Footsteps in the Dark...

Happy Hump Day!  Yes, I know technically that it's after midnight, but since I'm not asleep yet, it's still Wednesday to me!  Guess what?  Remember that "sweltering" weather I was talking about just a few short weeks ago?  Um, yeah.  So now it's fall.  Like for real.  As in jacket weather.  As in I made chili for dinner weather (you know that's fall food, right?).  Tomorrow allegedly it will be warmer and then back to swelter next week.  Gotta love Chicago and its ever-changing weather, right? 

So today  we're going to talk about footsteps in the dark (like the Isley Brothers, reference, eh?).  Or more appropriately, walking in the dark.  Have you ever done that - get up in the middle of the night and stumble around in the dark to go to the restroom or go get a drink of water?  Invariably you walked in to something because your eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness and it was hard to see.  Maybe it's just me...  
 

The idea of this topic came to me yesterday as I sat in the church parking lot before class doing my homework (don't judge me!).  On the drive there from my contract assignment in the western burbs, me & God had a little chat.  Ok, so it was more like me whining "why, why, why" and God responding back to me through music (which happens a lot when I listen to Gospel music) and then by dropping scripture and other things into my mind.  So I was driving along, had my phone plugged in and on my Pandora station (isn't that the greatest?) and as I whined, a litany of songs came on with His answer.  Next came scriptures.  When I got to the church, I had to write everything down so I wouldn't forget.  And so here we are.

So anyway, I got some bad news yesterday that is a step backwards from where I'm trying to be.  Then another bit of bad news came and I was discouraged.  So as I said, I was whining, literally crying out loud about things, asking why all of this stuff was continuing to happen and asking what in the world was I going to do now??? Have you ever been there? Before I could even finish, a song came on, "It's Only A Test" by Bishop Larry Trotter and Sweet Holy Spirit Choir (you can hear it here).  That made me stop.  Quickly.  That used to be one of my favorite songs back in the day, and what I thought about was how it's sometimes so easy to sing about tests and whatnot when things are going well but we forget about that stuff when we are going through said tests... I'll just drop that right here.

The next song was one I had never heard before, "Joy Will" by Charles Jenkins and it Fellowship MB Church Choir (you can hear it here).  The gist of it is that joy will come in the morning (even when sometimes it feels like one long eternal night and you are stumbling along in darkness most days - see how I tied that in???). 

More songs came on, mostly worship songs:  Amazing by Hezekiah Walker, God is Great by Rickey Dillard and New G, Step Right In by Earnest Pugh, Here I am to Worship by William McDowell, Total Praise by Donnie McClurkin, He Turned It by Rickey Dillard & New G, and Lift Him Up by Hezekiah Walker.  So what do you think happened?  I got so caught up in singing that I stopped whining, number 1, and number 2, I arrived at the church.

But that doesn't mean that my issues were completely out of my mind, as I was working on my homework (stop judging...), I started questioning again. So scriptures arrived next: 

1. Thy word oh Lord is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path - Psalm 119:105
2. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all things will be added unto you - Matthew 6:33
3. All things work together for the good of them who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose - Romans 8:28
4. Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not to thine own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path - Proverbs 3:5

Ouch.  So I take all of that as a not so gentle reminder to get out of my own head and keep focused.  Sometimes that is a very difficult thing to do, especially when things are not going as well as they could be.  So if anyone else out there is going through a rough patch, I hope that you find some comfort in these things like I did yesterday.  I told y'all- the struggle is REAL.

A few months ago my big brother Delvin (remember him?  He writes the blog "My Relationship Lessons" and he's on WVON in Chicago.  You should check him out; his blog can be found here)  mentioned a book he was reading, "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On" by Stormie O'Martian.  He suggested it for anyone who was going through.  I made a note of it; thought I had it in my library, but did not.  Had to order it from Amazon, but I got it.  Didn't actually pick it up though until last week. The subtitle of the book is "Trusting God in the Tough Times."  Yeah... Here is a photo of it so you can see it:

I'm not done yet, because it's not fluff and I'm reading for understanding, not just content.  I'm only in Chapter 2, but I've already noted and highlighted several things.  It isn't my first book by her; she also wrote Power of Praying Wife and Power of a Praying Husband (those are both great books too, by the way).  I recommend this book for anyone going through tough times and it feels like you are just walking around in the dark with no clear path in front of you.  Kinda like me right now.  Remember that whole work in progress thing? Yep, still progressing...

Let me be clear, I'm not a preacher, evangelist, missionary or any of that stuff.  But I am just a girl (say NOTHING about my age!) who is working on this Christian walk thing one day at a time and who is thankful each day for another opportunity to get it right (because I get it wrong so many times!) and learning, very slowly apparently, to yield.  That is so hard to do, but I'm working on it just the same.

So what should we do?  We keep walking, even though it feels like there's darkness all around us and sometimes the only light is the size of a pen light, certainly not enough to light your whole path.  But that's kinda the point - walking and waiting for the light to guide your next step...

Is there anyone else out there who feels as if they are walking around in the dark, no light in sight?  Or maybe you all have it all together already and I'm by myself.  Perhaps you found your way out of the dark already and want to share your story.  I'm all ears!  Holla @ Darvi - be blessed!!!