Lost and Found...

Hello my blogland framily!!!  I hope you've all had a wonderful week! 

Last week went by and found me dealing with a blood pressure flare up.  Let me give you background:  I've always had low blood pressure; never higher than 116/65-70.  One Saturday in November 2014 found me not feeling well and I had no idea what was wrong.  I talked to my sister, who's a nurse, and she suggested (strongly) that I go have my blood pressure checked.  I finally found somewhere to have it checked and it was super high (that was right in the midst of some personal life drama), ended up in urgent care, had a follow-up doctor's appointment and ended up on a low dose of meds for 4 months.  Had full bloodwork done - nothing.  It went back to a (new) normal, then it flared back up again in December 2015.  I had an EKG and a stress test at that time and all was well with my heart. Fast forward to last Monday and I started not feeling well, took my blood pressure and it was up. I left early to get some rest.  Tuesday it was good, but Wednesday I was feeling terrible again, and when I got home and took my pressure, the bottom number was up to 96 and was rising!  (*sidebar* I sound like somebody's Big Momma, talking about "my pressure," lol!)  I drank some NASTY apple cider vinegar water and it went down enough for me to sleep.  The next morning, it was right back up, the bottom number got up to 100 and my doctor told me to come in immediately.  Long story short, I'm back on meds again, for a few months, then another round of bloodwork to come so we can try and find out what the cause is.  All that to say, you all keep me in your prayers; not feeling this full scale revolution thing that is happening with this over 40 body of mine!!!  

Onto the subject of my post- as you know, this past Sunday was Father's Day.  At first, I wasn't gonna be able to hang out with my dad because his schedule was chock full.  So I was a little disappointed, although I didn't tell him that, but I said ok.  I sent him a Father's Day text early in the morning before I started getting ready for church and he called to say that he thought about it and he was going to make the time to hang out with me. Yay!  See, the thing is, I'm thinking I'm kind of a daddy's girl...

I was not fortunate enough to have my parents growing up, due to grown up drama that had nothing really to do with me.  As a result, I didn't have a "daddy" per se (I've stated before that I lived with my grandparents from the age of 8 until I got married and moved out when I was 23).  I struggled with not having my parents, despite having very loving grandparents.  I had a very tenuous relationship with my parents; I didn't really have a relationship with either of them until I was an adult.  Then it was almost like tug of war between them for awhile, which kinda sucked!  When I had my kids, I sat both of them down and asked them to just be the best grandparents they could be.  And you know what?  To their credit, they have been AWESOME!!! My mom, "Little Grandma," and my dad, "Grandpa-pa," have surpassed my wildest dreams - they love my kids and my kids love them.  Awesome sauce! 

I took my first photo with both of my parents in 2006... I was almost 35.  Let that marinate. Anyway, fast forward to 2010 when my grandmother was sick, hospitalized and later died.  I ended up spending a lot of time with my mother and a shift happened in our relationship.Slowly, but surely, she began to fill the void left by my grandmother.  She can't replace grandma, but she has definitely been my mom when I needed her to be.  And for that, I am forever grateful...

But this post is about my dad.  So my parents were young when I was born and it was pretty scandalous in the early 70s for young, unwed, church folks to end up pregnant.  There was a lot of drama going on at that time and unfortunately, I lost my dad in the process.  That had a lot of repercussions, (which are not the subject of this post), but I always wanted and NEEDED my dad.  Over the years, I reached out several times and would "catch and release." When I really grew up, I reached out again, and we both decided to try this thing again.  And you know what?  We haven't looked back since that day!  Now, sometimes things are a little wonky because we're not used to being there (ie. - he's not used to having a daughter and I'm not used to having a dad), but we are working on it. 

I've learned (scratch that, still learning) that I still need him, even though I'm 45 and have my own kids, I still need my daddy.  Only daddies can have righteous indignation when someone does their daughters wrong!  Only daddies still want to protect their "baby girl" when she is hurting.  Only daddies (and mommies) can feel the anguish of not being able to help when they know their child is in trouble.  Only daddies can make their daughter feel like a princess when he gives her unexpected gifts, takes her out for dinner, bakes her red velvet cake and sweet potato pie on request, makes paella, does tequila shots with her for her birthday, and honors her requests for selfies (even when you hate the way you look in pictures because you know that she scrapbooks and pictures are important to her)- - - wait, maybe that's just MY DADDY!  And we've made a commitment to getting together at least once a month (last month for birthday dinner, and this month for Father's Day lunch).  All of that is a good thing and I've been loving the extra time with my dad.  And I'm loving that we've been able more and more to have one-on-one time to just be.  And you know what? I've learned that my dad kinda needs me too... (but that's not the subject of this post either).

Scripture tells the parable of the prodigal son over in Luke 15:11-32.  If you're not familiar, here's a recap:  a father has two sons, the youngest of which asks for his inheritance early. the father gives it to him, and he runs off and spends it wastefully, ends up in a famine, all before deciding to go home, beg for forgiveness and ask his father if he can be one of the hired servants.  Instead, his father sees him on the road, welcomes him back and prepares a feast for him, including a fat calf that was generally reserved for special occasions.  The older son refused to participate, noting that he had never disobeyed his father or left and he had never had so much as a goat prepared for him and his friends!  The father reminded the older son that everything he had would belong to him but that they should still celebrate the return of the younger son, because he was lost and is now found.  This parable is the last of Jesus' parables on loss and redemption, about how the Father always welcomes home his lost sheep.

So why on earth did I choose this passage of scripture?  Well, as usual I thought I was writing about one thing and was led to go in a completely different direction!!!  This post was (so I thought) going to be about me and how I'm a new-fangled, 45-year old daddy's girl. But He had other ideas apparently!  What it's all about is lost and found.

Yep, that's right.  Lost and found.  Like my regular blood pressure.  LIke my parents, specifically like my daddy.  And yes, I am 45 and I call him "daddy" not "dad."  But more so like when we leave from under the covering of our Heavenly Father and He always welcomes us back with open arms.  Jesus compares Himself to a shepherd and we believers are His sheep.  John 10:11 says that the "good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep."  That is exactly what Christ did for us when he lay down his life for us on Calvary. He's always standing there with open arms ready to welcome us to Him, when we repent and accept Him.  And just like my daddy wants to be my helper, protector and treat me like a princess, so does our Heavenly Father want to do the same for us.  If we just return to Him, like the prodigal son returned to his father.

So all that to say - I'm a certified Daddy's Girl, both for my earthly Father and my Heavenly Father.  Just as I thank God for being returned to my earthly father, I also thank God for being returned to Him, because I was one of his lost sheep.  And that, is very good news!!!

So framily, have a great weekend and if you have strayed from the flock, consider going to church this Sunday and returning.  He's waiting for you!!!

Don't forget to Holla @ Darvi and be blessed! xoxoxo

P.S. - Here's some pics of me and my daddy, from my birthday dinner and Father's Day!

 

Reflections on being 45…it has been the best of times and the worst of times!

Happy Tuesday, Blog Framily!  I hope you’ve had a wonderful three weeks!  I have been enjoying my birthday... The big 45.  I paused for a minute to let that sink in (I've been letting it sink in for the past 3 weeks...).

I am truly grateful to God for allowing me to have 45 years on this side and to experience all parts of life, the good, the bad, the ugly!!! Because, face it, it is all parts of life that have shaped me into the me of today (the good, the bad and the ugly…).  Here’s a recap:

I was born – May 25, 1971!  Not born under the ideal circumstances at the time, but I was born.  Here’s a baby picture, not newborn, we had a fire and my baby book was destroyed, but an infant photo just the same:  

And I was given the blessing of being raised by my maternal grandparents, who were to me, simply “Gramma and Gran-deddy” (you have to get that phonetic pronunciation going).

I attended an awesome preschool at Triedstone Full Gospel Church, where I learned to read very early and my love of reading was born (I was reading my mom’s books when I was in kindergarten)!  This is where I had my first graduation; I still remember us singing and performing “10 little Indian boys and girls” (I had forgotten that, it just came back to my remembrance today).  Here’s a picture of my graduation, it’s from 1976:

I attended Bates School (which no longer exists) where I had some awesome teachers that recognized my academic potential and jumped me after a week or two in first grade to second grade.  It was at Bates where I met some folks that would become eternal friends, where I developed my abhorrence for chocolate (milk, ice cream, pudding, frosting, egh!), where I was encouraged to just keep reading and writing, where my fear of worms and dogs was tested to new heights, where I had my first fight and my first crush.  It was also at Bates School where my 5^th grade teacher recommended that I (along with 3 other students) go to Kellogg School to be part of the options for knowledge program, a move that changed my life.

1981 found me being bussed to Kellogg and it was such an important part of my life journey!  I was in the options program in 6^th grade, and it was there I learned to research and really develop my writing.  It was a small school, only one class for each grade, and we were relatively close.  My graduating class had 32 people in it!  It was there I had access to physical science and biology classes, made lifetime friends, participated in “teach-ins” and plays, went to the opera, and was exposed to different things outside of my neighborhood, like a progressive dinner (which I SHALL recreate one day!).  I wish I had pictures, but we were busy living life, not photographing it!  I do have some pictures from my 8^th grade graduation; this is one with me with my mom back in 1984 after the graduation:

The next phase of my life was high school; from 1984-1988, I was an Honors Student at Morgan Park High School right on the south side of Chicago!  There I started my 4-year journey with a small group of students who were in the Honors Track with me and met some others along the way; again, lifetime friendships were formed.  It was there that I had experimental haircuts (asymmetrical bob, anyone?), survived neon and an obsessive fascination with pink during 1985, went on college tours, had sleepovers, played sports, went on dates (once I was old enough), learned how to drive, had my first heartbreak, had my first job (Brown’s Chicken on 116^th & Western), had many excursions to Evergreen Plaza, and enjoyed the heck out of my senior year, including prom.  Those were some of the best years of my life!!!  Here is my "official" senior year book picture:

After that was college; from 1988-1992 I was a student at the University of Illinois in Urbana –Champaign, where I attended on full scholarship.  It was there that I joined my sorority (Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.), learned that I actually needed to STUDY to get good grades, traveled up and down I-57 more times that I can count, gained and lost the freshman 15, went on road trips, learned to truly live on my own, lost my grandfather (1992, 3 weeks before graduation), grew up and made lifelong friends.  My college graduation was one of the best days of my life, May 17, 1992 (I graduated just mere days before my 21^st birthday):  

Then that came my first forays into real adulthood (1992-2000):  I entered law school (I left law school; took a gap year then went back again), I got engaged and married (later separated and divorced), bought a house, became a mother (to the Teen), went back to school and graduated again, and met who would then become my second husband.  Here are my two graduation photos from John Marshall in 1997 and 2000, respectively:

Just before my 30^th birthday, I got married again and experienced a wonderful honeymoon in Italy.  I had my 30^th birthday twice, once in Rome and then again in Chicago when I got home where my grandmother had prepared all of my favorite foods!  Then just after my 30^th birthday, all hell broke loose.  I was pregnant at the time and ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery on June 19, 2001, when my (unknown) ectopic pregnancy burst my fallopian tube.  I almost died.  To say that was a life-changing event is truly the understatement of ever.  I was hurt and angry.  I had lost my baby and almost my life.  But on the brighter side, I was able to spend that whole summer with the teen before he started school in the fall and we had many adventures!

Fast forward (2002+): We had a house built in the suburbs, was pregnant again in 2003 (after a miscarriage in 2002), gave birth to the tween in 2004 and was generally ok in life… until it changed again!  I turned 35 in 2006 and was feeling rather blah with things.  So the next few years found me separated (again) and moving with my babies in 2009.  Life still went on; I went back to school again (2009), lost my grandma (2010), turned 40 (2011), began a relationship I thought would be my last (it clearly wasn’t), moved again and life was good.. until it wasn’t.  Here's my 2011 graduation picture from Governors State:

The rest of the story you already know:  lost my job in 2013, lost some friends and my relationship (2015), and lost my house (2015), but here I stand.  I gained an awesome church family (Victory Apostolic), began working on several ministries there, became a board member for Habitat for Humanity South Suburbs (2015), joined the Top Ladies (2016), reconnected with some wonderful people and developed some new friendships as well, and am slowly, but surely, righting my balance. 

And that brings us to today, just three weeks after my 45^th birthday, which I celebrated with 50-60 of my friends and family with a Kate Spade-inspired party!  Wasn’t I cute????  

When I look back over my life’s journey, like everyone else’s, it’s not a straight line, but a series of ups and downs as I experienced the best of times and sometimes the worst of times.  But I can truly say that I’ve been blessed and I indeed have a testimony.  I can also say that I’m content and have joy! No, things aren’t perfect where I stand right now, not by a long shot.  But I can see the hand of God at work in my life, from having me skip 1^st grade to living with my grandparents to sending me to U of I on a full scholarship, to passing the bar exam on the first try under truly egregious and mostly non-existent study conditions, to every unhappy ending and each new beginning – brand new mercies everyday!!! Looking back gives me even more hope for the future!  My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades!!!

Scripture says:  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path – Proverbs 3:5-6.  I don’t know about you, but I am learning more and more each day to trust God with EVERYTHING, even the things that seem small, and to listen to the urgings of the Holy Spirit in telling me what to do.  And you know what?  He will indeed direct your path!  It is a learning curve, for sure, but it gets easier and easier the more you do it.

 

I would like to take this time to thank my village – my family and friends – who have been there through all of it:  the good times, the bad times, the happy times, the sad times.  As one of my favorite songs by the Mississippi Mass Choir says:  "having you there made the difference."  So thank you.  I appreciate and love my village so much, even though I'm not always able to see or talk to them, I know they are there, rooting for me, praying for me. And it makes it all worth it.

I know that I have indeed been blessed in my 45 years; and I believe that God still has yet to do his greatest work through me.  Right now, I am going where He leads me and enjoying each step of the journey.  I hope that you will trust Him with your journey too!

Have a blessed week!  Oh and I'm still collecting birthday wishes, so Holla @ Darvi!!!

xoxoxo

Give us THIS day...

Happy Wednesday, my Blog Framily!  Yes, I know that it is really Thursday, but just go with it...  I hope this week has been kind to you all thus far.  I won't EVEN talk about the weather; it's been lovely fall weather here in my birthday month!!!  I'm just saying; at least it has stopped raining buckets 'round these parts (for the moment anyway).  

I am just days away from the kickoff to celebrating my 45th birthday (which is a week from today) and I am blessed.  A year ago, my life was very different- we will just leave it at that for now.  I'm also marveling at how different I felt just 5 short years ago on the eve of my 40th birthday. I'll save that for my birthday post next week...

I don't have a whole lot to say today; but I was watching a youtube video of a young man's urban ministry and something he said stopped me cold.  He was doing his gospel rap thing, telling people to pray and he started reciting the Lord's Prayer, and when he got to "give us this day, our daily bread..." he stopped.  He stopped there to break down the words "give us this day."  And he really touched me so much that I knew I had to share the gist of what he said with you to encourage someone today.  

"Give us THIS day, our daily bread..." - Matthew 6:11.  We are so used to saying those words in the Lord's Prayer and moving on to the rest of it.  But have you ever stopped to think about what those words mean?  Give us THIS day, our daily bread...

When we ask God to give us this day, our daily bread, we are asking Him for provision for today and today only.  Not that we won't need provision for tomorrow, but this is just a reminder to deal with the day in front of us and not to worry about what's to come in the future.  A reminder that God's got this.  Scripture says that "my God shall supply all of your needs according to his riches in glory" - Philippians 4:19.  Scripture also says "therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own" - Matthew 6:34.  

So to myself, the worrywart and those of you who are constantly worried about the days to come- STOP IT!  Enjoy THIS day that you have been given.  Ask God to give you your daily bread and keep it moving.  It's just that simple.  Don't worry about what happened or didn't happen yesterday or a month ago or even a year ago.  Put one foot in front of the other and deal with just one day at a time.  Be thankful for THIS day and know that God has it and you in His hands!

That's it, that's all!  I'm spiralling towards the weekend!

To check out Willie Moore, Jr.'s video, you can do so here:

Whatcha think?  Holla @ Darvi and let me know!  Be Blessed!!! xoxoxo

Are you a dreamer?

Happy day, my Blog Framily!!!  I am writing this on Pentecost Sunday, May 15, 2016, which is 50 days after Easter each year.  The significance of Pentecost is that it is the birthday of the Christian church, as it is when the Holy Spirit descended into the apostles and and other followers of Christ, as described in Acts 2:1-31.  At my childhood church, Ambassadors For Christ Church of God in Christ (AFC), we would have a huge celebration for Pentecost each year, complete with a feast and choir concert, as it is indeed a time for celebration.  I actually didn't really understand Pentecost until I was an adult (although I knew the passage of scripture in Acts 2 very well); I guess a lot of things you hear as a child and while you're growing up don't make sense to you until you grow up and grow in knowledge and understanding.  

Anyhoo, what made today special for me was that my mini-me, the Tween, who is on the Junior Instruments of Praise (JIOP- liturgical dance ministry), danced today to "Order My Steps."  If you aren't familiar with the song, which is a beautiful song, by the way, you can listen here:

The girls have worked very hard and diligently and were rewarded today with an outstanding dance that ministered to the congregation.  I am extra proud of my girl (although she didn't get the solo this time), she has really drawn upon all of her early dance training (ballet, jazz and tap), as well as integrating new styles (hip hop and stepping).  She even chose to give up the choir for dance (which is huge, if you know how much the Tween loves to sing!).  So I am very proud of her and all of the young ladies on the JIOP - Congratulations and Kudos to their ministry leader, Amber Whitted, who works so hard with them each week!

So I've hinted for the past few weeks that I have some new trails I'm blazing; I'm not ready to fully disclose yet, but I've been led to do some regrouping, rebranding, and some stretching.  In it all, I've been rejuvenated!  Let me explain.  

First, let me ask you a question:  Are you a dreamer?  

I'm a planner; a list maker extraordinaire; an intricate mix of creative spirit with Type A tendencies.  That makes for an interesting life, ya know?  Anyhoo, way back when I was in high school, I made a life plan up to age 25; then at 25 I made a life plan up to age 40 (I said I was a planner, go with it).  I didn't accomplish everything on those "life plans," but they were my dreams and provided me with a roadmap of sorts to try and accomplish them.  And I can truly say that I did see some of those dreams come true - which is an amazing feeling! Since age 40, I have been plan-less to a degree. Not that I haven't had any plans at all; each year I make a yearly intentional plan (which I'm sure I mentioned before), but no 5, 10 or 15 year plan.  So for as much as I've been able to check things off my annual plan, I had let go of having dreams.  If I'm being honest, a big part of the reason for that is that because of the level of disappointments and hurts I've experienced, I was afraid to dream anymore. Guess what?  Once you stop dreaming, you stop living... (just sitting that right here).

Well, during this whole life-changing process that I've been in for the past almost 3 years, I've had a lot of quiet time and self-reflection and all of that!  And through it all, whispering in my mind and my spirit is this message:  "it's ok to dream again."  That may not seem like a big deal to you, but to me, who has always lived a dreamer's life and hasn't for the past 5 years, that's huge.  During the move last fall, I came across one of my notebooks from 2005 where I had jotted down some ideas for things I would like to accomplish in the future.  At that time, I didn't have the proper support system to reach for those dreams, so I put them aside.  Hadn't really thought of them since.  But in the move, I came across the notebook and I didn't throw it away, but set it aside.  Since then, those things have been weighing heavily in my spirit, pushing me to pick them up again, and a little over a month ago, I said "ok."  And when I did that, things began falling into place to the degree that I know that is God directing my path.  Indeed, I pray each day for God to clear the path and remove any obstacles set forth by man to thwart the vision; to open doors that no man can shut; and to keep us squarely on task as we move forward.  And it's been going well.  So well in fact, that it was making me nervous, and the "what ifs" began.  

When I got to church this morning, guess what the sermon was about?  The title was "Your Dreams Can Come True."  (I keep telling y'all that God speaks to me...).  And for all my dreamers out there, even those who have been afraid to dream again, this post is to encourage you.

The Bible was full of dreamers; the first dreamer noted in the Bible was Jacob (Genesis 28:10-15) - and the lesson from that passage of scripture is that even during those times that you are doing the least thinking about God, He can be thinking the most about you... 
The next dreamer noted is Laban, Jacob's father-in-law (Genesis 31:29) - who got told in a dream to leave Jacob alone, basically.  Moving into the New Testament, there was Pilates' wife, who told him to leave that innocent man (Jesus) alone, because she had been troubled by dreams all night concerning him (Matthew 27:19).  Probably the most famous biblical dreamer was Joseph (which I know I've written about before); the passage of scripture noted today was Genesis 37:5-8.  The lesson to be learned from Joseph's life is that dreams from God must be nourished and nursed during hard times...

So my fellow dreamers, it's ok to dream again.  No matter what has happened, no matter how your dreams may have been thwarted up until now, no matter how many haters and evildoers have tried to stop you.  Regroup, restructure and rejuvenate, but don't stop dreaming!  As Thomas Jefferson said, "I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."  Pastor Singleton said today, "you can't have a dream and not have someone try to shoot it down because they have no dreams of their own, so they try to bring you down to their level."  Even in suffering, don't give up on what has been put in your spirit. Directly from the sermon today and what struck me the hardest:  God knows how to get you where He wants you to be, even if wicked people are part of the path (and they will be held accountable for their actions).  Don't believe it? Go read the story of Joseph in Genesis; I also wrote about it before, you can read it here.  Believing in the dreams that have been quietly whispered into your spirit or in your dreams (day or night) and going for them takes faith.  As my friend and soror said today, sometimes it's a "faith crawl" instead of a faith walk, but keep moving.  

So my friends, I ask you again - are you a dreamer???  I can now answer that question affirmatively again:  Yes, I am a dreamer!  I have BIG dreams, so watch out world!!!  I found a fitting graphic for where I stand today:

So what say ye, Blog Framily - any other dreamers out there???  Holla @ Darvi, and let's talk about it!  Have an awesome week and pray for me as I pray for you.  Be Blessed. xoxoxo

War Games...

Hello again, Blog Framily!  I trust that everyone had a wonderful weekend and that all of the mothers and grandmothers had an amazing Mother's Day!  Me?  Well, mine was certainly eventful... I went to church, took my mom out to lunch and came home to yard work before helping the Tween with her science fair board.  Finally, I got to collapse just before midnight.  Happy Mother's Day to me!!!

I hope that you got something out of last week's postings; I challenged myself to post every day and I must tell you, it's hard.  My hat is off to those bloggers who post every day; it is more than a notion!  You have to be very disciplined and have set-aside time to write (which is constantly an issue in my busy little world...).  But, I rose to the challenge and persevered - success of perseverance!

So yesterday (Monday) I toyed around with what I wanted to start this week with and something had popped into my mind earlier and I kept playing around with it in my mind but nothing was concrete yet.  When I got to class and we started talking about the lesson, "When Trouble Comes," and the ensuing discussion, it was confirmation of what I had thought about earlier and I had to rush home so I could start writing.  Now hopefully this will flow and make some coherent sense, because I am SLEEPY!  But, I'm going to try my best to get it finished in one sitting (which I did not...).  No sermon today, just my own thoughts and reflections, so pray my strength...

When we think about war, we immediately get images of military tanks, soldiers carrying guns while wearing camouflage, spies, and things of that nature.  Indeed, war is defined as the state of armed conflict between societies, generally characterized by extreme collective aggression, destruction and usually high mortality.  By way of example, political warfare is the use of political means to compel an opponent to do one's will based on hostile intent. Political warfare's coercive nature leads to weakening or destroying an opponent's political, social or societal will and forcing a course of action favorable to a state's interest.  It may be combined with violence, economic pressure, subversion and diplomacy but its chief aspect is the use of words, images and ideas.  The ultimate goal is to alter an opponent's opinions and actions in favor of one state's interest without using military power.  And finally, war games are defined as a simulation of a proposed plan of action or a strategy, intended to test its validity when challenged.  War games.  I'm sure that most people think of war games in terms of video games that simulate war, or civil war reenactments.    

Regardless of how you view war, whether political, game or otherwise, I have but one question:  Are you ready for war???? 

This cute little guy is geared up for a fight in his camouflage, his slingshot and looks like a snack in his other hand.

But what about you – are you ready for a fight???

Our class lesson centered on the story of Job.  Now, unless you live under a rock, you’ve heard of Job:  the righteous man who was very prosperous and upon whom God allowed Satan to inflict tragedies and great loss after Satan declared that Job only served God because of all He had given him.  So as the story goes, Job lost all of his riches, all of his children and then his health.  See Job 1-2. His own wife told him to curse God and die.  His friends figured that he must have done something wrong because all of those bad things couldn’t and wouldn’t happen to a good person.  Job himself began to curse his very existence and begged for death.  Yet he never cursed God for his predicament.  He did, however, question God as to why all of this had happened.  And guess what?  God answered!  Don’t believe me?  Check it out for yourself in Job 38-41.  Now, not a straightforward answer, but more like a reminder of who God was.  And Job felt small, so very small and withdrew his questions (Job 42).  And because of his faithfulness, even in the midst of his storms, God restored double what Job had before.  One of the greatest lessons in the Bible on staying faithful to God even when things don’t look good or like they are working in your favor!

So in our discussion about the lesson, one of my classmates made a point that I thought critical to this topic:  your praying, fasting, attending church and building up your spiritual life is boot camp, and when the storms of life comes (war/battle), that’s when you have to put into action what you have practiced for.  Let’s just let that marinate for just a moment.

My ex-husband and a few cousins were all military men (Army and Marines).  Different branches of the armed forces, but the process was still the same:  their military training all began with boot camp.  Boot camp is where civilians are turned into soldiers.  They have an extremely regimented schedule with very strict diet, exercise, bedtimes, rising times, cleaning and military training and exercises, all designed to transform them into soldiers.  They learn to put together and take apart weapons in a set amount of time; they run obstacle courses while carrying weighted bags; they learn to shoot properly and identify the difference between targets and civilians in the blink of an eye; they learn to survive on the bare necessities (I forgot what those freeze dried meals were called, my ex-husband sent me some once while he was away just so I could see what it was – I settled on the word disgusting to sum it up, but I digress).  But when boot camp is over, they graduate, signaling that they are ready to move to the next phase.  Sometimes, and probably more often now than back when my loved ones were in the military, they leave boot camp and get sent into war.  There they are expected to put their training into action without hesitation; it is their duty.

And so it is with us.  Praying, fasting, reading scripture, going to Sunday School and bible class, attending church, taking spiritual development classes, working in ministry, discipling others – those are all parts of boot camp, Christian boot camp, that is.  And just like the soldiers who train in boot camp and then leave prepared for war, so it is with us.  War is not pretty; I don’t think I’ve ever heard of “pretty” warfare.  War is pain, weakening, loss, pressure, sometimes violence – you get the idea.  None of that is pretty stuff.  And the thing is, just like the soldiers in the military, as soldiers in God’s army, we are to use our training and tools to survive the war.  Ouch.

I say ouch because I have to be the absolute WORST soldier in God’s army to ever live!  I can’t speak for anyone else, but only for me.  And maybe you’ve all been good little soldiers your whole little lives, but that ain’t me!  This is about it all goes in my world:  I’m going along, minding my own business and things are going good.  Then something bad happens.  I pause, but don’t skip too many steps.  Then another bad thing happens (sometimes that’s it, other times, there have been 2-3 or more things coming at me at once; a full out war!).  As soon as the onslaught of war starts, I would usually be found crying, complaining and frankly, just ill-prepared for battle.  I mean all of my training went completely out of the window and I floundered.  When that happened, I usually ended up taking a lot of hard hits.  Those hard hits manifested as depression, despair, hopelessness, solitude – you get the idea.  Just like military soldiers on the battlefield who get injured (or injure others) when they forget their training.  But then on the flip side, eventually the captain was able to get a message to me (usually in the form of wise counsel from a friend) that made me turn back to the tools of my training (whether that was studying scripture, reading encouraging books, attending church, however it happened at the time) and I had to go back into training again.  Let me say this though, it’s much harder to train (or re-train) in the midst of a battle; it’s almost always better if you have the training done before the battle comes.  Being unprepared and making mistakes can be costly in war – the same applies in our lives.

Scripture tells us to put on the whole armor of God so that we may be able to take a stand and withstand the devil’s schemes (war games).  See Ephesians 6:10-18.  I can’t tell you that the battles won’t come, because they will.  And they will come stronger and harder when you decide to walk this faith walk.  See, while you are out in the world, the devil could care less what you are doing because you are not a threat.  But the moment that you make that decision, you had better get your weight up and get to training, because war is surely coming your way.  And sometimes the hardest thing to remember when you are in battle is your training because you are in pain, you’re lonely, you’re heartbroken and you just want it to stop.  But you can’t stop – stopping won’t win the war.  It’s human to feel those things, but you can’t stay there too long.  I know, because I’ve been guilty of staying there too long and almost giving up the battle.  But the captain spoke to me, and so here I am, still fighting.

What am I saying here?  That trouble will come, but it won’t last always.  I can’t remember where I read this before, but there is a quote that says something to the effect of: at any given moment in life, you are either in a storm, coming out of a storm, or about to enter a storm.  There’s always a storm.  But what you have to do is be prepared.  When the weather forecast says rain, you take an umbrella.  If it says cold and snow, you wear your winter gear.  And so it must be in your faith walk as well.  When the storm starts a’ brewing (or the battle starts), start getting making sure you are ready.  That may look like extra praying time, fasting, getting your prayer circle together, journaling, taking classes, loading up your gospel playlist -whatever it looks like in your life.  And when you find yourself in the midst of battle, cling to God, His faithfulness and His promises.  (I’m going to write about the benefits of keeping a prayer journal in another post, but that is an excellent way to survive the battle). 

Now you know I can’t end this post without a song, right?  Anything less is uncivilized!  So let’s do this one, from Pastor Charles Jenkins and Fellowship:  War.

I hope I’ve done the story of Job justice; I ask you again – Are you ready for war??? Holla @ Darvi, and let me know what tools you keep in your arsenal for when you find yourself in battle.  As always, thanks for reading and be blessed.  xoxoxo            

Be Intentional...

TGIF, Framily!!!!  Thank God I made it to Friday and accomplished my goal of posting every day this week!  So I want to end the week talking about being intentionally focused.  (I know wrote about focus a few weeks ago; you can refresh your memory here, but I want to talk about it from another perspective).  

There is a song out now called "Intentional" by Travis Greene.  It is a song that plays over and over in my head throughout the day.  It speaks of God being intentional about things that are happening in your life and that there's no need to worry.  Have a listen:

Nice song, right? But guess what?  As much as God is intentional about His plans for us, He expects us to be intentional as well in the things we are to do.  Especially when we beg and pray for him to enlarge our territory like the Prayer of Jabez... To illustrate this point, I turn to the March 20th sermon of Bishop TD Jakes - "Coming into Focus" (text from Luke 9:49-55). This one is for those of you who, like me, have big dreams!  (*below is the summary of my notes taken as I listened to the sermon,outline style*)  

• Can’t have a new blessing with an old order,  you have to refocus or you will have chaos
• Restructure, reorganize and order is the answer to anxiety
• It doesn’t mean that you can’t do it or can’t have it, just not with the old order
• Are you organized for what you prayed for?
• Need to refocus for where you’re going, not for where you’ve been
• Chaos= out of order for the weight load you are carrying
• Had to follow someone without focus
• Money without focus will have you in poverty!
• Sometimes you have to leave good things behind because they don’t fit where you are going
• Focus= discipline
• Almost as bad as no focus is wrong focus     
• Wrong focus is committing to the wrong thing; right efforts in the wrong matters
• Anytime something moves, you have to refocus
• Focus is important
• What is your center/priority?
• Focus on the center then deal with the parameters
• What have you set your face on?
• You have the power to bring your life back into focus
• Where God is taking you, you have to get your life into focus
• If it hasn’t happened by now
• If you’re going to win any kind of fight, need to focus
• In this season, I need to focus (not enough time or money to do everything)
• In the text, Jesus seemed aloof because he wouldn’t go to Samaria (and get out of focus) 
• The disciples came and told him that someone was casting out demons in His name and he was not one of the disciples and Jesus was unconcerned.
• See also Philippians 1:19: Paul said as long as they are preaching Christ, I rejoice whether sincere or not
• Is your lens too wide?
• If your lens is too wide, you are out of focus
• Focus is too important to be compromised
• Do you not know how strong you are when you are focused???
• Gotta get (my) YOUR focus!
• Have to choose what you let hurt you and what keeps you up at night
• No one is strong when doing too many things at one time
• The greatest resistance comes near the greatest opportunity; fight with greatest focus
• Don’t let ego drive you out of focus
• You are like FIRE when you are focused!
• If you can focus with a little, you can be blessed with more
• Show God you’re an investment
• That’s what tithing is all about
• When focus on God first, all other things can be given to you
• Can be focused in one area and out of focus in another
• Sometimes the whole front end of your life can be jacked up but God will break the order and save the best for last
• People are drawn to your season of miracles, but will they love you out of season?
• Move from season of miracles to season of message
• The real test of commitment is to go through the seasons
• Every stage requires a bit more from you (also stages of Christian walk)
• Miracle Stage – Message Stage- Movement Stage (consecration enough to have moments with God) – Mission Stage (after movement stage, Jesus set his face to go to Jerusalem)
• The real test is your commitment to loving God when you don’t like what He’s done
• Can you love me when you don’t like me?
• In order to be on a mission, you have to set your face
• Requires discipline
• Where is your mission?
• It will take you to the cross, sacrifice, self-denial, something is more important than you
• Whatever that is, it is your mission
• To be focused is intentional & have priorities 
• God is intentional, no matter what it looks like
• Time to get in focus and stop worrying about parameters and distractions
• One way we show focus is through tithing (give what’s right, not what’s left)
• What will you do with more focus?

I've said it before and I'll say it again:  Bishop Jakes is an awesome teacher!  Now, his style isn't for everyone, but for me, who is a student at heart, I love learning new things, especially a new life application to scripture.  But I urge you to give it a shot; here is the sermon in its entirety: 

What am I saying with all this talk about being intentional?  Let me show you!  

A little more than a year ago, a friend of mine who was gearing up to study for the CPA Exam (4 parts) asked for prayers from her friend circle.  We began praying for her, over the course of the year, some of the exams had a positive result and others not so much.  Her family experienced some health challenges with one of her children, resulting in a huge and devastating setback on this quest.  She took some time to regroup and focus and meanwhile, I began to pray even harder and with even more specificity.  Intentional and focused prayer, while she engaged in intentional and focused study.  Today (May 5th), I got the call that I had been waiting for:  all parts of the exam were complete and passed!  Amen!!! I am STILL high off that happy news today about my answered prayers!  You know why?  Because as long as my friends are getting blessed and my prayers on their behalf are being answered, it means that God is still in the blessing business and mine is coming too!

In my own world, I am in the midst of embarking on some new ventures, which I will share details about later.  But I do ask for your prayers that God directs my path as I intentionally train my focus on them.  This sermon has been the kick I need stay focused and intentional about the things I need to do to make some of these dreams of mine a reality.  I'm so excited about it all, I could burst!  But I must stay focused... I have big dreams, y'all!  And so should you.  

I can't remember exactly where I've heard this before, but it's something to the effect of: God may plant the seed and direct your path, but you still have to do your part.  As my old pastor, Pastor James Brooks, preached back in 2010 when I first visited his church, He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.  Meaning that He is before you and behind you as you walk the various paths of your life and destiny.  He is the author and finisher of your fate.  But you have to walk the road.  In the words of Ted and Sheri, "He starts it, and He finishes it, but you've got to work the middle."  I was trying to find a link to the whole song, but I'm only able to get a snippet (sorry!) here, track 10.  I hope you can get the message though - you have to do your part.  God gives you the dream but you have to do your part to make it a reality.  Well how do I do that?  By being intentionally focused...  Remember, "I can do ALL things through Christ, which strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13.

So who is going to be intentionally focused with me in this season?  Holla @ Darvi and let me know that you're standing with me (put me on your prayer list and when I share my testimony you can add it to your answered prayer list!).  Be blessed and have a wonderful weekend!  xoxoxo

Experiencing Power...

So Framily, I am definitely on a roll here this week!  And I am just about caught up with all that I have been wanting to share with you!!! And it feels good to be writing again - I miss it very much when I'm away too long... And wouldn't you know it?  I started feeling sick yesterday (and it continues this morning), just enough not to have finished this when I wanted to... 

I had originally decided to use the title of last Sunday's sermon for this post, but this morning when I woke up (feeling awful, I might add), I realized that it really is a question of your experience with God.  Go with me here.

"Who is God?"  was the title of this past Sunday's sermon (May 1st) and it has really stuck with me all week.  I'm sure that everyone, both believers and non-believers, has asked that question at one time or another.  I mean, we can't see Him and yet we're told that He's all around us.   

Now this one may get a little deep, but just try and stick with me as I recap the sermon and then add my own take on it all.   *following is the sermon summation from my notes taken during service except where otherwise noted.* 

Pastor Singleton started the sermon with this statement:  What you believe about God is the most important thing in your life: how you plan, live and end it.  

The text was short, Exodus 5:1-2:  

1Afterward Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Let my people go, so that they may hold a festival to me in the wilderness.’ ” 2Pharaoh said, “Who is the Lord, that I should obey him and let Israel go? I do not know the Lord and I will not let Israel go.”

Of course this is the beginning of the section of Exodus when God told Moses to tell Pharaoh to let His people go.  This was the very first time that Moses and Aaron had gone to Pharaoh, and of course, Pharaoh scoffed at their request.  It is clear that Pharaoh didn't know who God was.  (This of course happened pre-plagues and the Red Sea).  According to Pastor Singleton, there are two meanings to Pharaoh's statement in verse 2:  1) who are you talking about and 2) what makes you think I care about obeying Yahweh (one of the names of God used in the Hebrew Bible)?   

Fast forward to today and we have the same problems - people don't know who God is and they don't care about obeying Him.  There has been a domino effect in our world; not knowing God has caused our issues, and instead, "counterfeit Gods" of sex, money, politics, power, and personal success reign.  Pastor Singleton noted that while God made man in His image, today man is trying to make God in his image... meaning that because they don't know God, they make him up based on themselves (meaning that people are deciding what right and wrong is and no longer following any doctrine).

Now back to the text, Pharaoh believed God to be only the low-ranking God of slaves who couldn't do anything, so he probably thought nothing of his response.  Now Moses of course had a very human response to Pharaoh's response, see Exodus 5:22-23, "I did what you said, now the people are worse off than before."  Sidenote:  just because God tells you to do something and you're in the will of God, doesn't mean that you will immediately reap the reward; sometimes you get in more trouble at first but it starts with faith and obedience; the way may be rough, but in the end, God is faithful.  The Word goes on to say in Exodus 6:1 that God said now you will see what I will do; thus was the beginning of the battle between God and Pharaoh (and we all know how that turned out)!

Just like Israel, we serve an invisible God who is revealed by His power.  See here:

Isaiah 44:6-8New International Version (NIV)

The Lord, Not Idols

6 

“This is what the Lord says—

    Israel’s King and Redeemer, the Lord Almighty:

I am the first and I am the last;

    apart from me there is no God.

7 

Who then is like me? Let him proclaim it.

    Let him declare and lay out before me

what has happened since I established my ancient people,

    and what is yet to come—

    yes, let them foretell what will come.

8 

Do not tremble, do not be afraid.

    Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago?

You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me?

    No, there is no other Rock; I know not one.”

He showed his power again with Elijah:

1 Kings 18:36-39New International Version (NIV)

36 At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: “Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be knowntoday that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. 37 Answer me, Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.”

38 Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.

39 When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!”

God answers by power; it is the power of God that convinces unbelievers that He is God.  Know that He has not forgotten or forsaken you; He is setting things up so that you will know that He did it.  What you are going through prepares you for the next test  (you need to pass the test and stop being set back).  Remember that power belongs to God and there is NOTHING too hard for God.  All good and perfect gifts come from above- in the old testament, God was invisible but his power from above was always visible; in the new testament, Jesus came from above (John 1:14) and God's power was manifested in the person of Jesus!  Scripture references:  John 10:36-38; Revelations 1:8.  

Great sermon, right?  So while I love the title of the sermon, I have my own question for you:  Have you seen God's power in your life???

I had the occasion on last Sunday afternoon to surprise my aunt on my father's side, Debra Wills, at her annual birthday musical that I can never attend because I always have a conflict.  I am so happy that I rearranged my schedule in order to attend; I had no idea that she had been as sick as she's been.  Amidst the joy in celebrating her birthday and all of the wonderful singing that went forth, what struck me most (and stuck with me this week) was when she took the microphone to personally thank everyone for coming out and to share a bit of her testimony with those present.  She also handed out "thank you's" to everyone and I will share a bit of what it said here:

"God has kept me in ways you would never imagine and I have come through it all 'victorious!'  I can truly say, 'My God is an Awesome God.'  Trials, tribulations, heartache, sickness, financial hardships, etc. will come.  You can make it if you fight... How do you fight?  Prayer, fasting, a righteous and saved life!  Use your weapon called "Praise;" the word says 'In everything give thanks.'  1 Thessalonians 5:18.  Praise your way through!  We are not perfect, but I encourage you to live for God and He'll cause you to LIVE and have it more abundantly.  'Don't faint, use your weapons!'  As (her pastor) Pastor Palms has taught us, you may have to go through a process but God will deliver.  Job 23:10-12.  Have faith, believe it will come to pass; you're going to outlive what you're going through."

What an awesome testimony and outlook!!! Seeing her, the effects of the physical manifestation of her sickness, and the fact that the doctors had counted her yet she's still standing?  I KNOW she has seen the power of God working in her life! She'd kill me if I posted a photo of her, so I will refrain...but how about I post a photo of her musical invitation that was posted on the screen at the church instead- that shouldn't get me in trouble!

Know that when I listened to her speak and read her written words, it confirmed what was in Pastor Singleton's sermon earlier and what God has spoken to me about things in my world. I love my relatives; I am not as close to them as I'd like to be, but I love them dearly.  More on that in another post...

One of my favorite songs in the world is "Power Belongs to God" by Hezekiah Walker and LFC.  I'm going to share it with you hear; it is a powerful, powerful song about God's power.  It's pretty old, it probably was released somewhere around 1999, but still timely.  I hope you enjoy it.

So I ask you again, Have you seen God's power in YOUR life???  If so, Holla @ Darvi and share!  As always, be blessed! xoxoxo    

P.S. - I can't get this text to line up... I need an IT person!!!