

 

I would like to take this time to thank my village – my family and friends – who have been there through all of it:  the good times, the bad times, the happy times, the sad times.  As one of my favorite songs by the Mississippi Mass Choir says:  "having you there made the difference."  So thank you.  I appreciate and love my village so much, even though I'm not always able to see or talk to them, I know they are there, rooting for me, praying for me. And it makes it all worth it.

I know that I have indeed been blessed in my 45 years; and I believe that God still has yet to do his greatest work through me.  Right now, I am going where He leads me and enjoying each step of the journey.  I hope that you will trust Him with your journey too!

Have a blessed week!  Oh and I'm still collecting birthday wishes, so Holla @ Darvi!!!

xoxoxo

Perfect Peace???

Happy Tuesday, Blogland!  Yes, Tuesday, because I couldn’t get myself together enough on Monday to write.  So it is Christmas Week and try as I might to stay calm, I can feel the pressure mounting… And I’m taking a stress test in the morning, so I’m sure that will be an experience!

This year will present a lot of new things for me and the kids:  new place, new traditions (while keeping some of the old ones), new faces (and the absence of old ones) – just a spirit of newness!  I am looking forward to it, and I’m trying my best to assure the kids that everything will be fine, even with all of the change we’ve experienced this year.  Almost my whole family will be over for our annual Christmas Eve social, and I am looking forward to it.  Then afterwards, I have a busy Christmas weekend ahead of me, making new Christmas traditions, which I am also very much looking forward to.  But at the same time… it’s a lot of work to prepare for it all and I am (slightly) behind schedule in my quest for the “perfect” holiday.  Sound familiar to anyone or is it just me????  Now of course I know that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” holiday, but still I try.  There is something about this time of year that just tends to bring out the best in most people and I love to spread joy and cheer!

Speaking of spreading joy and cheer, I spent some time over the weekend volunteering at Victory’s Holiday Giveaway (I love being a part of the Outreach Ministry, feels like home to me), along with the teen and tween.  Look at this beautiful tree (one of several in the lobby area of our church). 

 

And look at me; don’t I look happy to be there??? This is one of my friends from the Outreach Ministry with me.

 

I was working at the check in desk for toys, the tween was a personal shopper and the teen was helping people carry their food baskets and other items to their cars.  It was a great lesson for them and they enjoyed volunteering.  See the joyful look on their faces???  

Nah, just kidding, their usual “unaffected stare” (thanks Missy) was in place!  But they SAID that they enjoyed it.  It really was awesome to see the looks on the family’s faces, especially those who received the personalized shopping done for their family (there were bikes, hockey tables, all manner of goodness)!  Victory really showed up and showed out for this outreach event!

Sunday we had an awesome service at church; Pastor Singleton finished his series on the Gifts of Jesus; this time he spoke about the Gift of PEACE.  There was but one scripture and I will quote it here:

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”  Luke 2:14

According to Pastor Singleton’s message, peace is tied directly into why Jesus was born (to make peace between God and the world), see Romans 5:1.  He went on to say that while peace is for everyone, it is not to everyone (see John 3:16-19); instead it is only to those on who His favor rests.  Only those at peace with God can know the peace of God!  That is because peace is relational with God (see John 14:27).  The peace of God is a state of mind; peace must overcome tests, trials and temptations in this life. So how does one have peace in this troubled world??? 

Pastor Singleton compared the two views of peace that most people have: 1) the belief that “peace” means quiet all around and that absolutely everything goes their way, and 2) when in the midst of everything falling apart, you keep your peace by keeping your mind “stayed” on Him.  Let’s dig a little deeper…

For those who believe that all must be well in order to have peace, they will never be “peacemakers” like Jesus because humility is required.  Those with the peace of God can humble themselves to go higher in God and to make peace.  The scriptures show how Jesus humbled himself by making himself nothing (man) and became obedient to death on a cross, all to make peace between God and Man (see Philippians 2:5-8).  Sometimes, in order to make peace, you have to be crucified (make peace with those who have wronged you to be like Jesus). 

Let me put a pin right here and be transparent for a moment:  I. STRUGGLE. WITH. THIS.  DAILY!  It’s very difficult, I won’t lie.  I haven’t quite yet gotten to the point where I can reach out to those folks yet, but, I have made peace with the situation.  Even the hurt and anger is diminishing, so I guess I’m on the right track, eh?  Pastor Singleton also posted the Prayer of St. Francis Assisi; I won’t post it here, but here’s a link for you.  I will be trying my best to live this going forward, I do some of it, but I could do better.  Ever a work in progress…

Back to the sermon; the bottom line is this:  peace with God is relational, while the peace of God is a state of mind.  I’ll just sit this right there for a moment.

So onto one of the other things I’ve been working on this month, my Scripture writing plan.  Yeah, that.  So, I was feeling good about being on task and then, just like that, I fell behind.  And I was so very BEHIND in my Scripture writing plan until I caught up this morning on the train!  Anyhoo, here are the verses for this week (and next week) so that you don’t get behind waiting on me...  It really has been a wonderful walk through the scriptures and I hope you’ve enjoyed sharing it.

December 21 – Luke 1:51-56                                December 22- Luke 2:4-7

December 23- Luke 2:8-12                                     December 24 – Luke  2:13-16

December 25- Luke :17-20                                     December 26- Galatians 4:4-7

December 27- Philippians 2:5-8                           December 28 – Philippians 2:9-11

December 29- James 1:16-18                                December 30- Titus 3:3-7

December 31 – Choose your own verse  

It’s the time of the year when most people reflect on the year past and prepare intentions for the coming year (well, at least I do; it’s one of my favorite processes at the end of every year).  As we prepare to say “sayonara” to 2015 and look with hope towards 2016, won’t you make it your aim to have both peace with God and the peace of God? I’m just saying…

So all that being said, anyone living in perfect peace?  How do you live it?  You know the drill – Holla @ Darvi and let’s talk about it!  Be Blessed – I will be back before Christmas!!!

Growing up...

Happy Wednesday,  blog land! I hope everyone has been well. I fully intended to post last week but this lack of electronics or Internet access during the day is more than a notion!  By the time I get home, I don't want to see a computer! Plus, I was tied up every evening last week (go figure)... so please continue to pray for me; I've got a month yet to go on this project! 

I don't think I noted when I last posted that I had been up very late two days that week working on a project with the Tween that I was unaware of for her music class.  I didn't know until the teacher emailed her concerns because she thought it hadn't been worked on.  So we had to rework the project and it cost me two nights of sleep!  I'm pleased to report that my sleeplessness wasn't in vain as the Tween got an A on her music project and her extra credit work was kept as an example by the teacher.  So, as much as I wanted to send her to bed and just finish it for her the first night, I'm glad I took the extra time and let her finish it herself (with direction), even though it took an extra day.  She was very pleased and happy that I made her start over (because of the outstanding final result).  Kudos to the Tween!

The Teen received his first grades from the new school; I am pleased with his progress for the most part (he needs to bring up that Trig grade).  I am very happy that he seems to be adjusting to the new school and new instructors and catching up (they started earlier than his old school did).

This past weekend, I had the opportunity attended the homegoing services of a powerhouse woman who attended the church that I grew up at, Ambassadors For Christ, COGIC, where my grandmother served until she died and my aunt is still serving.  Walking in there was like walking into my past; I spent so much of my life there!  It was like a reunion of sorts, and save for the occasion, it would have been!  I almost expected to see my grandmother walking down the aisle at any minute; that's how powerful the memories were!

The services were in honor of Rochelle White, or "RoRo" as she was affectionately known. I of course knew her when I was a child, but as an adult, I had the opportunity to work with her on the Pastoral Expense Committee.  She was such a hard worker, always full of ideas and easy to work with.  I truly enjoyed working with her and it was one of the things I really missed when I changed my membership.  One of my first memories of Rochelle was when she first started coming to AFC and bringing her two little boys with her, Stanley and Freddie.  At that time, she didn't say too much, just sat in her seat (which continued to be her seat over the years), and corralled her boys (who had loads of energy).  As time wore on and she joined the church, I had the opportunity to watch the boys grow up (they are in my brother's age group and they are friends).  I watched them from toddler/primary years up until Stanley went away to college. When that group of young people were teens, they revamped the young people's choir (in the mid 1990s) and really found their own voice and their own place.  My brother was one of the lead singers and directors, and little Freddie was a director, drummer and was beginning to learn keyboarding.  I supported them like the proud big sister that I was. Then as time wore on, I got married and changed churches, they all began growing up themselves, getting married and having their own children.  So when I saw them all grown up on Saturday, particularly Stanley and Freddie, with their own families, I felt a burst of the pride that their mother must have felt every time she looked at them!  I marvelled that those same two little boys who used to come to church and sit with their mother were now grown up, married and parents to their own little ones who they take to church with them.  And that's not all - little Stanley is now a minister and little Freddie has his own gospel group!  I know Rochelle was proud and I am too!  So kudos to the now grown up White boys; you did your mother and all of your AFC family proud!  May God continue to bless you richly as you continue your mother's legacy of hard work for your church and instilling a solid value system in your own children!

Sunday I made it to second service at... wait for it... Victory Apostolic Church!  Pastor Singleton's sermon was on "Growing Up," which was so fitting given my experience the day before.  I will briefly touch on the things that stuck out in the message to me (The scripture text was Ephesians 4:11-16 for reference).  

• Growing up means living long enough to reach adulthood (in light of recent events in Chicago, we know that adulthood is not promised to all children);
• Grown ups accept responsibility without complaint and take responsibility for their own actions and the consequences thereof;
• Spirituality is a large part of growing up (1 Corinthians 3:1-3; Hebrews 5:12-14);
• Maturity in Christ is about how you submit yourself to God every day;
• He noted the 3 Hebrew boys of the old testament and how they were spiritually mature even though they were only 17 years old (See Daniel 3);
• Being spiritually mature means making decisions for God irrespective of the outcome (which is pleasing to God);
• Pastor Singleton also spoke of defining moments: they display what you are made of - they don't make you (the opposite of what is often stated today) - they are the intersections in life and others lives' are often impacted by your decisions (sometimes years later);
• live with foresight (looking forward to weigh the consequences to make good decisions today) instead of with hindsight (looking back and wishing for do overs);
• EVERYONE has their own "trial by fire;" even Jesus (when he went into the mountains after his baptism and was tempted by the devil) - while you can't control the fire itself, you can control what you do while in it!
• And after the fire, God will take you higher (see what happened to the 3 Hebrew boys in Daniel 3:30)

What  a great sermon!  And, just what I needed as I prepare to embark on some new chapters in my own life that will require even more growing up than I already have done. After church on Sunday, I signed up for Discipleship 101, the first class in Victory's 4-year Discipleship University.  I was all proud of myself; I didn't actually read the brochure until the next day and I found out that the class is 34 weeks.  Come again????  I was almost ready to pull out!  Which brings me to the second thing - I joined the "Journey Sisters" ministry at church (orientation meeting was on Monday night), where we will have accountability partners for support and encouragement as we work towards our personal goals for the next year.  When I went to the first meeting back in September, I was in such a bad place, but felt that it was where I needed to be.  Today, I'm in a much better place (been watching God move in my life as I have become a tad more spiritually mature and learned to yield in obedience), so I was looking forward to the meeting and just sharing more with the women of Victory (I don't really know a lot of people yet).  So I'm excited about my journeys - they will lead to more growing up, I'm sure.  The third thing, well, you're just going to have to wait for that!

So to everyone that is in the midst of your trial by fire, I say to you, just hold on.  I know firsthand that it is completely unbearable at times and you feel like you can't make it or take not one more step because you are just hurting and feel as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.  I've been there more times than I can count, especially in the last 2 years!   But I can promise you that He is there with you, every hard step of the way, and He will send people to you to encourage you.  Some days it's like the song from the old Santa Claus is Coming to Town cartoon:  "put one foot in front of the other," (you can hear it here for a bit of nostalgia).  Sometimes all you will be able to focus on is getting through the one day, real talk.  And that's ok.  One day at a time.  Being spiritually grown up puts you in the direct line of fire, but you have to go through the fire to have your testimony. So stay encouraged!

What does growing up mean to you these days??? Holla @ Darvi and share your thoughts. Have a blessed week! 

One of every parent's worst nightmares...

Happy Monday, blog land.  Hope that everyone had a great weekend. 

Not a lot of fluff today, so going right into today's post.

Nightmares.  Have you ever had a nightmare?  One that jarred you awake in the middle of the night, heart racing, sometimes sweating, disoriented and looking around as you try to calm yourself?  Nightmares so bad you were afraid to go to sleep at night?

It used to happen to me all the time when I was young and foolish and insisted on watching horror movies with my sister.  Let's just say that I learned that lesson for good more than 30 years ago...

But nightmares don't just come from horror movies.  If you're a parent, there are things that happen in this world that can rock you to your core and have you looking around corners during the day.  And those are things that happen to or threaten your children.  A sick child.  A dead child.  A missing child.

Separation from your child in a public place, especially when they are very small, is one of the most terrifying things that can ever happen to you as a parent.  Especially when you're a fairly new parent.  There is a panic that overtakes you first, then fear as the seconds turn into minutes.  You backtrack through the store, surreptitiously looking around, your eyes darting from side to side, silently praying as you scan every aisle, looking for your child.  As fast as your heart is beating and as panicked as you are, you try to stay calm as you search.  And usually just before you reach full scale alarm and are on your way to the service desk to have the store placed on lock down, you hear your name over the PA system as a lost parent who should report to the service desk.  You rush to the service desk and let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding, and a sense of relief fills you where panic just lived.  When you get there, you see your baby and you grab them into a big hug.  You check them out first to make sure they are ok and you thank the employees for finding him.  Then while you fuss at them about the dangers of wandering off and for scaring you half to death, you put them inside the back of the cart for safekeeping.  All's well and you continue on your day.

A happy ending to what isn't always a happy story; we all know the horrible things that can and have happened when a child is separated from a parent in this big scary world.  We know that there are bad people in the world who seek these situations (and create them at times) for no other reason than just being evil.  And we know that most of such stories don't have happy endings within a few minutes, if at all.

As your children grow and you can no longer put them in the cart to keep them safe, you still try to keep them tethered to you somehow, so you can keep an eye on them.  That works for awhile, until one day they are teenagers.  At that time, you provide them with cell phones and set curfews so that you do your best to keep them safe, even as they are growing and exploring the world and trying to find their place in it.  But what happens when you can't?

As I sit here writing this at 2:15 am, I am pondering that question.  You see, I am living one of every parent's worst nightmares right now - teenage edition.  The teen has stormed out in a huff after we got on his case and has been missing for about 4 hours now.  It's funny,. no matter how old they are, when they are separated from you, you still go through the same stages you did when they wandered off as preschoolers.  Your breathing is shallow and your heart is beating out of your chest.  You silently plead with God to bring your child home safely.  You wait, hoping they will just turn up.  You drive around and look for them.  You set up camp on the living room sofa, close to the front door with a lamp on, so you can be there when they come back. 

As more time passes, your panic grows.  Three hours in, you break down and finally call the police to file a report.  You find a recent photo of your child to give to the officer - the first one you find is from their last birthday.  In just a few minutes, your kid is now in the LEADS system as missing and you calmly sign the report.  On the inside, you are screaming.  Some tears come, but you wipe them away as you wait.  You sit, you unconsciously rocking back and forth as you wait.  You sit near the front so you can hear them if they come in.  If.  A small word with a host of unmentionable and unthinkable outcomes dangling on the other side of it.  Like I said, one of every parent's worst nightmares...

You figure you should read the bible or something as you wait, but you can't think of anything but the 23rd Psalm.  It doesn't comfort you.  You offer up dozens more prayers for the safe return of your baby while you are nursing a headache that threatens to become a full-on migraine.  You sigh and you take pen to paper instead (or maybe that's just what I did) as you wait...

To the casual observer, you probably seem overly calm for the situation as you scribble in your notebook.  You're not.  Your mind races through every moment of your child's life and you try to convince yourself that you've been a good parent while simultaneously trying not to be overcome by the things that go bump in the night and your baby out among them.  Without you to keep him safe.  You are truly at your wits' end as the time creeps towards 5 hours...

Rap, rap, rap - you hear a peck on the window.  You sit up quickly from where you must have dozed off on the sofa and you see your child's head peeping in the window.  You jump up, open the door and let your baby in.  It's now 4:30 am, and now you are finally breathing again...

You both sit down in silence.  You call the police back so they can take your child off the list, but he is now in the system.  The officer comes back and gives your child the same lecture you've been giving him for the past few years.  You wonder if it's sinking in this time.  When the officer leaves, you send your child to bed (it is now 5:20 am and the alarms start going off at 6 am to begin the day) and everyone collapses in bed, exhausted.

Blog land, I hope that none of you have experienced this teenage version of a parent's nightmare.  Believe you me, it is NOT fun.  In fact, it is even more frightening than the toddler edition.  I pray that all of your babies are safe and sound - give them an extra helping of love today and do your best to always keep them safe.

No question today; I'm wiped.  Just have a blessed week. 

xoxo  - Holla @ Darvi

EVERYONE in my house is FINALLY Back 2 School...

What day is it???? It's Hump Day - Wednesday!!!  Take a moment, wipe the sweat off your brow and take a deep breath because your week is half over!  

So I want to begin today by sharing a bit of good news- I start a new project assignment on Monday.  It may not seem like much, but it's actually HUGE around these parts!  So I am happy about that.  It's going to be a little hectic to prepare and I will have to leave home super early to get there, but I am ever so thankful for it!  

I also want to thank everyone who reads my posts.  That means so much to me and your comments make me smile!  I know they sometimes run the gamut (I warned of that in the intro that anything was fair game) but I try to always be my true, authentic self, even when it's not so pretty... So thank you!!!  I think I wanna do some sort of Random Act of Kindness (RAK); gotta figure that out a little more; stay tuned!

Back to the topic at hand - everyone is GONE!  *Doing my happy dance while seated at the computer with a cup of joe*  It's so quiet here after the flurry of morning activity.  And I can breathe and think without anyone calling my name or demanding something.  Lovely.

The Teen started school on Monday (which is actually late this year).  He is now a JUNIOR, making him officially an upperclassmen!  He's real laid back about it, and because he elected to go to public school instead of the fine private school I wanted, he gets to wear whatever he wanted (I relented since he's been in uniforms since he was 3 and the trek to the City for school would have been brutal on both of us... and I actually love his school).  I am so proud of him and hope that this is his best year ever!  I am looking forward to the things we have on deck for this year: continuing our driving lessons so he'll be ready to get his license come December, his 17th birthday next month, beginning our college visits so we're ahead of the curve for next year, those very rare moments when we connect over music, a television show or he actually wants/needs my input/advice - all of that!!!  So here's what the Teen's first day looked like (and I DO NOT understand this outfit at all, but he looks like all the rest of them from what I've seen):

So yeah.  Who knew that tall socks with shorts would make a comeback????  But there's my junior!  His first day went off without a hitch, except he was overly obsessed with whether the bus would come on time (it didn't last year...).  But all was well.

Today baby girl, otherwise known as the Tween, started school.  She's in 6th grade now, so the end of middle school (our schools are a little weird, her current school goes from 4th-6th grade, then the next school is 7th-8th grade, where most middle schools either start in 5th or 6th through 8th).  Did today go smooth? Hecky naw!  She is defiant to a fault sometimes; no matter what I say, she either does nothing or the complete opposite.  Drives me nuts!  Like yesterday (early, mind you) I told her to decide which bookbag she was going to use and take it to the office so we could start loading it up.  At 7:30 this morning, do you think it was done?  Nope... Told her to set the clock for 6:00, at 6:58 she was just getting up.  School started at 8:00... Then I realized I never got confirmation of her school schedule - which meant that I had to drive her today (now of course I was going anyway because I have to meet the teacher and all of that first day stuff, but still).  Then because she was moving so slowly, I didn't have time to fix her hair the way I wanted to.  *sigh*  But, we got the bag packed and her out of the house reasonably on time (we had to stop in the office anyway). So without further ado, here's my 6th grader:

Yes, I know the picture is fuzzy.  My camera was broken over the weekend and so now I'm relegated to taking photos with my phone until further notice.  And if she looks tall to you, she is!  She is officially taller than me and about the same height as her teacher!  Don't believe me?  Here she is with her teacher:  

See?  She is catching up to her brother; she is about to his jawline at the moment.  I'm hoping that her height slows down some.  I call her my Amazonian princess... Her school has a dress code, so that's why her outfit is so nondescript.  We are counting it down to when she can wear her own clothes to school!  I still find it hard to believe that she's in 6th grade sometimes; it seems like just yesterday we were starting Nursery 3 back at SCA (Salem Christian Academy) - the good old days!  I'm looking forward to more time with her also, as we explore our creative pursuits together (she's very talented, it's amazing sometimes).

So that's it.  Both of my not so little people are officially back in school!  No more shuttle service all over town going back and forth to summer camp and summer jobs, nope!  No more lazy evenings and late nights.  Back to bus schedules and early rising.  Back to life, back to reality (an ode to Soul II Soul, wanna listen?  Do so here.)  I pray that my children, and all of the other students, have a productive and safe year filled with learning new things and that they are fully prepared for what's to come.

So now I'm off to finish buying school supplies that I did not get and organizing the rest of my week.  Plus I have to start purging and packing and all of that good stuff in between the regular stuff I need to do (even though I haven't found a house yet).  Joy.  Back to reality for me too, lol!

Have all of your young people gone back to school (or are you yourself going back)? Either way, make it a great year!  Don't forget to "Holla @ Darvi!"  Be Blessed!

I don't like change...

Happy Friday to you all!  This weekend I am looking forward to celebrating my friend C-Rob's entry into Club 40!!!  She is such an awesome person and I hope she has the best birthday ever!!! 

I remember when I turned 40.  For the two years leading up to 40, I was so looking forward to it, planned a HUGE celebration and was looking forward to the next chapter of my life.  Until the week of my actual 40th birthday came.  That week found me super down, doubting myself and the many life choices I had made up to that point, and just dreading my birthday.  I felt like I wanted to go to sleep on the eve of my birthday and not wake up until the day after.  I had planned all this stuff and I didn't want to see anybody.  I just wanted to curl up in my bed and watch television.  That's when it first hit me - I don't like change.

I have never been fond of change, yet I've had to endure constant change during my life.  I had to change houses when we had a fire at our house when I was 8 and move to my grandparents house.  I had to adjust to wearing glasses in the 4th grade when rarely anyone else did.  I had to change schools in 6th grade to go to a new school, with new people, in a new neighborhood and take a bus.  My whole world changed when I went off to college.  My world changed again when I graduated from college and came back home to attend law school.  My world changed yet again when I got engaged, got married, bought a house and had a baby.  You get the idea.  Change happens. And yet, I'm almost never prepared for it and fight it every step of the way.

What is change?  Change is defined on dictionary.com as "to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion."  See the full definition here.  So I suppose it would look something like this in picture form:

Now, I'm not a moron. I understand that everything changes and everything has to change.  It just takes me a while to adapt to it and I don't like it.  I also don't like reprogramming my kids for whatever new change lies ahead.  It simply makes me tired...

Let's take moving as an example.  In my life, I've moved 16 times (this includes moving each year for college).  In the past 6 years, I've moved 2 times and am gearing up for another move now.  That's a lot of packing and unpacking.  It's also an adjustment to a new neighborhood, a new house and leaves me feeling unsettled.  I think that's the part that I dislike the most. 

There's also changes like watching your kids grow up.  That is the hardest pill to swallow.  When they are babies and small children, you just love them to pieces and pour everything into them.  Then you have to watch them grow up and change into tweens (and that is more than a notion if you have a daughter), then into teens and then prepare yourself for them leaving you and going off to college.  That's where I am now; the Teen is entering his junior year, so the time for him leaving the nest is close at hand.  And I don't like it one bit!  As much as I want him to grow  up and experience life and everything that comes with it, part of me still longs for the little boy who was my pride and joy, my baby.  In short order, I will go through the same thing with the Tween and I can't even begin to process THAT yet! 

But, when the time comes, I will adapt.  That's one of the two things that happens when change comes; you either adapt or you wither and die (not literally, but figuratively).  I just ran across a quote that I think befitting:  "The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists."  ~ Japanese Proverb  I'm striving to be more like the bamboo than the oak.  One of my favorite songs is Everything Must Change by Oleta Adams.  Others have sang it, but her version is my favorite.  She has a beautiful voice; you can listen to it here. 

So as I gear up to enter yet another new season in my life and the inevitable change it brings, I hope to embrace it rather than resist it.  At the end, I want it to look something like this:

 

I hope you will pray for me and wish me luck.  My mantra for this time of change is the serenity prayer; maybe it will help you as you go through your own seasons of change.

Am I the only one facing change?  Holla @ Darvi! Be Blessed and have a great weekend!!!