Falling Off The Wagon... (Trust - Part III)

Happy Friday (yes, it really is Friday - I checked)!  It's the weekend, baby and I'm looking forward to it!!!  I have a full day Saturday lined up (I hope my energy level stays up enough for me to actually make all of these things):  Centennial Kickoff Celebration for my high school, Morgan Park (my whole family except one person went there; we have graduates from 1955-1997, so it's a big deal for my family) in the morning; U of I Black Alumni All-Class Reunion Kickoff in the afternoon (the last one was in 2008); and a scrapbook gathering Saturday evening with my scrapbooking group (haven't seen them since last July).  I have a busy day tomorrow...

So I have a confession to make.  I kinda fell off the wagon.  Meaning that less than 24 hours after my great inspirational post about turning lemons into lemonade, I found myself engaged in a conversation about the past, which inevitably turned into a discussion of things I prefer not to think about (things lost) and before I knew it, I was having a pity party for myself.  Complete with some tears.  Had to snap out of it real quick!  Still trying actually, it makes me both sad and angry to know that the things I worked so hard for are just gone and there's nothing I can do about it... Just keeping it real here.  I feel kinda like this:

The truth is, I know deep inside that as great as some of the things were that I have lost, and the what-feels-like-forever process of rebuilding (again), I believe that what's ahead is going to be better than anything I've ever had.  How do I know?  Well, for one because I believe His Word and I stand on the promises contained in it.  In this case, the specific verse I'm referring to is Romans 8:18:  For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. And also, Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good for them that love God to them that are called according to his purpose.  And second, because I don't believe He's brought me this far to leave me.  You know that's an old time song; I grew up COGIC, so I know a lot of old time songs.  Sometimes you have to reach back to those old songs for comfort.  My grandmother always played those old time songs at night, so I would go to sleep hearing them.  All through my life, whenever I have felt down or uncertain about what was ahead, I have always come back to that song.  There are several versions, believe it or not Min. Tim White, who was a guest at church just last Sunday, sang the Rev. James Cleveland version that had me in tears, but my absolute favorite is by Mary Mary.  You can listen to it here.

The pertinent lyrics:  

"I don't feel noways tired (Rev. Cleveland)/I just can't give up now (Mary Mary)

I've come too far from where I started from,

Nobody told me that the road would be easy,

And I don't believe He's brought me this far, to leave me."  

And that's the truth - I really don't believe He's brought me this far to leave me.  All that to say that I'm still a work in progress and I'm still figuring all of this out too.  It's an everyday process, one step at a time.  Right now I'm feeling uncomfortable with some things and I know it's time to prepare for a change.  And the biggest part of the change will depend on me, preparing and being ready when it comes.  So that is my task, to be ready.

All of this has been on my mind, along with Pastor Singleton's last two Sunday sermons: Recognizing New Things (1/3/2016) and The God of the Second Chance (1/10/2016). Both of those sermons spoke to me personally and I'd like to share some highlights with you.  

In "Recognizing New Things," the messages that resonated with me were:  

1) you must put the past behind you because if you are locked into the past, you can't recognize the new; 

2) while we naively approach the future optimistically, we should hope for the best but be prepared for the worse; 

3) Isaiah 43:2 (NIV):  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze; and

4) when God tells you something He's going to do in your life, it doesn't mean that it will be easy, just that He will be with you and see it to fruition.

The bottom line?  We have to put and keep our faith and trust in the Living God! (For reference, the scripture text for the sermon was Isaiah 43:18-21).

In "The God of the Second Chance," the messages that resonated with me were:

1) sometimes the answer is not going back, but going forward no matter how hard forward looks;

2) fear does not impact God's ability, but has to do with the object of my (our) faith; just because we don't trust it, that doesn't affect its trustworthiness;

3) sometimes we miss our blessings because we don't trust God; but thankfully He's the God of second chances!;

4) His grace and purpose for your life is why you're still here and been given multiple chances;

5) the keys to success are to trust and obey:  it's hard to trust anyone you don't have a relationship with; part of Christian growth is to be put into situations you can't get out of except by trusting God; you won't obey God if you don't know His Word; and

6) to be successful, you must have a strategy:  spiritual (trust and obey) and natural (real plans) - they must come together.

For reference, the -scripture text was Joshua 1:1-9, and it was the story of how God gave the descendants of the Israelites a second chance to go to the promised land (their ancestors had messed up by allowing fear to guide them).  

And where does all of this lead us?  Right back to trust again.  I didn't know I would keep coming back to that this week, but here we are.  Know that everything I post is for me, my reminders about what is really going on, and if I happen to touch someone else along the way, then I am thankful to have been that vessel.  Listen, sometimes I have things on my heart to say to you guys, and I have no idea how I'm going to do that.  And almost always, when I go to church on Sunday, there is something in the sermon that provides confirmation to what was placed on my heart to say.  Sometimes that's a little scary - this is a totally new experience for me, and I truly am not sure where He's taking me with all of this...

I want to encourage you to get yourself in a teaching ministry; I grew up in church and have spent many, many, MANY days and nights in church throughout my life.  (Told y'all I grew up COGIC...).  However, it wasn't until I grew up and began seeking understanding for myself about how to apply this stuff to real life, my life, that I had the courage to strike out beyond my childhood church.  I have been blessed to have been under three great teaching ministries in my adulthood and it has made all the difference in how I hear, see, and apply scripture to my everyday life.  So that's my soapbox for today; if you are in the Chicago area/South Suburbs, I encourage you to check out my church, Victory Apostolic; it is truly a teaching church and great things are happening there.

That being said, I ask for your prayers that I can recognize whatever new things He has for me and that I'm ready for them when they come.  I wish all of you a great weekend, I will be tired.com when mine is over!  Sidenote:  I have been easing back into some creative work, I officially started my December Daily album last week (I got up to Day 7 completed), and I can truly say that it has been fun to relive those little moments (in words and pictures) that can so easily be forgotten in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.  I will definitely be doing it again this year.  I will share, who knows, you may want to document your own Decembers this year!

So for real, am I the only one who is constantly falling off the trust wagon and having to have a do-over???  Holla @ Darvi, I really don't want to be the only one... Be blessed, framily!

xoxoxo