Whatever happened to Whimsy????

Happy Hump Day, everyone!!!  I hope everyone is having a great week thus far.

I am happy to report that I have recovered from staying up most of the night the other night and that things around these parts are better.  Everyone is dialoging a bit more, which is always a good thing (nothing beats open lines of communication with teenagers).  So many thanks to all of you that I know personally who did reach out after Monday's post, I sincerely appreciate you all.  Like I've said since the beginning, every day in Darv's world ain't pretty...

That being said, let's move on into today's subject- Whimsy.

Whimsy.  It is defined on dictionary.com as:

 noun, plural whimsies.

1. capricious humor or disposition; extravagant, fanciful, or excessively playful expression:

a play with lots of whimsy.

2. an odd or fanciful notion.

3. anything odd or fanciful; a product of playful or capricious fancy:

a whimsy from an otherwise thoughtful writer.

 

You're probably wondering where on earth I got this topic from, right?  It came from a conversation I was having with Urban Dude the other day about some silly song he was listening to.  Urban Dude, like me, has a very eclectic taste in music (him much more so than I) so you never know what's gonna pop up on the Ipod or Pandora radio.  So I asked him about some song that was playing because the lyrics were kinda goofy and he was explaining to me that it was just a "whimsical" song.  And then we rattled off the names of a few more whimsical songs and I asked the question - "Whatever happened to whimsy?"  I also told him I was going to write about it and ask you!  So here we are.

 

Just to illustrate what I mean by "whimsy" or "whimsical," here's a card I made a few years ago that has a touch of whimsy to it (and not ONE word about the color scheme!):

 

Pink card base - Making Memories, Dragonfly patterned paper - CTMH, Flowers - Prima,
Chipboard Embie - Lil Davis Designs, Brad- Making Memories

 

 

 

Now, I always thought this was a cute card (never did find anyone to give it to), lighthearted and playful - whimsical!  And here's a page I did about six months ago celebrating a visit to a park last summer:

Patterned Paper - Bo Bunny, Alphabet Letters - American Crafts, Butterfly - Prima, Journaling Card



Say it with me - Whimsical!  And who can't help but love the whimsical touches in the movie "There's Something About Mary?" That is one of my favorite movies, by the way.  You can find out all about it here. 

 

So what of these whimsical songs that sparked it all?  I'm glad you asked!  Here is my most favorite whimsical video in the world; it's called "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" by Train (you have to see the video!!!! you can do so here).  The lyrics are a hoot!  And for you old schoolers, who doesn't remember "You Be Illin'" by Run DMC?  Check out this fan-created, animated video for the song here.  That song was always so funny to me!  (Ok, I have to admit I just got distracted for a minute on You Tube listening to 80s rap... right now listening to LL Cool J "I'm Bad" which video looks very funny with 2015 eyes)...

 

But you get the point, right?  These days everything is so serious, so heavy that sometimes you just want something, dare I say it, FUN.  No hidden meanings, no ulterior nothing, just fun for the sake of being fun.  I feel sorry for the kids today, they don't get to experience whimsy.  They are exposed to much too much, and expected to grow up much too fast.  I don't know about you, but I think that's really shameful, so I'm going to do my best to infuse more whimsy into my life and the lives of those around me!!!

 

So what say ye - do you miss whimsy (or is it just me)???  Holla @ Darvi!  As always, be blessed!

 

When "they" smile in your face...

Good glorious Monday to you, blog world!  I hope you all had a great weekend!  I had a blast at my friends' anniversary party on Saturday!  The only bad thing was I got home so late that I didn't make it to church on Sunday and I hate missing church because I really need the message to guide my upcoming week. 

I was able to sneak in some creative projects on Friday night/Saturday afternoon.  I finished the wall art for the new baby (finally!  she was born last week and has a name, yeah!) and quickly put together a jewelry project that I wanted to wear Saturday night.  They both came out pretty nice, I think:

This is the framed page for the new baby; since the last photo I added her name
 in glitter cardstock and another butterfly (thinking of adding some photo corners).

This is a quick necklace and bracelet combo which used dyed howlite in the necklace
(wasn't happy with the pendant I got from Michael's though; might have to talk to them about
it) and reconstructed turquoise in the bracelet (loved how it came out!).

So onto the subject of this post, when "they" smile in your face.  Um, yeah.  You know what that's all about.  The O'Jays had a word for it:  BACKSTABBERS.  They even wrote a song about it, listen to it here.

 

 

 

No one likes it when they discover that they have fake friends.  Haven't met a person yet who counts that as a good day. 

 

 

 

 

How does this happen???  Most times, the "friendee" is oblivious to what is going on around them because folks do a good job masquerading (so totally off subject, but I love the song "This Masquerade" by George Benson.  You can listen to it here).  Oftentimes, the "friendee" learns quite by accident that their "friends" are fake.  A situation arises and a good Samaritan brings it to the "friendee's" attention what is really going on.  Let me tell you this:  when one finds out that people who pretended to their friend is not, it can knock the wind out of them.  There are a lot of thoughts and emotions that run through one's mind:  hurt, disappointment, anger, but the biggest of them all is BETRAYAL.  And that's a bit harder to overcome.  It also can sometimes take a long time to get over.  One doesn't know who to trust or how to move in their social circle anymore because of fake friends and sometimes it can lead to a lonely existence.  

 

So how do you know how to spot a fake friend?  Believe it or not, the Bible offers some guidance on this, so let's go:

 

1)   Psalm 55:21 "His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war"

 

2)  Proverbs 26:23-25 " Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot."

 

3)   Psalm 41:9  "Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me."

 4)   Psalm 55:12-15 "For it is not an enemy who taunts me then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng. Let death steal over them; let them go down to Sheol alive; for evil is in their dwelling place and in their heart."

5)  Jeremiah 20:10 For I hear many whispering. Terror is on every side! “Denounce him! Let us denounce him!” say all my close friends, watching for my fall. “Perhaps he will be deceived; then we can overcome him and take our revenge on him.”

Who knew, right???  So the question becomes what to do when you discover that you have been betrayed by someone you thought was your friend?

This is a tough one actually.  But I will do my best to answer that question:

1) DO feel.  It's ok to feel; you don't have to act like Teflon in that everything rolls off of you.  You get cut, you bleed. Everyone does, and it's ok to feel.  If you journal, you might want to write about it or even write the offender a letter explaining how you feel (don't send it; it's the exercise itself that is cathartic). 

2) DON'T seek revenge.  It's so very hard because you feel wronged and you want to make it stop.  But will that really solve the problem or create new ones?  Usually that will create new ones, so as hard as it might be, you really do have to turn the other cheek on this one...

3) DO seek wise counsel from a true friend.  You will want and need to talk about it, so do.  But be sure that the person you are talking to is wise and will listen without judgment and offer good advice.

4) DON'T put yourself in other situations to be hurt again or taken advantage of by the same person(s).  Be smart about your associations in the face of the situations and make adjustments where necessary.  You may have to leave your social circle altogether depending on how bad the situation is.  While that is sad on the one hand, if all of your so-called friends aren't true friends, have you really lost anything?

5) DO find solace in the Word.  If you've been betrayed, take heart, you're in good company!  Jesus was betrayed by one of his disciples and taken to a bogus trial that ended in His death.  Luke 22:47-48 While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”

6) DON'T feel bad for cutting your ties with the offenders.  You have every right to surround yourself only with people who like, love, support and uplift you.  Those are the kinds of people you want in your life, not fake ones anyway.

7) DO give yourself time to heal.  It will likely take a minute and that's ok too.  You don't owe anyone any explanation about why you need to step away from certain situations or people, just do what you need to do in order to feel better.

8) DO pray about it.  Whether you think you are experiencing such a situation or you know that you are, pray that God will open your eyes, grant you discernment and protect you from your enemies.  Also pray for guidance on how to deal with it.

9) DO forgive them.  I know this is the hardest one of them all, but you have to do it.  Remember that part of the Lord's Prayer I cited last week?  It still applies; you need to forgive your trespassers.  I know it hurts, but forgive them anyway.  If you say it every day (whether out loud or in your heart) that you forgive [insert fake friend's name here], eventually you actually will and it won't even matter anymore.

10) DON'T keep thinking about it.  This is hard.  As much as you might want to put it behind you, you won't be able to right away.  Because you will be angry and hurt.  Eventually though, it will fade away (it might take a long time though, it definitely won't be overnight).

I hope that this has been helpful; Lord knows I had to dig deep to write this one!

So what do you do when "they smile in your face?"  Am I on the right track with what I'm suggesting here?  Holla @ Darvi!  Have a great week and be blessed!!!

Some thoughts on the notion of "Perfection..."

Happy Tuesday (yeah, I know.  I'm getting really, really bad about not pre-writing, but sometimes what I PLAN to write about isn't what I'm LED to write about.  So just bear with me sometimes, I am learning to be obedient... [that is another post entirely!]).  

I hope that everyone is doing well.  I'm in a hectic time right now, lots of things happening at once and not enough time to get everything done!  Which means that emails don't get sent, calls don't get returned, texts are forgotten and blog posts aren't written...

What does all that mean?  It means that try as I may, no matter how hard I try, I'm not perfect.  I don't always have it all together.  Some days (ok, this is me, EVERY day) I start with a grand to-do list and all these ideas on what I'm going to accomplish that day.  Yeah. Then the Tween has an epic slow down and my morning plans are shot (happened today). Or I run into an old friend and we end up chatting for an hour when I (finally) dropped the Tween off at camp (also happened today).  So my morning start got pushed back almost 2 hours, and I have a full afternoon already (not to mention another last minute thing thrown into the mix this morning but I had to add it, class tonight and yesterday's undone tasks!)... you get the idea.

So I'm not perfect.  It's one of my major faults.  I'm actually just, wait for it... HUMAN.  And I accept that.  In fact, I accepted it a long time ago.  It just seems that other people I come into contact with can't, don't and won't accept it.  They are unwilling to extend the benefit of the doubt.  They appear to be unable to accept shortcomings and humanness.  Newsflash: the last time I checked, we were all human (unless I'm in contact with some alien life forms that I was unaware of...).  Meaning that we are all imperfect beings.

What does this mean?  It means, folks need to adjust their unrealistic expectations.  You know, those that are quick to demand perfection but in return expect grace for their missteps, mistakes and imperfectness.  The idea that real life doesn't happen to other people, just themselves.  Those that are quick to point out someone's shortcomings and criticize, but are unwilling to lend a hand or become a part of the solution.  You know those people...we all do.

So today, August 11, 2015, I make this grand announcement to the world:  I AM NOT PERFECT!  There, I said it!  Nor will I pretend to be... I can only be what I am, human, and with that comes mistakes and shortcomings.  If you are to be in my world on any level, then you must accept and expect that.  And either you will extend grace, mercy and forgiveness in those instances, or not.  There's always a choice.  

You know I love a good list, so here's a good place for one.  Reasons why you should accept humanness in others:

1) The Lord's Prayer says:  "...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..."   How do you expect grace and forgiveness if you won't give it????

2) Which leads to number two, you never know when you will need grace for your humanness... Let that marinate for a minute.

3)  The bible also says this:  "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  Matthew 7:5 (NIV)

(Image from here).

Which means that you should examine yourself before you examine others.

4) My grandmother used to say this:  "every time you point one finger at someone else, there are three point back at you."  

5) Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.  Enough said.

6) Last but not least, no one is perfect.  It's as plain and simple as that!  I just saw this on Pinterest last night and it actually inspired this post (along with some real-life drama going on):

(Image from Pinterest, but originally from here).

So what am I saying?  Cut folks some slack sometimes!!!  You never know what a person is going through, just by looking at them.  Everyone doesn't wear their issues on their sleeves and smiles hide a lot of pain and stress sometimes.  

Take me for instance.  I know there are people who think/feel that I have disappeared or just fell off the face of the earth right now.  No, not so much.  But I am dealing with some life things at the moment that are terribly important and take everything within me to manage. Like this:  today marks 741 days of unemployment for me.  That is pretty major.  But I thank God that we are still standing (bent at this point, but standing, nonetheless).  That being said, when you say your prayers (if you are a prayer-type of person), say one for me and my family that our finances continue to hold during this season (and I thank you in advance).

Ok, got that off my chest, and maybe it will help someone who is going through this also from the perspective of being judged or maybe you are the judger.  Either way, I hope it inspires you to examine yourself.

On a side note, this past weekend I had the opportunity to spend some time with a group of talented ladies that I just "met" via Meetup, The Creative Southsiders.  It was a pleasure to meet them and see the things they were working on (forgot to take pictures - next time) and it gave me some much needed downtime as well.  I worked on the wall piece for the new baby (unfinished because her name hasn't been finalized yet), and some scrapbook pages. I really needed the  break, so many thanks to The Creative Southsiders for having me!!! Here's what I worked on:

Here's the wall art for the new baby; I saved space for her name and more embellishments.  I used paper from American Crafts Play line (from 2007...), some bling trim from Michael's, the "princess" sticker from an old Pebbles kit, the 3-D princess sticker is also from Pebbles, cardstock from Bazzill and Die Cuts with a View, flowers from Prima and Bazzill and butterfly stickers from Jolee's.

This page is adorbs!  It features my nephew and great nephew!  I used primarily papers from Heidi Swapp's September Skies line, cardstock from Close to My Heart (outdoor denim, my all-time favorite navy cardstock), stickers and flag pennant from Basic Grey, foam letters and ribbon from American Crafts, some small star stickers from Studio Calico, and a random star that I had in my stash (I think it's from Creative Imaginations).  It's my favorite page of the day!

I'm not quite finished with this page; but I only had limited supplies with me.  This features the Tween's very first eye appointment in 2009!  I used papers by Carta Bella (So Noted Collection), cardstock from Close to My Heart (bamboo, my all-time favorite neutral cardstock), a flair button from Basic Grey, and a really old flower embellishment.  Still needs a little more embellishing though...

Welp, you know that to-do list I was talking about???  I have to get to back to it now.  Thank you so much for reading my blog and for your encouraging comments, emails, texts and Facebook messages!  I am humbled that my little posts inspire folks sometimes.  So thank you.  I am on bloglovin' now, so you can follow me there.  It's actually very neat, you can follow all of the blogs you read in one place.  Check it out here.  

But back to the subject of this post just for a second.  Just remember to give folks the benefit of the doubt sometimes, you never know what they are dealing with.  That's all I'm saying. Do you agree?  Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed!!!

Left Brain vs. Right Brain

Happy Wednesday, everyone!  

Today we're gonna talk brains.  Yep.  That age-old discussion about whether you are right-brained or left-brained.  

For many years, I never thought of myself as creative.  I mean, I don't draw all that well (although I can color a mean picture with some fresh Crayolas!) and I just never actually did anything remotely creative.  I mean, I like to read, I like making lists and planning down to the very last detail (have a touch of OCD in that regard) and I think very logically and linear - usually.  Even my profession (lawyer) yielded itself to functioning mostly left brain.  Truly a left brain person.

Then, something happened, about 12 or so years ago... I started watching HGTV and fell in love with the design shows that were on at the time:  Divine Design, Mission Organization, Design on a Dime, Decorating Cents, Designed to Sell, to name a few.  Also I watched Trading Spaces on TLC.  On those shows I saw the most AMAZING house and room transformations ever!  And I was inspired to try and recreate some of the things they did on television (on a budget, of course!  I mean, who can really spend $800 on a comforter set??? not I, not I).  And you know what?  I liked it.  And was pretty good at it.  

I had a lot of input into designing things for the first home I had built with my then-husband back in 2002, including lighting, windows and other aesthetic touches to differentiate my house from the neighbors (we lived in a subdivision with a lot of similar homes).  And when it came time to paint, I drew upon the different design shows and painstakingly chose colors (tried out paint samples, taped swatches to the wall, and all that).  And it turned out pretty good.  Normally this is where I would insert a picture, but I don't have any handy since that was such a while ago.  You can trust me though!

And that is how my love of all things home decor was born.  There is nothing I like better than scouring stores for new items to add to my home's decor:  decorative boxes, interesting storage pieces, art work, throw pillows, rugs - you name it!  The best part is bringing the new piece home, placing it and feeling immense satisfaction of the item being simply PERFECT! That's a great feeling.  And nothing I like better... except crafting.

Crafting has become, over the years, my ultimate guilty pleasure.  It started with scrapbooking back in 2004 after the Tween was born.  I was at a friend's house, who had also just given birth to a little bundle of joy, and she was showing us the scrapbook she made of her pregnancy.  I was hooked!  Now, up until that point, the only "scrapbooking" I had ever done was for my sorority scrapbook when I pledged back in 1990 and periodically adding to it over the years.  But nothing like what I saw that day.  The next day, I went to Michaels and started buying stuff.   I came home that night and sat down at the seldom-used dining room table and started scrapbooking.  Now, because I doubted my creativity and feared messing up, I figured the safest bet for me to start was to play with redoing my sorority scrapbook (it only had two colors, so pretty hard to mess up).  I think I scrapbooked every day that week and went to store just as many times.  The dining room looked like a craft studio!

After a few weeks of that, I was brave enough to take a stab at doing baby books for the Teen and Tween.  Yes, the Teen was then 5 but I had all of his baby photos in albums, in chronological order and labeled.  The Teen was still an arm baby, so her new little life was happening in the moment.  So I took on the monumental task of beginning baby books for both of them simultaneously.  And thus my eternal love of scrapbooking was born.

It has truly been an adventure over the past 11 years, and I dare say it is still going strong.  I have attended conventions, retreats (even one down in Atlanta) and monthly crops (gatherings of scrapbookers where we work on projects, think book club without the books). I have hosted online scrapbooking groups, organized monthly and quarterly crops.  I have even sold scrapbooking supplies.  Here is some recent things I've done featuring the Tween and Teen when they were much younger:

   (Please pardon my messy work area in the background!)

Last year I added a new hobby to the mix - jewelry making.  Now, I went and took a class at Michaels because I wanted to learn to make some stretchy bracelets; I never dreamed that I would become that interested or inspired by it!  I have grown to love it so much that it rivals scrapbooking!  Here are a few things I've done fairly recently:

I think these things are pretty cute, if I do say so myself!  I do have some newer stuff, but I'm not posting any photos as I'm getting things ready for a launch party (more info about that in another post).  

Why am I talking about all of these things?  I'm glad you asked!  Because I'd been locked into the notion that I was purely left brain for so long that I never ventured to do anything creative because I didn't think I could.  But guess what I learned?  That I DO have some creative bones in my body!  I can make pretty things!!!  

My experience is not a new one; in fact it's supported by scientific fact that there is no such thing as being all left-brained or all right-brained.  This myth arose in the 1960s from the research of Dr. Roger Sperry and has unfortunately, convinced many people that they were unable to do certain things because of being labeled as right-brained or left-brained.  The fact is that we are all "whole brained" and both sides of our brain work in tandem. See more info here.  Now, which side we feed more is another story.

What am I saying?  Don't allow yourself to be limited by a silly stereotype.  All you button-down shirt types like I was, pick up a pen and some paper and start doodling.  Why? Because you can!  All you musical and artsy types, work on those math problems.  Why? Because you can!  If I can do it, so can you!  

What about you, have you stayed away from certain activities or professions because you though you were solely right-brained or left-brained?  How did you overcome that (or have you)?  Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed!