Showing posts with label Pastor Varnado. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pastor Varnado. Show all posts

Monday, February 29, 2016

Financially Grounded...

Hey Blogland!  Yep, this is really real, two posts back-to-back!!!  I'm trying to figure out a better schedule, but I've been a bit overwhelmed with this contract work, class/homework, being a mom, trying to do some measure of housework - you get the idea.  I sometimes feel busy and yet can't really account for time (although I know I did something, lol!).  And I've been spending some time catching up and keeping up with old friends and embracing new ones.  I have been able to start saving money again (imagine that!) and have just been looking back at all that I have been through and thanking God!  My life was so very different just 6 months ago...

Today (Saturday the 27th), I was going through the notes in my Evernote account (I love that app by the way, it was created for nerds like me who live by notes and whatnot... check it out, it is online and has apps that sync across devices!  Check it out here).  Anyway, I digress.  I was going through the notes in my Evernote account and I ran across something I wrote just slightly more than a year ago, February 3, 2015, to be exact.  I reread it, and it scared me.  It scared me for a number of reasons:  1) just how bad things were, 2) that I had the courage to even admit some of those things to myself, and 3) the level of despair/hopelessness that I felt.  Today I am so far from that dark place that it feels like it was a whole lifetime ago, but it really wasn't.  All I can do is just thank God, for I know it was truly by His grace that I survived those dark times.  Reminds me of another old-school gospel song that we used to sing at my childhood church, "How I Got Over."  The lyrics in a partial form (as I recall them, I'm not going to look them up):  "How I got over, How I got over my Lord.  My soul looks back and wonder, how I got over my Lord."  That's what I'm feeling right now.

Anyway, something else jumped out at me in that note that I want to talk about today. Something that most people don't like to talk about and is certainly taboo in most African-American households:  FINANCES.  




Now, don't run and hide in the corner, I'm going to share my personal testimony with you and my reflections on Bishop TD Jakes' Grounded in Finances sermon with you today and hopefully someone will be blessed by it.  I'm going to break from my normal format and share my testimony first, then the Bishop's sermon.  This will be kinda long, so I apologize in advance, but I'm being led to share it, so here we go...!

In that note from just over a year ago, I had written about the severe financial crisis that was ever present in my life at that time, and I decided to share that here to drive home the topic of this here post.  I am warning you in advance that some  *SUPER TRANSPARENCY* is about to happen, but I am sharing it, ok, I might edit some things because I do know some of you in real life..., but here I am, embracing my imperfect life):  


"I owe you lots. For starters, I lost my job in 2013- my last 'official' day was July 31, 2013. I haven't had a job since. I have applied to jobs, had two interviews in the course of a year and a half. I have been temping off and on since November.

The last of my money (savings & deferred compensation funds that I converted to an ira) ran out in September 2014. Unemployment ended in February 2014 ( a year ago). I have about $40 to my name ($10 in checking, $20 in checking, & $10 cash)... but I owe the Tween $20.  I am two, about to be three months behind on my car note, most of our utilities are scheduled for shutoff (although I did apply for ceda - utility help for low income people for gas and electricity). I wake up everyday afraid that we won't have lights, heat or water."

There was more, but you get the idea.  Maybe I'll share the rest one day.  Anyhoo, just reading that today, gave me pause and all I could do is look towards heaven and say "Thank You."  I'm not where I want to be, but I certainly ain't where I've been!  And thank God that I don't look like what I've been through!!!  I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with being grounded in finances, right?  I'm glad you asked!  Let's go to the sermon, from January 24, 2016, "Grounded in Finances."  If you want to see it for yourself, here is 
the link.  His text came from Ecclesiastes 10:19, 7:12.

He started out with one of the most profound truths I have heard about money (especially in this country):  "We have a culture of buying what we want and begging for what we need."
Ouch!  Ready?  Let's go!

Check out 1 Timothy 6:5-10, and here are Bishop's points on the subject of money:


  • we have to follow purpose, not profit;
  • -there must be BALANCE in our attitude towards money;
  • -we have to learn to need money without loving it;
  • -tithes break the curse of loving money - it makes your "stuff" bow down;
  • -God is looking for people to bless:
    •  someone who will worship Him with their resources;
    • your profits bow to purpose when you pay tithes and offerings;
    • when we worship through our resources, we are saying that He is worth more than what He has given us;
    • when you say the giver is more valuable than the gift, He will always give you more things! (he had an awesome example in here of a time when he bought his wife a gift, and her appreciation made him want to buy her even more things)
  • God doesn't need, but our financial gifts show what He's worth to us 
    • See Haggai 1:5-11
    • Hidden idols lead to hidden judgment:  when you leave God out of your finances, holes are cut in your pockets...
    • you can only be blessed by divine permission
  • if you approach this year emotionally, instead of intellectually, you will miss His blessings this year
    • get your heart of money and put your mind to money!
  • (And here is the thing that made me cry as I heard it, because I have lived it):  When the enemy brings a curse, he sends the spirit of depression;
  • God will give you a strategy; for every problem in finances, you need a strategy;
  • He gives you the resource, what you do with it is your gift back;
  • (And then he finished with this): Be awesome on your level - don't try to keep up with the Joneses (or anyone else)!
What a sermon, right?  Once again, I'm sure I didn't do it justice, so if it peaks your interest, you can check out the whole thing using the above link.  If you still don't get where I'm going yet, go back to the very beginning of this post when I said "I have been able to start saving money again (imagine that!)."  Then go back and re-read the excerpt from my post from last February... Those are two distinct situations, one on each end of the spectrum (well, I'm not quite at the opposite end of the spectrum, but a lot closer than I was on that day when the burden of financial hardship was weighing heavily on me).  And let's keep it real, in order for us to "save" money, for most people that means that we have taken care of EVERYTHING else first... So how did I get here?  That's where the rest of the testimony comes in...

So over the time I've had this blog, I've been pretty transparent with things going on in my world.  Although I would wager a guess that not very many of the people who know me knew that all of that was going on.  And that's ok, everything isn't always to be shared with other people, however, I believe that testimonies are to be shared, for the purpose of help, encouragement, upliftment and just general thanks and glory to God.  So that's why I do it (am doing it).  

The middle of February 2015 brought some financial ups:  I took on an hourly client with a retainer (about a week after that post), and that brought about some immediate financial relief;  my real estate clients/closings picked up a bit, which also brought some relief.  Some, not all.  But it did help to restore my faith and get me out of that dark place.  Fast forward to the move (early/mid September).  I was in a panic, not sure how I was going to take care of the finances at the new place and I was anxious.  On a particularly bad day (I mean full of tears, the ugly cry kind) out of sheer desperation, I called my church and made an appointment with Pastor Varnado, who is in charge of our help ministries (I believe this is correct).  Anyway, I sat in her office and tried to explain to her everything that was going on, what I was feeling and I remember crying.  A lot.  She in turn shared some things with me from her own life, situations that were just as difficult, if not more so than the ones I was facing, all to illustrate where God has brought her and her family from.  Being honest, I heard her, but sometimes when you are in the middle of life drama, you can listen without hearing because the depth of your issues are clouding everything over.  At the end of our talk, she asked me if there was anything in the world she could do for me, what would that be.  And I told her my concerns about being able to pay the October rent, because although there was "future" money in the pipeline, I didn't know if it would be here in time.  Now, I had no idea I was going to say that nor was I prepared for what happened next.  I got a call in the next few days that Pastor Singleton had been told of my situation and that they were going to take care of it.  I was in complete shock and could do nothing but cry and thank God.  

Meanwhile, I had just finished up my One-on-One Discipleship Class, which I discussed with Pastor Varnado, and she encouraged me to go back through the prayer lesson and begin to pray specific petitions (again).  We talked about other stuff, but today we're just focusing on finances...  Anyway, I did, and in my prayers, it came back to my remembrance how I had strayed from being a consistent tithes-payer over the years, and I cringed a bit.   I used to have it in my budget and do it like clockwork, no matter what.  Then things got tight financially and I stopped being consistent.  Then I just stopped.  Then I started back on a percentage basis.  (Yeah, all types of foolishness...) Then I had nothing to pay tithes with... And then I did everything I could think of, which didn't work... (more foolishness).

So I repented.  And I promised God that going forward, I would pay tithes on everything I earned and that I would just "stop" and rely on Him.  That was in the middle of September, I believe.  I had two phone interviews with recruiters, both on the same day (about the end of September) and I got a call back from one of them the next day, indicating that they wanted me to come in for a face-to-face interview, which I did.  Forty-five minutes later, I was called back to say I had been selected for an upcoming project.  That project started in October, and I've been with them ever since (on different projects, but the same company).  And I've kept my word to God, cheerfully and thankfully, and He's kept His Word to me:  I have been blessed financially beyond belief!  Need specific examples?  Here you go:

  • I was able to prepay 6 months of my rent in a lump sum in November 2015;
  • During such an extended period of unemployment, some things ended up in collection; it happens.  I've been able to get most of those things paid off in full;
  • I've been able to do "extra" things for the kids;
  • I've been able to be a financial blessing to others;
  • My bills are paid;  
  • I've been able to put money in my savings account, which had a balance of $22 in September 2015...; and
  • I haven't had to balance my checkbook or pennypinch at all; I've been able to do the things I want and need to do, with 80% of my take home (I do 10% tithes and 10% savings).  
Why am I sharing all of this?  Good question, I am generally not one for sharing all my business, but God has taken me outside of my comfort zone in this medium.  But I don't mind sharing if it helps someone else.  So what I believe my testimony is with this post is to a) show you they physical manifestation of where God has brought me from, so that you will know that no matter the depth of the financial crisis you find yourself in at the moment, He hears and He still delivers;  and b) the blessings of tithing and changing my attitude towards money (and jobs, for that matter).  So to anyone in blogland who is facing a financial challenge (I mean when you really don't know where your next dollar is coming from), keep praying.  As Pastor Singleton has said, sometimes God allows things to happen to us so we stop relying on ourselves and learn to rely on Him for everything.  Because He is the source of, well, everything!  And also so that when He delivers you from it, you will know it was Him that did it.

That's where I am.  I know that for all of this to happen in the course of a year, it was nothing but Him.  And so today I stand (ok, really sit in front of my computer) before you and unequivocally say that I am "Grounded in Finances."

I apologize for such a long post (and I'm supposed to be getting ready for hostessing duties at the moment but I had to finish), but I think it's important to share our testimonies.  This is new for me, but I pray that someone reading this will be encouraged and will share their testimony when their breakthrough comes.  

So how about it - did this help anyone??? Holla @ Darvi and let me know!  Have a great week and be blessed!

xoxoxo

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Reflections on 2015...


Hello Blogland! I hope that everyone had a great Christmas!!! I did not get back to posting before the holiday; it got completely too busy! I had the family over for Christmas Eve and it was just great to spend time with everyone.  The kids and I had a quiet Christmas morning and when we were finally ready to head out, my car wouldn't start!  So our plans had to change... Spent Saturday at Pep Boys- - 6 hours and $221 hours later...So yeah, it was an eventful weekend!

I did have the stress test done on last Wednesday, everything appears to be fine (thank God!) and I had blood work done as well to try and determine the source of these blood pressure surges.  Thankfully I experienced no problems over the holiday weekend and was able to enjoy the holidays.  Hopefully all continues to be well on the health front.

So it's the time of year where I (along with most other people) start to reflect on the closing year and looking forward to the coming year.  This year, since I have this medium, I will share some of my reflections on 2015 with you. 

Generally, each year I put together a list of "intentions" (I gave up resolutions many moons ago because I never, ever kept them); my intentions then evolved into a super convoluted exercise called "Plan 180 - 20__," which was actually great for my OCD mind.  (More on that in a separate post).  It is always a written plan; if I'm really feeling good, I'll even type it.  And sometimes, sometimes I actually comment and track on it during the year just to see how I'm doing.  I didn't journal much this year, but I can still reflect and comment on my year 2015...

A year ago found me in a peculiar place:  stressed to the hilt about finances, overtaxed in "busyness," trying to maintain a relationship that was going downhill fast, hanging onto some friendships that were probably better left alone, and really off my square spiritually. I was a MESS!  I had joined my church, but even living only 5-7 minutes away, I was still only half attending and not at all involved.  And I believe that my life reflected my lack of spiritual connectedness...

One thing that I do each year (have done since 2006 or 2007) is to choose a Word of the Year (you may be familiar with it also as "One Little Word;" more on that in another post), and this year I chose the word "Be."  I wrestled with "joy," "peace," "faith," but at the end of the day, I chose "Be."  Meaning that throughout 2015, whatever came my way, I would "be" in the moment and experience it in real time. 

Another thing I decided to do (in addition to my usual weight loss goals, professional goals, and the like was to set some concrete spiritual life goals.  Now, I do set some spiritual goals every year from the apparently next to impossible (I'm going to read the whole Bible this year) to the lazy that I should be able to handle with no problem (I'm going to make it to church every Sunday unless sick or out of town), but this year was different.  This year, my goal was to recommit myself back to my faith. 

When I decided to start this journey, I had no idea how it was going to be accomplished or manifested, nor did I know what I was going to have to give up to do it!  But here, today on December 29, 2015, I can say that it has truly been a journey, and though I would have liked less thorns along the way, I believe I am a better person for starting this journey and seeing it through.  So what all did I do this year?  I'm glad you asked!

So the first thing I did was to seriously check myself on my lackluster church attendance!  I mean, one of the main reasons I changed churches was to be closer so that I could attend, but I still wasn't doing it!  I had to go back to my grandmother's rule:  If you can do what you want to do all week long, SURELY you can get up and take yourself to God's house on Sunday...!  I will need to check my notebook to see how well I did in reality, but it was with intention this year that I was determined to make every Sunday that I could.  And you know what?  Each and every time that I went, without fail, the sermon blessed and spoke to me. 

The second thing I did was to work on my lackluster prayer life... which still needs a LOT of work, but it is so much more than it was a year ago!  I have a dedicated prayer journal area in my FAITH notebook, and I do keep my specific prayers and answered prayers there.  I can definitely look back at it and see where God has answered prayers for me, my family, and friends. 

Next, I decided it was time to get more involved in church and meet some people.  This was easier said than done, I am an introvert and am not one to just start talking to people!  I had my one sister friend/soror at church (Pam) and some other sorors I'd see here and there and that was it.  I took my time with this one, because I didn't want to just add more busyness to my world but wanted all of my actions to be meaningful.  That being said, as you already know, in the summer of 2015 I took the One-on-One Discipleship class (10 weeks from July- September) and I truly enjoyed it!  I grew spiritually, and I met some great people.  Due to a personal matter, I had the opportunity to meet with Pastor Brenda Varnado, one of our spiritual care pastors, in early September, and that meeting has changed my life.  She took me and my children under her wing, and personally saw to it that I met some people!  We got the Tween connected to the dance ministry and the young adult choir, and I just met some outstanding people in general.  In addition, Pastor Varnado was a crucial part of me making it through a very difficult time in my personal life in 2015.  For that, I am forever grateful.  The next thing I did was to join the "Journey Sisters" ministry- it is an accountability partner ministry where you share one or more goals with your journey sister (and vice-versa) and they take the journey with you in 2016 and hold you accountable to reaching your goals.  It's like having your own personal cheerleader and drill sergeant in one!  And my journey sister?  Of all people, I am hooked up with Evangelist Darice Whitted, who is head of the Women's Ministry at Victory.  (See what I mean about that prayer thing?  What are the odds?).  I love her to life and I am super excited about our journey!  But anyway, through this ministry, I've met some outstanding women and I am proud to know them!  I also joined the Outreach Ministry (VOICE) and I LOVE IT!  Again, this expanded my network at the church as well.  Last but not least, I decided to start Discipleship University, a 4-year program offered at Victory.  My classes for Discipleship I begin on January 11, 2016, so stay tuned...

Looking back, I can truly say that it is in this area that I grew the most in 2015.  And by staying committed to my goal, I was able to hear God, and that has been more priceless to me than anything else!  Oh sure, having answered prayers is magnificent (and he showed up and showed out on that too), but being able to hear?  Nothing like it! 

In hearing God this year, I had to give up some things that were near and dear to my heart because they were distracting me from my commitment.  I have alluded to this several times in my postings this year, but now I'm ready to state them.  It was almost a tug of war situation; I really didn't want to let go, but God promised me so much more if I did.  Finally, He made me so uncomfortable that I had no choice but to let go of it all and then he opened the floodgates of blessings and positivity into my life and allowed me to experience the greatest of his gifts:  Hope, Joy and Peace.  What are those things that I had to give up?  Here they are, in no particular order:  my sorority (I was the chapter president at the time); my relationship with Urban Dude; and some "friends."  Yikes, right?  But what have I gained?  Time.  Time to, honestly, just "Be."  See how my word has come full circle???  Do I miss those things?  Sometimes, yes, but I am determined not to move until He tells me to, and in order to do that, I must be able to hear, and I must stay committed... you get the picture. 

So what does my life look like at the end of 2015?  Much, much quieter!  Not necessarily less busy, but I find that I can choose better which activities to spend my time on, and it's not so much work.  Also, I have been able to cultivate and renew friendships with some amazing women this year that I would not have had time for otherwise... 

As we bring 2015 to a close, I keep getting news of tragedies in my friends' and family's lives, and I am thankful to be here and for all that me and my family were blessed with this year (especially the second half of the year).  In the past 2 days, I have gotten hit with news of 3 deaths and none of them were elderly.  So my heart is heavy with grieving for my friends and family on their losses during this time.  That being said, I am even more thankful for all that has transpired in 2015, the good, the bad and even the ugly! 

And now I turn the microphone to you - how did 2015 treat you????  Holla @ Darvi,  and let's talk about it!  Be Blessed!!!

xoxoxo