Reflections on 2015...

Hello Blogland! I hope that everyone had a great Christmas!!! I did not get back to posting before the holiday; it got completely too busy! I had the family over for Christmas Eve and it was just great to spend time with everyone.  The kids and I had a quiet Christmas morning and when we were finally ready to head out, my car wouldn't start!  So our plans had to change... Spent Saturday at Pep Boys- - 6 hours and $221 hours later...So yeah, it was an eventful weekend!

I did have the stress test done on last Wednesday, everything appears to be fine (thank God!) and I had blood work done as well to try and determine the source of these blood pressure surges.  Thankfully I experienced no problems over the holiday weekend and was able to enjoy the holidays.  Hopefully all continues to be well on the health front.

So it's the time of year where I (along with most other people) start to reflect on the closing year and looking forward to the coming year.  This year, since I have this medium, I will share some of my reflections on 2015 with you. 

Generally, each year I put together a list of "intentions" (I gave up resolutions many moons ago because I never, ever kept them); my intentions then evolved into a super convoluted exercise called "Plan 180 - 20__," which was actually great for my OCD mind.  (More on that in a separate post).  It is always a written plan; if I'm really feeling good, I'll even type it.  And sometimes, sometimes I actually comment and track on it during the year just to see how I'm doing.  I didn't journal much this year, but I can still reflect and comment on my year 2015...

A year ago found me in a peculiar place:  stressed to the hilt about finances, overtaxed in "busyness," trying to maintain a relationship that was going downhill fast, hanging onto some friendships that were probably better left alone, and really off my square spiritually. I was a MESS!  I had joined my church, but even living only 5-7 minutes away, I was still only half attending and not at all involved.  And I believe that my life reflected my lack of spiritual connectedness...

One thing that I do each year (have done since 2006 or 2007) is to choose a Word of the Year (you may be familiar with it also as "One Little Word;" more on that in another post), and this year I chose the word "Be."  I wrestled with "joy," "peace," "faith," but at the end of the day, I chose "Be."  Meaning that throughout 2015, whatever came my way, I would "be" in the moment and experience it in real time. 

Another thing I decided to do (in addition to my usual weight loss goals, professional goals, and the like was to set some concrete spiritual life goals.  Now, I do set some spiritual goals every year from the apparently next to impossible (I'm going to read the whole Bible this year) to the lazy that I should be able to handle with no problem (I'm going to make it to church every Sunday unless sick or out of town), but this year was different.  This year, my goal was to recommit myself back to my faith. 

When I decided to start this journey, I had no idea how it was going to be accomplished or manifested, nor did I know what I was going to have to give up to do it!  But here, today on December 29, 2015, I can say that it has truly been a journey, and though I would have liked less thorns along the way, I believe I am a better person for starting this journey and seeing it through.  So what all did I do this year?  I'm glad you asked!

So the first thing I did was to seriously check myself on my lackluster church attendance!  I mean, one of the main reasons I changed churches was to be closer so that I could attend, but I still wasn't doing it!  I had to go back to my grandmother's rule:  If you can do what you want to do all week long, SURELY you can get up and take yourself to God's house on Sunday...!  I will need to check my notebook to see how well I did in reality, but it was with intention this year that I was determined to make every Sunday that I could.  And you know what?  Each and every time that I went, without fail, the sermon blessed and spoke to me. 

The second thing I did was to work on my lackluster prayer life... which still needs a LOT of work, but it is so much more than it was a year ago!  I have a dedicated prayer journal area in my FAITH notebook, and I do keep my specific prayers and answered prayers there.  I can definitely look back at it and see where God has answered prayers for me, my family, and friends. 

Next, I decided it was time to get more involved in church and meet some people.  This was easier said than done, I am an introvert and am not one to just start talking to people!  I had my one sister friend/soror at church (Pam) and some other sorors I'd see here and there and that was it.  I took my time with this one, because I didn't want to just add more busyness to my world but wanted all of my actions to be meaningful.  That being said, as you already know, in the summer of 2015 I took the One-on-One Discipleship class (10 weeks from July- September) and I truly enjoyed it!  I grew spiritually, and I met some great people.  Due to a personal matter, I had the opportunity to meet with Pastor Brenda Varnado, one of our spiritual care pastors, in early September, and that meeting has changed my life.  She took me and my children under her wing, and personally saw to it that I met some people!  We got the Tween connected to the dance ministry and the young adult choir, and I just met some outstanding people in general.  In addition, Pastor Varnado was a crucial part of me making it through a very difficult time in my personal life in 2015.  For that, I am forever grateful.  The next thing I did was to join the "Journey Sisters" ministry- it is an accountability partner ministry where you share one or more goals with your journey sister (and vice-versa) and they take the journey with you in 2016 and hold you accountable to reaching your goals.  It's like having your own personal cheerleader and drill sergeant in one!  And my journey sister?  Of all people, I am hooked up with Evangelist Darice Whitted, who is head of the Women's Ministry at Victory.  (See what I mean about that prayer thing?  What are the odds?).  I love her to life and I am super excited about our journey!  But anyway, through this ministry, I've met some outstanding women and I am proud to know them!  I also joined the Outreach Ministry (VOICE) and I LOVE IT!  Again, this expanded my network at the church as well.  Last but not least, I decided to start Discipleship University, a 4-year program offered at Victory.  My classes for Discipleship I begin on January 11, 2016, so stay tuned...

Looking back, I can truly say that it is in this area that I grew the most in 2015.  And by staying committed to my goal, I was able to hear God, and that has been more priceless to me than anything else!  Oh sure, having answered prayers is magnificent (and he showed up and showed out on that too), but being able to hear?  Nothing like it! 

In hearing God this year, I had to give up some things that were near and dear to my heart because they were distracting me from my commitment.  I have alluded to this several times in my postings this year, but now I'm ready to state them.  It was almost a tug of war situation; I really didn't want to let go, but God promised me so much more if I did.  Finally, He made me so uncomfortable that I had no choice but to let go of it all and then he opened the floodgates of blessings and positivity into my life and allowed me to experience the greatest of his gifts:  Hope, Joy and Peace.  What are those things that I had to give up?  Here they are, in no particular order:  my sorority (I was the chapter president at the time); my relationship with Urban Dude; and some "friends."  Yikes, right?  But what have I gained?  Time.  Time to, honestly, just "Be."  See how my word has come full circle???  Do I miss those things?  Sometimes, yes, but I am determined not to move until He tells me to, and in order to do that, I must be able to hear, and I must stay committed... you get the picture. 

So what does my life look like at the end of 2015?  Much, much quieter!  Not necessarily less busy, but I find that I can choose better which activities to spend my time on, and it's not so much work.  Also, I have been able to cultivate and renew friendships with some amazing women this year that I would not have had time for otherwise... 

As we bring 2015 to a close, I keep getting news of tragedies in my friends' and family's lives, and I am thankful to be here and for all that me and my family were blessed with this year (especially the second half of the year).  In the past 2 days, I have gotten hit with news of 3 deaths and none of them were elderly.  So my heart is heavy with grieving for my friends and family on their losses during this time.  That being said, I am even more thankful for all that has transpired in 2015, the good, the bad and even the ugly! 

And now I turn the microphone to you - how did 2015 treat you????  Holla @ Darvi,  and let's talk about it!  Be Blessed!!!

xoxoxo

Obedience is better than sacrifice...

So I guess you know what today is?  That's right, it's Wednesday, also known as Hump Day!  Do the Humpty-Hump, do the Humpty-Hump!   I hope the week has been kind to you; it's been a great one for me. Well, why is that?  Let me count the ways:

1) Both kids are enrolled and settled in their new schools - Amen!  The Teen was the last one, because the high school required different documentation than the middle school, go figure.  But we got him finished and settled in on Monday.  Shout out to his counselor, Mrs. Staples for being able to mirror the courses he was taking at his old school;

2) I (finally) got ALL of the internet/cable/phone issues worked out as of yesterday.  This move order turned out to be more than a notion!  Shout out to two very special technicians from AT &T who handled everything for me, including being familiar with my account and the issues BEFORE they arrived and making sure that everything was correct before they left:  Jorge and Kenneth;

3) I went downtown today for an in-person interview with a recruiter, and after a full 5 minutes (seriously, 5, no more than 7 minutes), I was selected for an upcoming project that begins Friday;

4) We are 98.5% finished with moving everything from the old house.  Yeah, I know that we started this move 3 weeks ago, but it has been slow going because we weren't completely ready (clearly) and we really only had about a week and a half to prepare for it on top of everyday schedules and no professional movers this time.  So this move has been one for the record books!  But, it is almost over!!! Now, to figure out where all of this stuff is going...; 

5) I was able to touch base with an old friend that I haven't seen or spoken with in at least 20 years on last night (we just lost touch).  That was kinda neat! 

6) I ordered my first ever December Daily kit; and

7) I have peace and joy in my world!

And not just for me, prayers for my friends have been manifested as well:

1) a friend from college who has had to undergo two hip-replacement surgeries following an accident last year is recovering nicely after both successful surgeries, still praying for you, Torry!

2) my friend who was diagnosed with cancer almost 2 years ago finished her last cycle of chemo today.  Way to go, Lisa!

3) my friend, my sister, my buddy Pam started her first full week of work on Monday!  Woo-hoo!!!

Isn't that awesome???  I think so.  I'm sure you are scratching your head and trying to figure out how this ties in with the topic for today.  And as usual, I'm glad you asked!

The times up until now have been the best of times and the worst of times (meaning the past few years). They were filled with lots of good things.  But they were also characterized by tremendous valleys and insurmountable chasms!  It has been exhausting, frankly.  There have been so many times that I just couldn't fathom why things were going so horribly wrong... 

But, I'm still here.  I've always subscribed to the theory that God hasn't brought me this far to leave me.  It's what comforted and sustained me through college, through law school, through divorce and other just bad times during my life.  But this time it didn't seem to be true, I thought He had left me this time because this time has been so very different.  

You see, this is the first time in my life I have ever endured a continuous assault; it began in December 2012 and I'm still not free of attack yet.  I mean, I prayed, I cried, I prayed some more, I cried some more, I had low-lows, I screamed, I withdrew, I shut down, I bargained, I begged and I've pleaded.  But, nothing.  Until I took action...

Remember about 6 weeks ago I wrote about being able to "hear?" This year I realized that there was so much noise going on in my life:  stuff, events, people, personal commitments and just all around busyness that I couldn't hear.  So I started clearing out the junk so I could hear.  It has definitely been a process this year, and I've lost some "friends" and other associations along the way, but it's ok, I understand that everybody can't go where I'm going.  So I'm good.  I won't lie and say that the backlash hasn't hurt, but I'm ok. That was all part of obedience.  I can hear again and I'm listening.  Listening allows me to be obedient and so I've been doing that as well, even when I don't understand it... That's the most important thing at the moment.  

Let me break it down.  There were these two huge, huge things in my world that have frankly been sucking the life out of me!  And I was giving them so much time and energy that I rarely had time for much else. And I don't mean to say that they weren't good things, in moderation, but they had taken over my life.  One of them was the thing I referred to in that prior post and I can truly say that He made things so uncomfortable for me with that situation that I had no choice but to move my feet and get far away.  I even tried to negotiate away from what He said and let's just say that it's not happening.  Full obedience... The second thing is something that I felt convicted about, but had no means to fix it.  But you know what?  Once I expressed the desire to be obedient and to have it changed, it happened. Just like that.  Now, I was not expecting it to happen so quickly or in the manner that it did, and I was blindsided just a tad, but you know what?  It has all worked out in my favor and for my good.  In letting those two situations go and allowing Him to take care of them, I exercised obedience and have regained peace and a lightness that I haven't experienced in a few years! The other thing I gained is manifestation of what happens when we trust Him.  The lesson?  He has this, so stop worrying and just do what you're told!  Now of course that doesn't mean that everything is peachy keen, of course not!  But, I'm learning not to question and to just move when He says move, no matter what the circumstance and what it looks like on the surface.  

So all of that to say this:  stop fighting what you are being told to do.  Be obedient.  Move ya feet!

I promise you that what is on the other side of obedience is better than whatever it is that you are holding onto!

So how about it - anyone else like me (translation:  a work in progress) on this faith walk thing and learning to be obedient???? Holla @ Darvi!  Be blessed...

P.S. - Friday we will start talking about the transformation of the cozy house - can't wait!!!

Randomness...

Happy Monday!  I hope that everyone is well.  Things are topsy-turvy in my corner of the world. 

Packing is in full swing; the first wave of moving begins tomorrow.  There was a major, major setback last week, but hopefully it's been handled (not resolved, just handled) for the time being.  The kids are handling it like troopers, even though their little worlds are about to be turned upside down, and yet I know we'll manage in the end.  I think I'm going to do a room-by-room organization post for the new place; I've been researching some new storage and organization stuff because some methods I currently use won't work (did I mention that EVERY room is smaller and I'll have three less spaces in the new place?), so it has been a bit challenging to figure out - had to research room sizes and all that good stuff- stay tuned.
I am looking forward to being creative in that area; it is one of my favorite things to do.

The weekend was mellow (it was so cold here!); ran errands Saturday morning in the 50 degree freezing rain; including making my first drop at Goodwill.  That felt great, donating things that I know others can use.  Did some packing when I returned, then attended a charity event at Balmoral Park (south suburbs horse racetrack); it was fun as always.  Sunday morning I went to church and I was unaware that it was a special membership Sunday for all "new" members; we took a group photo and got an "answered prayer" rock.  It was awesome!  Breakfast after with Urban Dude and Pam (who I hope won't be relocating after all...) and then a bit more packing.  Dug out my one Bears t-shirt and made my way to one of my high school friend's house for an opening day gathering (Bears lost...).  It was good to spend some downtime during this crazy time, ya know?

And so now it's today - been up since 6:45 doing what?  You guessed it; packing.  I am further behind than I planned to be, but it's ok I suppose.  We will get it done.  I'm getting to the point that I'm getting antsy and just want it all to be finished.  So I am hoping to be able to work late into the night (have two meetings at church though, so there will be a break). 

So onto the "inspiring" part of today's post:  yesterday's sermon was about grace.  God's grace, to be more exact.  The part that resonated with me though was the reinforcement of the messages I received last week, which is trusting and depending on Him.  Specifically, Pastor Singleton noted 2nd Corinthians 1:8-9 that Paul spoke to the ability of the vessel to withstand great pressure so that we learn not to depend on self.  Additionally, in 2nd Corinthians 4:8-9, it says:

8We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed;

we are perplexed, but not in despair;

9Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

All of which at the end of the day means that we are stepped on but not crushed by the devil and his trials and tribulations.  I don't know about you, but for me and where I am today, that's good news, because I sometimes feel as if I'm at the breaking point.  Yet, I continue to press through to another day.  When I look back on where I've come from in the past 2 years or so, I can truly and honestly tell you I didn't think I was going to make it on many days.  There but for the grace of God go I...

Hopefully that snippet from yesterday's sermon will inspire someone who might also be going through some tough times. 

As always, thank you for reading my random musings!  Something you wanna share?  You know the drill - Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed and see ya Wednesday!!!

The Struggle is Real...

Happy Hump Day!!!  I hope your week is going well.  I have fully recovered from the holiday weekend and am looking forward to this coming weekend which should be much slower!  

I'm going to be a bit transparent here and let you know that I am going through some things. There, I said it.  We often spend so much time and energy keeping up appearances for folks that really could care less what's going on in our worlds and you know what?  I'm tired.  

I went back and forth on how I was going to write this post, but transparency won.  Hopefully my transparentness (is that a word?  if not, consider it a new "Darvism.") won't turn anyoneoff or make them look at me differently, which has been a big deal to me for awhile (go figure), but transparent I must be.

Anyway, this month is a little hard for me, one I have dreaded all year without  a total change of circumstance.  You see, it was two years ago this month that I learned that I would no longer have a job at the end of the month.  To say that the past 2 years has been challenging is the understatement of the year!  My whole life has changed, in some ways good, in most ways horrible!  I spent the second half of 2013 and the first half of 2014 in a real funk.  And I won't pretend that I don't still have some pretty crap days in 2015.  Because I do.  Days where I just totally withdraw from everything because I just literally could not do it.

You have to understand that I have ALWAYS worked, since I was 15 years old. That's almost 30 years of consist employment (and I spent 16 years on that particular job), so it's been a huge adjustment, plus the challenges.  (I did say I had challenges, right?)  My career has always been a huge part of who/what I am, and it's been a huge adjustment to not be that person anymore.  I had hoped that by now things would be different and I would be looking back on that time, not still in it.  But that isn't yet the case.  The other thing is, for the first time in my life, I don't really have a "plan."

Everyone who knows me knows that I almost ALWAYS have a Plan A, B, C and possibly a D.  But not this time.  Every one of my "plans" has not worked out and that's been another huge adjustment for me.  Because I'm a perfectionist and I don't like failure.  But most of all, I have felt like everything I've ever believed has been challenged, including my faith.  I had even gotten to the point that I wasn't even sure what I believed anymore (and coming from a kid who grew up in church, COGIC no less, that is saying a LOT).

So when that horrific thing happened to me two years ago, I struck out on what I thought was my ultimate dream (HA!) and ended up in somewhat of a nightmare.  However, I also found myself on a totally different journey than I could have ever imagined at the time.  I daresay that I would have never found this path if my course hadn't been altered.  Please know that the challenges haven't ended, but my perspective (my lens) is different.  It doesn't mean that things are suddenly great, but I just don't feel stressed and anxious about it - today at least.

I have mentioned before that I'm a Believer.  Yes, that means a Christian.  What I am not is a Bible-thumping, over-judgmental, holier than thou person who tries to shame folks into believing.  Nah, I don't roll like that.  What it does mean is that I have a relationship with God. It's not always where it should be, so like me, it's a work in progress.  

This year (2015), I decided to take more of an active role in building up my personal foundation because it has taken a huge hit .  I have reevaluated some relationships, activities and am really working on myself during this season.  I started a faith journal this year, which has become part of a new journey (later on this), and a rewarding one.  I realize I'm getting to the age when you really have to make some decisions on how you are going to approach the third quarter of life and also that those decisions are yours alone.

I am not a person who likes change or thrives on change, so all of this change has been really unsettling.  To make matters worse, I had to make the really tough decision to leave my church because it was just too far for me to travel at this time.  But, I did find a church closer to home that I enjoy (although I miss my old church so much sometimes that my heart aches).  Anyway, my new church, Victory Apostolic Church in Matteson (which you should totally visit one day if you live in the South Suburbs), offers many different ministries and classes, as well as activities to keep you busy and grounded! One of the classes offered this summer is One-on-One Discipleship, which will be a 10-week, one-hour course (it started last night).  Me and my sorority sister Pam decided to take it together (can you tell that me and Pam have a lot of adventures together????).  

We signed up not knowing what to expect, and we walked in not knowing what to expect, lol! 
After leaving our first session, we are both a bit excited to see where the class is going to take each of us personally on our faith walks.  I"m hoping that I will have more peace and my faith renewed; only time will tell the ultimate outcome. 

Here is the book for the class:

I'm not sure what the outcome will be, but I'm sure that it will be an adventure, albeit a personal one, and that some change will be inevitable.  But hear me, on this here thang? The struggle is real!      

So, what about you- any personal journeys for you in 2015?  Anyone agree that the struggle is truly real????  Let's talk about it!  Holla @ Darvi!  Be Blessed!!!

My sophomore venture to the Chosen Few Picnic 2k15- 25th Anniversary!

Happy Monday!  

Unless you live under a rock or just don't celebrate anything, like ever, you spent some time this past weekend celebrating the 4th of July.  Independence Day.  Red White and Blue. BBQs, family reunions, picnics and fireworks everywhere!  I hope you all survived and are getting back to your daily grind after the long weekend!  In my corner of the world we started with an impromptu social outing on Thursday night to Bar Louie Matteson, a 40th Birthday Celebration on Friday, and The Chosen Few Picnic on Saturday the 4th.

I'm sure some of you are scratching your heads, trying to figure out what the heck is a "Chosen Few Picnic," right? I'm gonna tell you in just a moment but I have to start with this:

I am a house head.  Unapologetically.  When I hear the beats, I have to dance.  I just can't help myself!  For those of you not from Chicago or weren't a teenager in the 1980s, house music is type of music that had its origins in Chicago in the 1980s.  Find out more about Chicago house music here.

Anyway, there is a group of Chicago-based DJs, The Chosen Few, who have put together a house music picnic every summer around the 4th of July.  See more about The Chosen Few DJs and house music here.  Anyhoo, the first "house picnic" was in 1990.  And it has grown and grown until now it's a huge, huge part of Chicago's summer festivals.  I won't get into the economics of what this picnic means for Chicago's summer festival revenues, but just know that it's a huge event.  There's even an exhibit about the history of house music currently at the Chicago Cultural Center (yes, I've seen it already), it goes until August 16, 2015.  And the Cultural Center is FREE!  See more info here. In fact, here are a few pics to whet your curiosity for the exhibit and perhaps even inspire you to go have a look:

I must confess that I attended the house picnic for the very first time last year.  That's pretty deplorable for a house head.  My life has evolved tremendously over the past 25 years... But, I went last year and had a ball!  So I went back again this year for the 25th anniversary picnic. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint!  Special thanks to my sis, Dee, for the invite again this year (she was a great hostess, by the way) and Fletcher for griling (grillmaster)!

They really did it up for the 25th Anniversary!  For everyone that complained about the price, the amenities were apparent once you got there.  We had a parking pass that included a shuttle to the front of the picnic (it was very, very nice and convenient) and everyone working that day from the shuttle drivers, to the QC scanners and the security (thanks, CPD) were very pleasant! Even the porta-potties were well maintained all day (and I truly hate porta-potties!).  The music was OUTSTANDING this year and the special guests included Evelyn "Champagne" King and Stephanie Mills. 

What amazed me the most was once again how organized it was and just how many people were in attendance.  The organizers clearly sat down with some planners and mapped out how this thing was going to be set up - there were little "cities" with thoroughfares so you didn't have to traipse through anyone's personal space to move around. Everyone was hospitable, even to strangers.  There were vendors and a food court, so you were able to purchase food and beverages all day.  People were really creative with their setups, and there was just an overall celebratory atmosphere, due in part to the picnic being on the actual holiday this year.  Here is one of the best set-ups that I saw out there; the theme was "Welcome to Paradise."

The house picnic draws attendees from all walks of life, and everyone just has a good time, socializing and enjoying the music together.  I LOVE THAT!

Miller Life was a HUGE sponsor this year, and they really laid out the red carpet for Chicago's house heads!  They had multiple seating areas, bean bag areas and a HUGE VIP area.  It was really, really nice (I know I keep saying that, but it was!).  My sorority sister Pam and I met one of the Miller Lite bigwigs just before we left, and we chatted with him for awhile.  He told us that Miller takes the portable bars and VIP areas all around the country to large outdoor festivals.  He even gave us free libations and took a picture with Pam! Check out some of the Miller Lite amenities:

Under each of those tents was a lounge area.

This was the smaller of the portable bars, but still nice; it had 2 levels!

And here is Pam with the Miller Lite guy!

All in all, it was a great time!  The highlight of my day?  Besides socializing with friends and family and seeing folks I hadn't seen in awhile?  The pic I took with this guy:

YESSS!!!!  So who else attended the Chosen Few Picnic 2k15?  What did you think?  Holla @ Darvi and let me know!  Have a great week and Be Blessed!