I got a feeling...

Happy Friday, everyone!  I wasn't sure whether I was going to write again today after just writing yesterday, but, well, since I have something to say, here we are! 

We've been having our typical Chicago weather - warm one day, cold and rainy the next.  I've learned just to always dress in layers, keep an umbrella in my bag and even a light scarf because I never know what the weather will turn out to be and the forecasts are of no help (I still say that weather person is the only job where you could be wrong everyday and yet, still keep a job!  Try that if you wanna if you work at a bank or restaurant where your job depends on accuracy... just saying).  Anyway, I digress.

I'm feeling some kind of way.  Have you ever felt restless, anxious, excited and a little scared all at one time???  That's how I feel right now (for about the past week) and I'm not sure why.  Well, scratch that, I have a pretty good idea of why.  There's so much going on, that my head is on swivel! But, and let me clarify this, not in a bad way.  I think I am truly in shock and awe at how quickly things can change, ever heard the phrase "turn on a dime?"  Yep, that's my life right now.  (I paused for a moment because all of these old gospel songs just popped into my head; may have to boot up iTunes...).

So let me try to break this thing down outta my head and onto this page! 

Restless:  I feel restless typically when I feel something coming and I'm not sure what and I'm trying to wrap my little OCD head around it.  I also feel restless when I feel like I'm not doing everything I should or could be. 

Anxious:  Well, the OCD makes me anxious at times, but this is more than that.  Again, I'm feeling like something is coming and I want to be prepared but I don't know what I'm preparing for.  But I feel like I'm being urged to move and get things done, so, to manage this anxiety, I'm trying to get things done.

Excited:  I'm excited about a few things (my scrapbooking retreat for one and also working on December Daily for the first time ever!  I FINALLY found page protectors for my album and I just had to run out and get them this evening, so now I'm ready to start playing and planning my album.  Why did I have to have them this tonight?  Because I wasn't going to be able to rest until I had them...).  But as exciting as those things are to me, I know that they are not the true reason for my excitement...

A little scared:  I feel a little scared because I don't know if I'm prepared for what's coming...

Got it?  Of course not, I know that was as clear as mud!  Let's try this again, shall we???
I'm feeling some kind of way.  I'm feeling like I'm tap dancing on the edge of the biggest thing to ever happen to me, but I have NOT ONE idea of what it is!  A few weeks ago on new member Sunday at church (y'all know, but just in case you forgot - Victory Apostolic Church), each of us was given a rock with the letters "A.P." on it.  Ok, so I was kinda late that Sunday and had missed the Sunday before so I had NO clue what was up with the rock thing, ok???  Anyhoo, besides taking a group photo (which is currently hanging in the foyer of the church), we watched a testimonial video from some Victory members who had some severe life challenges but were there to share their victorious testimonies with us.  And then Pastor Singleton explained to us that we, the new members, were part of the original members prayers that the ministry would grow.  Accordingly, the rock was given to us as a tangible reminder of "answered prayers" and that perhaps we could share our answered prayers with the ministry.  How neat is that????  

A few months back while in my One-on-One Discipleship class, when we did the unit on prayer, our leader, Evangelist Harrison, told us we should pray some God-sized prayers but to make sure that they were specific and measurable so that we would know when God answered them.  Shoot, I started asking for miracles!  Seriously, I took out my faith journal, turned to the prayer section and wrote out several specific things I wanted God to do.  I also verbally prayed over those same things and told God that I wanted Him to work it all out in such a way that there was no doubt that He did it (there are some other steps to prayer, but that's not what we're talking about at this moment - just don't want anybody to get confused and think this is like rubbing Aladdin's lamp and the genie appears to grant your wishes - uh, not!).  I have consistently prayed the same prayers for the most part since then.  I also have some friends who have also been praying with me.  Nothing big happened right away, just a few little things.  But then things kept happening and they began to stack up.  I became hopeful. Then a few huge negative things happened all at once and they crippled me for a moment.  Just a moment though.  I got myself back on track, and I verbally and mentally submitted all of it to God.  And just like that!  I could feel the shift in the atmosphere and I've felt free ever since. And the little things have continued and gotten bigger and now they're starting to stack up to the point that I am speechless!  To the point that all I can do is chuckle and say, "I see you, God." 

Now, does this mean I have it all together and that everything I've been praying about has worked out?  Nope, not all.  Being human and prone to worry, when bad or threatening things occur I get panicky and I want to pick things back up and try to fix them myself.  But you know what?  I've already tried that and it didn't work.  So I figure I may as well try it this way.  I can't remember where I heard this, and I have heard it many times from many preachers, but I'm gonna share it with you here:  sometimes God allows things to happen in our lives that we don't understand and that we can't fix ourselves so that we have to submit to Him and so that He can get the glory.  I'm talking about stuff that seems impossible to our human eyes, He can turn that thing around in the blink of an eye! 

So my feeling?  I got a feeling that God has just begun to show up and show out over here and when He's done, my testimony will be one for the record books!  So it is with restless, anxious, excitement (that scares me just a little) I'm just waiting and praying.  And listening to those urgings (which I know is the Holy Spirit) as I get myself in position.  I got a feeling that my miracle is on the way!

The song that was in my head?  Dottie Peoples, "For my good," you can hear it here.  It so accurately describes what I'm experiencing in my life and maybe it will speak to you as well, whatever your situations.  Know that even though the devil meant it for bad, God meant it for your good and you will win!  Now take that with you over the weekend!

Wanna see my rock?  It sits on my dresser as my visual reminder that God is still answering prayer:

 

And now I've shared it with you!  

So how about you, blogland - have you ever just "had a feeling?"  Or is it just me???  Holla @ Darvi and let's talk about it!  I like to celebrate victories with other folks, because it confirms that He is still working... Have a blessed weekend and I'll see you on Monday!