Bleh...

Happy Friday, Blogland!  I hope that everyone has had a great week.  Or, maybe you're like me, happy that you can put this week behind you!  Whatever the case, happy Friday!  

So it's been COLD in Chi-Town - very, very cold.  And you know what?  I'm so over it!!! Every winter I ask myself why do I continue to voluntarily torture myself with these Midwestern Winters???  Sidenote:  With the global warming going on, is there really anywhere safe these days???  I'd just like to be warm - I hate being cold!

I've been quiet this week.  For various reasons. One, I have a lot I want to say, but the words haven't formulated yet.  Two, I'm feeling a bit "bleh."  Yeah, you read right.

I started the week continuing to celebrate the Tween's birthday (on a very frigid MLK Day), then onto double doctor appointments on Tuesday, one of which has me very frustrated... And a tad anxious if I am being truthful.  The rest of the week has been full of restlessness - not sure why.  I did have the opportunity to (hopefully) help some people this week (it's when I truly love what I do), and I didn't charge them a thing!  Now, some of you will say, why on earth would a technically) unemployed person work for free?  And that's a very valid point in the grand scheme of things.  However, I've learned that the good things I do for others always find their way back to me, so it's all good.  But - if you're reading this and you owe me money, come holla at me... LBVS!

So back to "bleh."  I made it to church on Sunday, and Pastor Greene spoke.  It was my first time hearing him, and I enjoyed his message.  It was titled "Don't Miss His Blessings."  His text was Numbers 14:20-24, which was about the 40 year "road trip" that the Israelites were on because of the noise of their unbelief.  Pastor Greene said that some of us can identify with them because we have been on the same journey for a long time, and asked us how many exits have we missed because of distractions?  The gist of everything was this:  it's time to move beyond waiting and dreaming, it's time to wake up and live the dream.  We often miss our blessings because of our position - most often fear.  Fear keeps us away from what God has in store for us.  So we have to have committed faith - based on a relationship of trust with God.  

I've been thinking about that all week.  I mean, I get it.  I really do.  But still I feel "bleh" and unfocused.  Floaty actually.  Prone to procrastination because my thoughts keep drifting. Mentally exhausted even.  And so I feel "bleh."  Some of it has to do with all of the negativity that is going on in the world right now - so much of it that it's just draining to me.  The rest has to do with my own little corner of the world.  This has been a week full of "I didn'ts":  I didn't finish my Plan 180, I didn't start my goal sheet for Journey Sisters, I didn't finish my homework for class (which begins on Monday...), I didn't take down the Christmas trees (don't judge- they didn't get put up until literally the week of Christmas), I didn't finish my laundry, I didn't get my resume updated yet - you get the picture.  A whole lotta procrastination and unfinished tasks.  Feeling like I'm afraid to commit to things - what if I'm wrong AGAIN???  Truth is, I'm having trouble not looking back (which I should be deathly afraid of - hello?  Lot's wife???).  

Now why am I telling you all of this?  That's a good question!  Truthfully, it's my hope that in sharing my struggles, I help someone to see that it's not just them (if we share similar struggles) or at the least, you get to laugh at me (and I help bring laughter and joy to your world!).  

So as I sit here, just after midnight on Friday, listening to some 80's gospel on You Tube (trying to get myself together, I promise I am), I pray that I find the wherewithal to get it all done.  But I really do feel "bleh."  I don't want anyone to think that means I've lost my faith or anything like that, but sometimes everyone is in need of a break.  Today it's me.  

I will leave you with the song I'm listening to right now, "God Is," by Rev. James Cleveland (from 1979).  You can listen to it here.  Songs like this just always remind me of my childhood and my grandma - the good old days. And here's a quote for good measure:

 "When you lose something in your life, stop thinking it's a loss for you... it is a gift you have been given so you can get on the right path to where you are meant to go, not to where you think you should have gone."  Suze Orman 

Isn't that a great quote? You can find other quotes about "paths" here.  Hopefully that and this here music will be enough for me to get it in gear... Please tell me I'm not the only one (feeling "bleh," prone to procrastination, full of "I didn'ts")- come Holla @ Darvi and share! 

Otherwise, have a great weekend, framily and be blessed!    xoxoxo